To ask for second baby experiences?

[bigtasty24]

I remember finding the early days hellish with my first born. I really struggled with how much life changed and how I could no longer do whatever I wanted, not to mention the lack of sleep which was a complete killer.

He's now nearly 5 and we are at a stage where he's a complete joy and I love to spend time with him.

But.. I'm about to have another newborn in about 3 weeks and I'm freaking out!

Am I completely naive to think I won't find it as difficult the second time round?

I'm nearly the same as you and interested to find out!

Congratulations! I think you’ll be fine OP - you’re not naive at all. You know what it’s like, for starters. Been there, done that, got the T shirt. The only difference this time around is you also have a 5 year old, but that’s ok. I’m guessing he is in school? You’ll have lots of time with baby through the week and nice family days at the weekend. The age gap between me and my sister was a bit bigger but my parents loved it because they said she could understand that mummy has to see to the baby first, whereas a younger child would feel pushed out. She was also reliable enough to entertain me in my bouncer for 2 minutes while my mum stirred the pasta, or made up a bottle. I’m pregnant now with our first and we’ll be aiming for a similar age gap if we do have a second. Enjoy your lovely new baby x

Hi OP, similar age gap to you, DS was 5 when DD was born. Personally I found it easier second time round. I'd figured out a balance of being 'me' and being 'mum' and DS was old enough to play by himself for a bit if DD needed feeding/changing. When DS was a baby I struggled getting into a routine, but when DD came along we already had a routine going and she kind of slotted in with that (as much as a newborn can anyway!). DS is now 8 and DD is 3 and seeing them play together and how much they love each other is such a joy, the bickering not so much! Congratulations and hope all goes well.

Depends on the personalities to a greater extent.

I was knocked for six by dc1.
dc2 was a doddle in comparison - even though I had a 2 yr old to look after too.

I have a 5.5 year old and a 7 month old. It's awesome! The age gap is great. When my son is at school it's like having another maternity leave with my second. And their relationship with me and each other isn't competitive as they aren't really competing for the same things - elder one wants attention, play and conversation while younger one wants milk, cuddles etc. So it's not causing sibling rivalry.

Also I feel like it is easier in the sense that I have already made the seismic shift from non mother to mother over the last 5 years with my first. So now it's not a big psychological life changing thing to adjust to, it's just the practicalities and logistics of having another baby.

I understand your nerves because I felt the same. But it's gone better than I could possibly have imagined. You've got this OP!

Also have a 5 year age gap between DS1 and DS2. Like others found it easier 2nd time around. First baby was a massive learning curve for me, so was much more confident with baby2, just had to find a system (and stick to it) for dealing with life with a child you have to get to school, etc, and a baby that has their own timescale. Did a fair amount of BF in the school car park!

12 years between my two and the second is much easier and less of a shock to the system. She's a chilled baby though and that's purely luck.

It's less of a shock to the system. This time you know it'll be tough going for a while but you also know you can get through it and it's temporary.

Congratulations, and really, don't give it another moment's thought. Your entire life changes with DC1, you gain so much, but you also lose plenty of things too, your life has suddenly changed and if they don't sleep it can make you feel unhinged Second time round, loads easier even if you don't have an easier birth (and most do) you know what to expect, and your life has changed anyway and they sort of just fit in. I had DS1 in October and one year on, had DD1, easy birth, fab sleeper, no bother, I had two more 5 years later, and found that the older two were happy to watch the TV or play while I had a bit of a "top up" sleep on the sofa when the babies did. You really will be fine xx

I spent months panicking how to split the love from my first born to then having a second. Turns out the love doubles and even more so when you watch your first become a big brother/sister. You can't prepare your heart for that