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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect my nanny to keep the house tidy

19 replies

Thumbelina3 · 08/02/2024 20:19

We have a nanny for our two children who are 2 and 4. Most of the day she just has the 2 year old at home as the older one is at pre-school. From 3ish she has both kids plus usually her own 4 year old who is also at pre-school.

I am getting so frustrated by how messy the house is when I get home. For example, tonight I have discovered an entire loo roll that has been unwound, towels over the bathroom floor, a dirty (poo) toilet, toys strewn across the floor, a dirty high chair and food under the table.

Our contract is that the nanny will do nursery duties. She will occasionally put on some of the kids’ laundry, but never folds up the clean clothes or puts them away. Once in a blue moon she will change the kids’ sheets.

The kids toys are so disorganised. Bits of toys just seem to go missing and are not tidied away properly e.g. puzzle pieces won’t be put back in the right puzzle boxes. Everything is randomly shoved into storage baskets. I used to have similar things together, but now it is all muddled up.

Things also seem to get broken quite frequently e.g. picture frames and ornaments and at Christmas several tree decorations got broken. If stuff does get broken, she will never inform us, we just end up discovering it ourselves.

I get that the children are young and make mess and accidents happen, but surely I am not unreasonable in thinking this is not normal? It was never like this with our previous nanny.

OP posts:
Mumaway · 08/02/2024 20:22

She's the problem, but you need to be explicit in your expectations of her and put it in writing. Most nannies will do kids laundry and bedrooms, including putting away, so she should also be doing this and you need to tell her that. During the day she can tidy toys with the littlest one, and can make a game of getting puzzles in the right place etc. Keeping your home safe and clean as it was when she found it is definitely not an unreasonable request

PutMyFootIn · 08/02/2024 20:24

YANBU - she should tidy or clean any mess up that your child makes whilst in her charge.

Just have a diplomatic word with her about expectations, it'll be fine.

Actupfishy · 08/02/2024 20:24

How do you rate her as a nanny?

If She is brilliant at care giving I'd have a gentle word, it's worth it's weight in gold.

if a bit meh on all fronts I'd probably let her go...

TheNanny24 · 08/02/2024 20:25

What feedback has she had from you so far?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/02/2024 20:27

You need to make it clear to her what you expect but you’re not being unreasonable.

At the moment you’re probably getting to clear up after not only your kids, but hers too. And paying her for the privilege. Genius!

chantelion · 08/02/2024 20:32

Well firstly having her own child there is a problem. If her child needs more of her attention then shes definitely not focusing on your children.
We have a nanny for my 15mo and she does absolutely everything child related, she also manages to iron all their clothes too! I have an older child and she manages them both very well. Surely the 2yo still naps? Why can't she get all the tidying done? My LO naps for just an 1hour and maybe a bit more and my nanny also manages to squeeze in a load of our laundry too. I would try find someone else because she doesn't seem to be coping and I'm sure if you ask her not to bring her child she would leave anyway.

minipie · 08/02/2024 20:33

YANBU

A basic whizz round towards the end of the day to make sure the house is presentable is a normal part of the job.

I’d also be a bit worried about the rate of stuff getting - is she overwhelmed? Maybe three kids under 5 is too much? Are you paying her less because she brings her own child?

BirthdayRainbow · 08/02/2024 20:34

She is not doing nursery duties with what you have said!

She should be watching the children and whatever mess they make she needs to clean it up. Sort the loo roll, towels, put away toys, clean the highchair and floor. She should be stripping and making the children's beds, doing all their washing for collecting it, putting it in the machine, getting it dried, folding or ironing and putting it all away. Toys should obviously be kept in their correct boxes.

I used to be a nanny. I had a job with a 3 month old, one with two five months old, one with a 3, 6 and 9 year old, one with a two years and a four month old and one with two six months old. I then had my own children, baby, 22 month old and four yet old. So I know what is expected of a nanny, what is achievable and how messy and hard work they can be.

I did all their cooking, washing, clearing up, errands, play and outings, took them to appointments and also did loads of extras too.

