To think my baby shouldn’t be in this nursery room?! Or am I being precious?

[Hippan]

DD is fifteen months (last week). She is quite big but can’t walk yet. I was told when joining the nursery that she would be in a room for 8-9 months to 16-18 month olds, depending on her physical development. Every day I have collected her in the last 2 weeks she has been in the room up which is 16-18 months to 24 months. AIBU to think this is wrong? She is still crawling around two years olds above her?

And 15/16 months is late to move to next room. Ours go from baby room age 14 months to next room then there from 14 months till 2 year then next room etc.

My one year old is friends with the childminders one year old.

Often they're holding hands when I go to collect them. They also feed eachother food, blow kisses at one another, share toys, and scream when they're taken apart.

She's only 1 but it's 100% clear the two little ones have become friends. So just based on what I've witnessed with my DD this can't be true

They’re probably encouraging her to walk

And by the time you’ve finished worrying about it it’ll be the right time anyway. You’re talking weeks.

Hmm, I reckon a non walking 15month and 2yo age/behaviour difference is quite big. My big and sturdy 8mo goes to baby classes with kids almost 1 maximum (once their first birthday arrives, they have to move up to the over 1s groups) and they often nearly fall on my DC’s head when toddling about. I really don’t like it and I’m pretty easy going - and obviously the parents are all there 1:1 with their kids and I’m there with my DC constantly watching them right in front of me. One went to sit on my DC’s back recently. 🙈 I find 2 a lot more wild than 1!

Merging rooms after 'tea' was the norm 30 years ago when I was in nursery and 16 years ago when I worked in a nursery so it's definitely the norm.

That being said I do get why you feel worried, to you she's your tiny little one who is still so young (she is) but to the nursery staff she's ready to join and learn with the slightly older children and is likely tumbling over herself a bit if she's a pre-walker whereas they have small maybe not even rolling yet babies.

My son moved from the baby group to the 'young' toddler group (up to 2yo) before he could walk too because he walked quite late (17 months), but there was a clear gap between him and the babies. He was more interested in the toddlers activities, and the only thing that prevented him from moving groups was hom not walking.
I've never felt there was any danger due to him not walking at nursery. I found that most 2yo are generally mature enough to understand not to hurt babies.

I was a lot less comfortable when he was a 6 months old unable to even sit, in a room with crawling 12-15 months old trying to poke his eyes!

Both my children are very small and late walkers. They were both moved into tots at about 15 months, not walking and being considerably smaller. But the activities were more stimulating and they did better there. So I wouldn’t assume it’s necessarily a bad thing. I would take the cues from the child on if they were comfortable.

If she's happy where is the issue? My son never crawled, he rolled. He managed to roll quite far! It didn't seem to cause any problems that he was with kids that could crawl really well. He also didn't walk independently until he was 18 months old- I'm sure there are kids walking at 12 months or younger. He seemed happy and settled.

Yes 15 mo and 2 yo are very different developmentally, but what matters here is that a walking 15 mo and non-walking 15 mo are not. They will catch up soon enough with the toddlers and they are too old to be with babies.

12 mo are a massive danger to anyone and anything around them!

If she's new I'd have thought since only a month early they're settling her straight into older room rather than settle her then disturb her in a month!

My DD is nearly 15 months now but has been at nursery for 2 months. When we first put her on the list we assumed she’d start in the baby room, which goes up to about 16 months but instead she went into the next room up, which goes up to 2. The nursery said they thought it would be better as it would avoid her getting attached to the baby room staff and then having to move and settle again in the next room. She is still crawling, quite small for her age and some of the children tower above her but she seems happy!

Your going to worry about your child, that's part of being a mum 🙂
Whose to say she won't get pushed over by another child when she is able to walk? Bumps and accidents are inevitable. Best bet is to talk to her assigned key person for some reassurance.
My youngest is nearly 18 months and I know they mingle him in with the other older children as the day goes on and the numbers thin out. Regardless of the room they still need to have the correct ratio of children to adult so be confident that there is someone always keeping a close eye.

Maybe the nursery are giving your DD time in there to encourage her to walk?

I am an early years teacher and I have seen many children before their second birthday making bonds with other children. They get excited to see each other and will interact.

It was our experience too. Both girls loved socialising with the other babies, but DC1 in particular formed a real friendship with a little boy when they were about 18 months that stuck around until they started school and alas the class very quickly split down boy/girl lines. I was sceptical but the room lead said she'd seen it a few times and theirs was a definite friendship. It was very sweet.

Interestingly enough this very old mumsnet thread agrees with me (and all the psychology info online)
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/nurseries/176373-at-what-age-do-chilren-start-playing-with-each-other

Kids are often merged at the end of the day as numbers go down, it frees up staff to write up reports/refresh training etc. But you will often have a crossover period around the age barriers as she acclimatises to the next room and carers. In just a few weeks it’ll be the room she’s in always, and if they say she enjoys it there then she’s mentally ready to go up if not quite physically.

*edited for typo

I’d be happy about that! Why would you want her with 8-9 month olds? She’s 15 months…

I think I would have worried about this with my first so I do understand where you’re coming from. But now seeing the way my youngest DS interacts with my oldest DS and the positive impact on their relationship with each other then it wouldn’t bother me. The only thing that I’d be slightly concerned about is that the nursery haven’t mentioned it, ours will discuss a room change in advance and do some settling in periods. But like others have said if they’re just merging them later on in the day that’s different.

Maybe there’s a biter in her room so they are giving her a break. Ask the nursery, they will explain?

YABU

I agree with the previous points made:

-Most nurseries including mine have the age range as 0-2.
-This means that in a common setting, there would be a mix of walking and non-walking children.

My son didn’t walk until he turned 2 due to hypermobility, but no way would I have wanted him stuck the baby room forever. It’s also very common to move kids up slightly early. It also depends on when they have space.

The room only goes up to 24 months so she’s not going to be in the room with many 2 year olds. I was always happy when mine moved up as they learn new skills.

Also she is probably a lot bigger than some of the babies if they are only 8/9 months old, she could be crawling over them.

I wouldn't be concerned, I think its good to mix the ages as the little ones learn from the older ones and the older ones learn to be gentle with the little ones. At my son's nursery they have from 1-3/4 (depending on when their 4th birthday is) in the same group, there were crawlers there when my son was in the class with no issues. At my daughter's nursery they had them in the same group from 1-6 (live abroad, nursery goes to age 6 here)

I had exactly this worry 12 years or so ago when DC1 was in the same position. After that first room move, I looked forward to room moves as she would have a massive developmental leap each time. With her next room move around her second birthday, she went from putting a couple of words together to sentences within days. It was remarkable.
The other thing I learned was that nurseries are juggling the needs of all of the DC who attend and that it can be quite difficult to do this. Children are born throughout the year & start nursery at different ages due to when parents return to work. There is only ever one real departure point though which is over the summer before they start school so there will be a real exodus at that point. So you've got a cohort in the pre-school room who aren't going anywhere and then you've got new babies joining and you're having to balance their needs with the existing babies & toddlers across the rooms that you have,
Finally, our nursery often used to merge rooms after tea. When it was DC1, I was terrified about her in with these huge kids who to me seemed to be going around like marauding pirates. Roll on two years to the summer after DC2 joined and the whole nursery ended up together in the afternoons and i thought it was lovely that they were spending time together at nursery and DC1 loved telling me what DC2 had been doing, particularly on the day when our neighbour's baby was also there.