Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried about DS4 and little brother

5 replies

googoogaa · 08/02/2024 08:19

My DS4 can be pretty mean at snatching toys from DS nearly 2.

DS2 also isn't an angel and they do stuff to each other and antagonise each other.

I intervene and stop these fights. I put DS4 in time outs and / or take toys away from them if they're not taking turns and just fighting and hurting each other. It's not really hitting, more like tug of war type stuff.

In any case, DS4 goes to school nursery and one of the moms has told me that her DD keeps saying that my DS is hitting her. Every day, for a long long time.

None of the teachers have ever raised any concerns with me and I have recently been asking if he's doing ok quite a lot and I keep being told he's doing really well and really enjoying himself and getting stuck in and making friends etc. I also asked if he's listening well and they say he's definitely got his own mind and knows what he wants, but he's doing really well at learning boundaries etc and listening quite well too.

I'm very concerned about what the mom said though. I have asked DS4 several times if he hits or if he gets hit and he says no. Although he has also told me a couple of times after school that ' xyz hit me '. I didn't think much of it.

In any case I'm concerned that DS behaves the way he behaves with his little brother at nursery too. Surely the teachers would say something though if he was hitting this child every day ?

Anyway I guess my post is for twofold advice:

  1. How can I get through to my children, but especially DS4 that they should be kinder to each other. Many times DS2 starts playing with something, DS4 takes it away and there is a big tug of war going on.
  1. How do I deal with this mum saying my DS hits her child ? As DS4 doesn't really hit his brother, but I definitely observe unkind behaviour a lot from him.

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
Windydaysandwetnights · 08/02/2024 08:23

Ime never get into school issues with the other parent. Say you /her need to speak to school about it. Never between yourselves.. Repeat if necessary.. Ask the teacher. And remind ds that dc who hit wont keep any friends.

googoogaa · 08/02/2024 08:23

Windydaysandwetnights · 08/02/2024 08:23

Ime never get into school issues with the other parent. Say you /her need to speak to school about it. Never between yourselves.. Repeat if necessary.. Ask the teacher. And remind ds that dc who hit wont keep any friends.

I totally agree. Yeah I keep saying this to him indeed.

OP posts:
googoogaa · 08/02/2024 08:35

Anyone ?

OP posts:
MotherofChaosandDestruction · 08/02/2024 09:13

OP this sounds like normal sibling rivalry so please don't stress too much. I always took the toy that was taken from the younger child back and then distracted the older one with something else. If it's an attention thing then making a big deal out of it will make it worse.

In regards to the other parent I wouldn't engage. I would directly ask the nursery that the parent has approached you and is it true? For all you know the girl could be confused with another child, be exaggerating or it happened once and she's misremembering. They will deal with that behaviour at nursery but always reinforce the kind hands at home.

googoogaa · 08/02/2024 15:02

MotherofChaosandDestruction · 08/02/2024 09:13

OP this sounds like normal sibling rivalry so please don't stress too much. I always took the toy that was taken from the younger child back and then distracted the older one with something else. If it's an attention thing then making a big deal out of it will make it worse.

In regards to the other parent I wouldn't engage. I would directly ask the nursery that the parent has approached you and is it true? For all you know the girl could be confused with another child, be exaggerating or it happened once and she's misremembering. They will deal with that behaviour at nursery but always reinforce the kind hands at home.

Thanks for your kind response

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page