Time for a talk and the consequences of not doing what is expected and required explained.

2Old2Tango · 08/02/2024 20:35

She's not there to do housework (changing bed sheets) but she should be tidying up any mess made by herself or the children throughout the day. For example, picking up toys, making sure toilet and sink are left clean after children have used them, cleaning high chair after use.

I'd be having a word with her and setting out your expectations. If she refuses to abide by your wishes then look for someone else.

BirthdayRainbow · 08/02/2024 20:35

Changing the children's bedsheets is nursery duties. What with the actual bed being in the actual nursery..

olympicsrock · 08/02/2024 20:38

I suspect 3-6 pm is pandemonium with three young children. Is there a nap time?
can she sit them quietly for an hour at the end of the day watching tv while she tidies up?
If she is playing with a 2 year old / going to groups in the morning she might not have time to get much done.
How does she spend the day?

Bunniemalone · 08/02/2024 20:39

From the title of post I was going to say you are unreasonable OP to expect Nanny to be housekeeper & cleaner for the whole household, as have worked for families that read Nanny as Skivvy. But you are not, Nanny should be tidying up & cleaning after the children. Also their clothes should be laundered & put away. Plus bed linen etc. She is responsible for the sole care of your children & everything that entails. Breakages happen & these things happen, but you should be told. I was a Nanny & those are normal duties. I would also make or prep dinner for the family, as if I was making meals for the kids, not difficult or overly onerous to chop a bit more veg. I would also do family washing of they left laundry baskets in utility room, but not iron or put away, as I was in more than them. I genuinely worked for a few nice families, who were very good to me. I did work for some horrible ones, but never stayed for long.

Lizzieregina · 08/02/2024 20:48

YANBU.

Ive been a nanny in the past and everything you’ve mentioned would fall under being my job. Obviously the families I’ve worked for have always wanted me to prioritize the kids, but unless they were sick and having a really bad day where I had to hold them non stop, that stuff would be ongoing throughout the day. Example cleaning up the high chair would happen as soon as the meal was over, and keeping toys tidy as we go along.

Happyhappyday · 08/02/2024 22:20

Not unreasonable, our nanny always left the house the same as she found it with respect to kids stuff. She would also regularly organize the toys and cycle through what wasn’t being played with. She did DC laundry and definitely informed about broken things. Two DCs under 4.

user1477391263 · 08/02/2024 22:22

Tidying up and organizing after play is absolutely a nanny’s job, even if his/her contract does not cover housework as such. It’s part of the childcare work. She should also be teaching and encouraging your kids about how and why we tidy things up and take care of things.

Noseybookworm · 08/02/2024 22:35

You need to speak with her and make your expectations clear. It sounds like things might be a bit hectic for her at the end of the day with three children under 5! I would put away ornaments and precious things for a few years while your children are small, that way breakages are minimised.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/02/2024 22:44

Could you say before leaving can she have a blitz of the house if she's not able to pick up as she goes? Say that you're noticing this are a mess can she help you teach the kids to pick up and tidy up as they go along so they learn and you don't have to do in the evenings? Or if she can't manage this Can you suggest a time eg nap time that she can do it?

Copperoliverbear · 08/02/2024 23:09

This would really irritate me, she seems very lazy and dirty to me.

Somerandomgirl · 06/03/2024 13:52

Ummm...opposite on all other posters..have any of you been alone with your children at home and being able to finish any housework and keep the house tidy even after you've just tidied? Rhetorical question.
Do you expect her to leave the children alone and go do some housekeeping putting chemicals in the bathroom?
Maybe offer her a 10 more and say hey how about i pay you 10 more if you could do this and that for me today, leave a list at the table what needs be done. Maybe she doesnt know. Theres people expecting nannies to do housekeeping and theres people who get annoyed if you move their stuff , I'm sure theres posts in here like that. And just cause qualified as a nanny doesnt mean she can be a good housekeeper. You can change her if not happy, theres so many different people, thats the whole point

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