To think that this comment was really childish?

[empee47]

Met up with another school mum friend in the pub last week for a few drinks. Half an hour later, another group of school mums arrived so they’d obviously planned a night out together which neither my friend nor I had been invited on. Fair enough, we didn’t invite them on ours. The queen bee of the group passed by our table on her way to bar and said ‘didn’t expect to see you two here’ and throughout evening was looking over at us and laughing. We’re not the cool crowd, who decides that anyway, just two friends having a drink. Why do adults behave like this?

But you’ve invented the ‘walking off bit’ — the OP just says she paused on her way to the bar. It sounds like a neutral expression of mild surprise to me, the kind of thing you might say when you meet someone you know, but who isn’t on your night out, at the same place.

I dunno, sounds like a conversation starter to me? Did you say anything back? The looking and laughing could just be paranoia in the same way that people think someone looked at them funny, but it was just someone who happened to be looking their way.

If this happened to me I would have popped over and said hi and had a little chat with the other group. Isn't that what normally happens if you bump into an acquaintance in the pub?

As I passed by to the bar? Yes, why ever not?

Especially if I went there a lot (as this woman might) and had never seen the OP there before.

It's a completely normal thing to say.

It sounds like a neutral expression of mild surprise to me, the kind of thing you might say when you meet someone you know, but who isn’t on your night out, at the same place.

Exactly. I'm not getting the issue here. You sound a bit paranoid, OP. A bunch of women having an evening together are going to laugh a fair bit. And occasionally it might coincide with one of them looking in your direction. I can't imagine that any of them felt anything other than neutral about your presence. Why would they?

OP just thank your lucky stars that you aren’t like her. You sound lovely, she sounds awful! X

You sound similar in your actions and responses to one another.
If they were looking over and laughing, then leave that to them, nothing would annoy that type of character more than ignoring and not let it bother you.

The mean girls from school grow up!

I wouldn’t go as far as to call op mean. Just a bit silly

God almighty I'll never understand WHY people refer to this sort of thing as 'childish' - these fuckers appear everywhere throughout our lives. The insecure, spiteful bullies become adults and many of them don't change. They become set in their ways then end up in our workplace, our hobby group, our neighbourhood, our kids' school. They're not behaving like children, they're just horrible people.

who cares... its embarrassing

Could you have joined them?

Their problem, not yours. Rise above it.

I imagine it’s more a reference to bees and hives with he leader being the queen…..

Alpha

I’m embarrassed for them. How old are they 12?

If they were really laughing at you all evening then obviously that’s weird and rude.

I’d bet money they weren’t though. They were probably laughing about something unrelated, and you were looking over and made eye contact and assumed they were laughing at you (why, I don’t know).

As for what she said, totally innocuous.

I think you’re reading too much into it.

This is so childish, cool crowd and queen bee? As much as their behaviour is childish, you’re writing like you also are a young teen,

Exactly, for the op to know they were looking over she needs to have been looking at them, and it’s highly likely they were laughing at something else, it is very difficult to spend a whole evening laughing about the op and her friend. Even the ops language is childish.

Or maybe that she’s not seen them there before on her frequent visits so didn’t expect to see OP and her friend there? Seems utterly innocuous to me.

You were looking at them to notice them looming at you though?

Still all sounds a bit ridiculous

All this

The older I get, the more I think that the ability to just ignore other people is a massive advantage in life

Calling someone a "Queen Bee" is next level childish.

People who behave like this do so because behind closed doors they are miserable, soulless, insecure people.

no one who is genuinely happy and grateful in life would dream of acting like this.

Just be happy you aren’t here and focus on your life.

What the heck! 😂 what have the done, other than look back at the op who was clearly staring at them, and be laughing, unlikely at her but at their convo. How does that make miserable, soulless and insecure?

you win the internet hyperbole prize…