To not want to wait to try again? (Trigger warning for sensitive matter)

[lkjhuytiop]

Had a bit of a telling off from the EPU when I asked how long before I could try again and they insisted it was easier for them to date if I wait for at least one normal period. I am miscarrying currently at just under 6 weeks. I just want to be pregnant and be a mummy, I was and am so ready and feel devastated that this has happened. Although I am upset now I think once I have processed the upset in a few days, and when the bleeding has stopped, I’ll feel ok to try again.

Is it wrong to be so impatient? I don’t want to go against official advice but the MC seems very straightforward (as they go) and started naturally of its own accord. My HCG is fast decreasing and tests getting fainter and fainter.

All I can go off is what I was advised by the recurrent miscarriage clinic, it’s their bread and butter. I’d like to think this advice is based on clinical data.

The EPU and midwives are not miscarriage specialists, although they work around it and obviously see it day to day. They have expertise elsewhere which is why you will get conflicting information. I’ve heard the ‘dating’ reason before too and it’s stupid - we are acutely aware of when our last pregnancy ended.

The period is the sign that the lining of the uterus can't hold a pregnancy anymore and it's getting discarded. In order for a period to be there, it either would be the cleaning of the uterus after the miscarriage (in which case there would not have been an ovulation beforehand, so no pregnancy would happen anyway) or the first period after ovulation, in which case the lining would have been ready about a couple of weeks previously, while the egg was released and fertile. There's no increased biological risk in any case. If the lining is not ready, there simply wouldn't be a successful implantation that cycle, but no higher risk of recurrent miscarriage than for any other pregnancy.

Go with your heart ♥️

I miscarried a few years ago, it was very painful. I ended up getting pregnant within two weeks but then miscarried that one too. I’ve heard of people going on to have successful pregnancies in the same scenario though, and they use the 12 week scan to date it accurately anyway

I ended up waiting about 4 months to allow my cycles to regulate and my body and mind to recover from the loss before I tried again. I did have a successful pregnancy and gave birth a year after my second miscarriage

It's not based on clinical data. I looked into this extensively because DH has a translocation which means we have miscarriages at about 6 weeks. If we had waited every time then it was just wasted time and it made no sense, it took us long enough to get pregnant with a sticky one as it was.

There is no evidence to support either the theory that you're "more fertile" after a miscarriage nor that pregnancies conceived immediately after a miscarriage are more likely to miscarry.

Both of them are myths which go around but they have no basis in truth (or, they didn't in 2016/2017 which was when I was looking at it, I can't show you sources now, I can't remember what they were.)

If there is newer evidence, I stand corrected.

I think it’s up to you and how you feel. It took me six months to feel up to trying again after my first miscarriage as I bled for a while and just couldn’t face the thought of another loss so soon. But that was me, I waited anything between 4-8 months with the subsequent miscarriages some times longer than others when we were waiting for tests.

It’s horrible to go through and you have to do what’s right for you. Wishing you the best of luck.

This was advice I was given in 2022. I’m still inclined to trust it due to who gave the advice, they are very well respected in the field and as well as running the clinic they are lead for early pregnancy services and director of education across several hospitals. She’s rather impressive. I just don’t see her as someone who would perpetuate a myth without evidence. If you have done extensive research, someone like that will have too, as well as having access to things we might not necessarily have - studies, papers etc.

I accept I could be wrong though. If any information I pass on helps someone get that bit closer then I’m happy with that.

Thank you, I can’t tell you how helpful this has been (especially since the EPU couldn’t really answer my questions)

I think it will hurt more the longer I’m not pregnant, it’s all I can think about and so I don’t want to miss a month. It’s a scary time though worrying we might be carriers of a genetic problem which has led to the MC, being scared there could be another. I know all of that is so unlikely but it’s worrying all the same.

Thank you for sharing your story, so pleased you got your rainbow in the end x

Does anyone else have any more experiences?

Even though it might feel weird to take them after a loss make sure you keep taking your folic acid supplements- especially if you decide to try again straightaway. The most important time for folic acid is in the first few weeks of pregnancy as that’s when the neural tube forms and your body might be running a bit low after using some of its reserves in your previous pregnancy. So you want to be rebuilding your reserves straight away for the best chance of a healthy pregnancy next time rather than waiting until your next pregnancy to start.

Sorry for your loss and good luck when you try again

Thank you. I haven’t got any conception vitamins, just Pregnacare pregnancy ones. Are those ok?

Yes - it’s the folic acid that’s important and that would be in both - I think it’s mostly a marketing thing that seperate conception vitamins exist - anything that’s safe and helpful in early pregnancy is also safe and helpful in preconception.

Sorry for your loss. I didn't wait for a period until tried again and fell pregnant straight away. The only reason I could find for waiting was for dating purposes.