My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

So done with MIL!

6 replies

BeingmummyIsTheBestxo · 08/02/2024 19:38

My MIL is a right piece of work. Before I go into it I'll give some backstory. She has issues with alcohol and is an alcoholic, 6 months ago she started having seizures and was admitted to hospital. They said it was due to alcohol and she would need to cut down. She refused and wouldn't admit it was because of the alcohol. We tried to help her, I took her to all the meetings, wellbeing services, GP etc. at this point we was quite close and I was trying my best to support her, even though I couldn't se at the time but I was wasting my time. My DH at this point had washed his hands of her. My FIL was at a loss so I felt like I was the only one who was trying to help her. Anyway, th seizures stopped but she started to get delirious, she would make up scenarios on her head and was living in cockoo land. Some weird warped reality. Spending loads of money on silly stuff, going out at all hours in her dressing gown. Making up stories, calling the police and making accusations against my DH, FIL. Coming to my house and demanding money, demanding to see my DS. Assaulted me and my DH and FIL. Lots of other things too. But I would be here all night. Anyway, I decided I would cut her off. I've banned her from my house, but she still keeps sending me messages with abuse, calling me all th names. I probably shouldn't have but I laid into her and told her exactly how what I thought of her and shes dead to me and my son. My DH now is stuck in the middle, he says she's still my mum. I've said that's fine but sh s not coming to this house, she's not seeing my son. You do as you wish. Now, this may sound harsh but some of the things she has done is unreal. And not onc have we had an apology, or anything. She is in complete denial, saying she's had a nervous break or shes got a neuro issue when we all know it's th drink. My FIL tried to control her drinking but she then becomes aggressive violent (I've lost counts of times she's been arrested now for violence either at home or in the town). She is well known to police round here now also. My question is, am I being unreasonable to cut her off? My own mother was an alcoholic and I suffered major neglect and abuse as a child up until a teenager, and it's har lasting effect on me, I have an anxiety disorder and diagnosed pure O. My DH says I need to stop reflecting my own experience and blaming her. I'm not blaming her. I just can't do this again with someone else. I'm damaged mentally and I won't do that to my son by allowing her in our lives. Which I fear it will damage him if allow her to be present. I haven't spoke to my own mother for almost 10 years so I've no issue cutting her off and I've told her that. But she won't let it lie and is trying to make my life hell with the constant messages and when I ignore her she then makes up stories and messages my DH and then it causes arguments. How can I get it across that I'm not the bad guy here?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

20 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
0%
You are NOT being unreasonable
100%
Bettyscakes · 08/02/2024 19:49

Block her?

Windydaysandwetnights · 08/02/2024 19:52

Block her on your phone op.. And agree with dh her name isn't to be mentioned..
Been nc with ils for over 9 years now. They are never mentioned in our house.

Tinkerbyebye · 08/02/2024 19:52

Block her and leave her to your dh to sort and don’t let him take your child to see her

mamacorn1 · 08/02/2024 19:52

Block her. Ignore her. Tell the police of the harassment and get an injunction if you need to. The woman is unhinged and your dh needs to remember that you tried to help when he had previously washed his hands of her. I would be frank with dh - she is having no more to do with you or ds , he can do what he likes outside of the home.

BeingmummyIsTheBestxo · 08/02/2024 19:53

mamacorn1 · 08/02/2024 19:52

Block her. Ignore her. Tell the police of the harassment and get an injunction if you need to. The woman is unhinged and your dh needs to remember that you tried to help when he had previously washed his hands of her. I would be frank with dh - she is having no more to do with you or ds , he can do what he likes outside of the home.

Yes. Iv said this. Iv said that he can go see her or meet up or whatever but not with our DS and she is not welcome in this house while myself and DS are present.

OP posts:
BeingmummyIsTheBestxo · 08/02/2024 19:54

But he makes out like I'm just being petty or dramatic.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.