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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teen girl disclosure

28 replies

sunr111se · 08/02/2024 22:17

y daughter just unloaded as I was reading her bedtime story (yes she's 13 and still likes a story at bedtime), she said one of her friends was drunk on arriving at school and had told her she's been drinking vodka and lemonade all night as her dad was scaring her. My daughter poured the contents of the drink bottle away and brought her a bottle of water; they aren't in any classes together and she didn't want to get her friend in trouble by saying anything. She said this child has regularly told her that her parents scare her and she doesn't feel safe but has lots of siblings and wants to make them safe. My daughter says she's got bruises on her body that they see when they change for PEand she is always scared and "scratchy". What do I do with this information? I was going to email the safeguarding lead but not sure whether I'm over reacting? So my AIBU is would I be n reasonable to contact school?

OP posts:
Superduper02 · 08/02/2024 23:04

Singleandproud · 08/02/2024 22:52

You've done the right thing. As for those saying it's a dilemma and up to what your DD wants it absolutely is not.

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility, the school will treat it as anonymous information your child will not be identified to the friend although the safeguarding officer may talk to your daughter 1:1 to get a first hand account.

Children in secondary schools know about safeguarding and domestic violence and they are taught the procedure and what to do if they experience it or think a friend has. Both children have done the right thing by talking out to a trusted person and you have done the right thing by reporting to an authority.

Obviously what you've said is all true, however, there is a bigger picture, like it or not, that is worth acknowledging about how this could affect DD. As OP has confirmed that DD wants her to do something, she has her blessing to do the right thing. So not a dilemma anymore. OP should still be aware of risks to your DD if she is the only one who knows. Wish you all the best!

sunr111se · 08/02/2024 23:11

My dd said she's not the only one who knows; but honestly; she's that worried about her friend I don't actually think she'd care about any repercussions. She just wants her to be safe and happy.

OP posts:
Mirabai · 09/02/2024 00:37

By the sound of it there’s so much wrong in the family anyone could have reported them.

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