5+ year age gap

[ladycarlotta]

Hi all,
I'd like to lead with the fact that if we could have had children closer together we would have, but due to recurrent miscarriage we could not have children 2-3 years apart as we had planned. So just... go gentle on judging why we are looking at a gap this large.

We have one reception-age DC. If we continue to TTC the closest age gap we could manage would be 5.5 years between DC and a new baby. What are MNers experiences of that kind of age gap? How large a gap between siblings would you consider before it became undesirable to you? Or do we just throw in the towel and accept that we have an only? This would be fine since DC is a joy.

I have 6 years between my 2. Did I plan it? Absolutely. Do I regret it? No bloody way.
It meant that I was able to dedicate a lot of time to my second born just like the first had that I wouldn't have been able to had I had them closer together.
Apart from the eldest's teenage years of having an annoying younger sibling, it's been fab and they are really close now.

My kids are

30
27
18
13
10
9

So I've had every age gap really and I would say honestly don't worry or overthink it.
My 18 year old is super close with the 9 and 10 year old and the older ones love it come home and spend time with the younger ones.

Five years isn't an unusual gap between siblings at all. It wouldn't even occur to me that anyone would question it.

The relationship between siblings with a gap of a few years might be different to a relationship between siblings who are only a year or two apart, but different doesn't mean 'worse' or 'better'.

My own siblings are 9 and 6 years older than me and at no point was this any kind of problem for any of us.

I have a 6 year old and a 12 week old- the age gap is AMAZING and I wouldn’t change it !!

For me personally, it's too big an age gap. We're starting to TTC our second this month and DS will be 3-3.5 if we conceive in the first few months. I've already said to DH that if our second wouldn't be born before DS starts school (bang on 5) then I wouldn't want to keep trying.

But for me, that's because having similar age siblings that can share activities and interests while still small is a big factor in my choice to have another. Obviously I want a second child in their own right and the sibling issue isn't my only reason for that. But it is what tips me from "I could be content with one" to "I'd really like two". I feel like once the age gap gets over 5 years, it's a lot more divide and conquer parenting as they will need totally different things to do in the early stages.

But I don't think it's too big an age gap in general if you definitely want a second child. For everything that's harder with the age gap, there's lot of things that would be easier/better as well.