AIBU to hold on to a job I love?

[LoveSkaMusic]

Hi all,

I have a job that I really love, working with a very smart and enthusiastic group of people.

I manage several departments within the business and hold a senior management position.

I get paid pretty well, but could earn substantially more somewhere else, in a larger company. Probably at least £30-35k more.

This job will evolve into a C-level role in the next couple of years, I will be offered equity some time in the next couple of months. The founders plan to sell the business in the next few years and the payout on these shares could be life-changing.

The cost of living crisis has meant that our household bills are now greater than my take-home pay. Now, we have to spend at least 50% of my OH's pay on the bills too.

This makes things like saving for holidays/rainy days impossible and makes me feel like I'm failing my family. Thankfully we haven't had to cut down on the kids clubs or anything so that's something, I guess. Things are just far tighter than I'd like, surprisingly so.

We currently spend over £2k a month on the mortgage (£450 on gas and electric!), and overstretched when we bought the house 5 years ago. We did this on the basis that my career was on the up, then COVID happened and set my career back significantly. Needless to say, the salary progression that I expected to happen, didn't.

So, the question is:

Am I being unreasonable to stick with this job to see what develops despite being pretty skint?

Do I stick with this great job despite knowing we need more money now, or change job and lose the chance of a C-level promotion plus the potential to make a large sum when the company sells?

Just for added context, pay rises may well happen in the current role, but there's no guarantees.

Just to add, we could sell the house and downsize and have a less than £50k mortgage. But, I don't want to. This house going up by x% will be more than a smaller house going up by the same percentage, and I want to downsize on retirement and release the equity once the house has had plenty of time to increase in value.

That being said, if there were truly no other way, then I would, but we're not there yet.

Well it sounds like your choices are:

1. Struggle on as you are
2. Give up the job but keep the house
3. Give up the house and keep the job

Agreed!

Which would you do?

Well it not ideal financially but you are managing. If you hated your job I would say fuck it move on even if you miss out on the potential riches. However you like your job, so it’s seem worth tightening the purse strings whilst you wait to see what happens. It’s a no brainer to me. Though you haven’t said if your mortgage payments are likely to change any time soon which is another factor.

Sounds like it's short term financial pain, for long term gain by staying where you are.

I've worked in a high paying job that's stressful and soul destroying and it was awful, I now earn 25k less but in a job I love.

I'd stick with the job you have, certainly for now. A job that you love is worth it's weight in gold, when you NEED to work, and is really a great position to be in. Believe me, I've had enough shitty jobs to last me a life time!! If you have to tighten your belt for a while, well, a lot of us have had to do this due to the current cost of living. See how it goes for a while longer, and maybe give yourself a deadline for seeing some satisfactory form of progress. However, I do get the impression that while most people want to improve their standard of living, being in a position where you only need to use 50% of your DH's wages for bills, is already a nice place in life to be, so maybe you're just being a little greedy OP, and wanting everything all at once?? Just my thoughts.

It's not as greedy as it sounds because OH earns roughly 25% of my salary which means in real terms spare money beyond the bills is around £300, which often gets eaten up with random things like car Mots, household stuff etc.

So it's not impossible, financially. Just annoyingly tight

Mortgage payments should stay as-is until 2026, one half at 1.56% and the other renewed in June last year at 4.84%

So that's ok.

Well you can't buy happiness and it sounds like your current job makes you happy ... I guess you have to figure out what you'd rather risk/regret. Unfortunately only you can know this, go with your gut/heart

Struggle through it. Ask for a payrise.

Your DH can look for a better paid job? Secondary jobs for extra income?

Your husband has pay of around £600 per month since half on bills and £300 left. Could he work more hours?

Get a cheaper house. Seems like a no brainer

Is there any reason why you wouldn't ask for a pay rise OP? It's that time of year anyway, base on market comparisons of other jobs rather than your personal finances and explain you love your job and want to stay motivated in your role etc. but as commonly happens you have fallen behind the competitive market rate which is c30k more and you would appreciate if they could consider getting you close to it even half way at 15k

Depending on your salary that might not even be 10% so could play around with your ask based on that. From what you've said they would rather keep you than lose you over a pay rise

If you're absolutely 100% sure that you will progress in your company, stay where you are. Can DH look at ways to increase his income, why is it all on you? Ultimately the issue isn't your income, its that you bought a house you couldn't afford. You don't want to sell it, so you will just have to suck it up until your income increases.

I’d seriously consider moving house. The problem here isn’t the job, it’s working great for you, it’s that you’ve overstretched. I know you’re focused on the equity but I’d prioritise family holidays before the kids grow up and fly the nest.

2026 isn't very far away - if you aren't c-suite now, the likelihood of being c-suite and the company selling in 2.5 years doesn't seem super high?

If your husband's salary is only £600 a month after tax (based on £300 left) I would be considering options for him to increase his income. 37.5 hours a week of minimum wage would still take home £1500.

House wise, my first instinct would be to move, but if you love the house then that's not a great option. Obviously stamp duty also means it takes a long time to break even on a house move.

Is there anything you can do about insulation/reduce the gas and electricity bill? £450 is insane!

Thanks everyone, some really good thoughts there.

I think I'll suck it up for another 6 months to see about a pay rise, but will keep an eye on the job market to see if something amazing-sounding comes up.

There's a good chance I'll get a pay rise fairly soon, which will help sort things out.

Those of you who said a job you love is worth it's weight in gold are right. It's worth hanging on to for sure!

And yes, we did overstretch on the house, despite meeting all the affordability stuff at the time, it's been way tougher than expected!

My OH will work more when the youngest DC is out of yr 6, so only 18 months to go give or take!

Getting a cheaper house isn’t necessarily the obvious solution it would seem to be, especially in the current market. You still need a house that will be big enough for your family and it costs around £25,000 to move, factoring in stamp duty and fees.

Could your husband not get an evening job or some weekend work?