24 RSVP Request for a party in mid March - Shall I be bothered?

[namechanging5]

Need some advice please.

I've received a party invite for DC via WhatsApp yesterday evening. It's for one of his best friends. The invite was sent in private to me by that child's mum. It sound like a fun activity and they are older kids so only need drop-off/pick-up by us.

The uncomfortable bit is that she made it clear a confirmation is needed for today by 6pm. I'm utterly baffled -and annoyed-. I've never ever received a party invite requesting people to give 24hrs rsvp given the party is over a month away.

Trying to be fair, I looked up the venue. If it's the party package she's aiming for, it provides for 8 kids and with additional participants to be added per head by request. I think if she's really keen to book quickly, the quota of 8 kids is surely not difficult to meet and does she really need to know if DC can go so urgently otherwise it halts her plan?

On our side, we have a tentative plan to meet some friends one of those weekends. We just proposed the dates to them last Sunday and don't expect to hear back from them today or even this week for their choice of date. I can send a chaser but I'm really reluctant to do. But I would feel bad that if DC is upset because it's a fun activity and it's for his best friend.

I replied that mum last night explaining about the tentative plan with our friends and said I will send a chaser but not very hopeful for a response today. She didn't even reply, only gave a thumb up to the post..🙄 I thought at least she could explain a bit why the need to rush me for an answer within 24hrs.

Please tell me if I am being unreasonable? Maybe there could be good reason she expects this?

You can either go or you can't, that won't change if you have 2 weeks to reply. You decide on a priority and agree to it.
I can't be doing with people faffing about, just RSVP yes or no and crack on.

She probably just has a discount voucher that expires! I had one for DD's last party.

Why can’t both events take place? The get together with friends and the party

I am not sure there was any ulterior motive. She explained in her original text that she wants to book a venue. Surely, you can make an executive decision to message your friend to say that one of the dates you proposed originally is not longer available, how do the other dates sound...

It does sound like the party won't go ahead that date if your child doesn't come. She said: "please can you confirm if he can come by 6pm tomorrow as we need to confirm the booking and make payment.", meaning she hasn't actually made the booking yet.

To me that would be more important to firm up than keeping multiple dates open for friends who might or might not come over. The fact that it has taken a year to find a date that you can see each other says that neither of you are that bothered.

You are basically saying "I'm not sure if DS can come to the party because we might have a better offer." That's rude, in my opinion. He's either free, or he's not free.

This.

OP, surely you realise what a nightmare it is organising a children’s prepaid event? Maybe she’s left it until the last minute, maybe she only has a tiny window to pay while she can afford it, maybe she has a voucher expiring. Whatever - stop making her life difficult - just say Yes, or No, within the time limit set. That’s all she’s asking of you.

Perhaps she needs to book the venue ASAP because they have other i retest for a party and they don't want to lose the venue.

I hate people that won't commit just in case they get a better offer. Or say "I don't know what we're doing yet". We'll make my invite the thing you're doing!

I agree. Otherwise it looks like you are saying 'yes he will come if nothing better comes along'.

Better to message your friends and say btw we can't do this date as little Johnnie has been invited to a party.

I agree with others - she’s told you why she needs to know. She needs to confirm the booking and pay. Payment will likely be based on the number attending, the ‘8’ is probably a minimum for a party booking but you’ll have a price per head depending on the total number.

Either you’re free or you aren’t.

I get what you're saying OP but from the party mum's point of view, it's a nightmare booking a party which is costly per head. She just wants to get it booked before the slot goes, but doesn't want to pay £15 or £20 for a kid that can't make it.

So many people are flaky about parties (not saying that's you OP) - there was a thread about it the other day, people not RSVPing, saying yes then not turning up, not replying then turning up, turning up with siblings, etc. Not such a problem in a church hall, but when it's pay per head it's a nightmare.

She has made a provisional booking and has a deadline to confirm. If several children are unavailable she won’t go ahead. It’s not difficult.

You're being unreasonable. She's asked you to reply within 24hrs. You've asked for an extention and given your reasons. She's HAS responded with an emoji. That's all that's needed. The 👍 means yes I acknowledge you, I'll wait till you hear back from your friend.
You're asking why she needs to know now. Well March isn't a long time ahead for an activity that needs planning and paying for.
Whilst we are expecting explanations for other people's plans, why can't you friend give you an answer yet about the weekend? Why are you reluctant to push them for an answer?

Nice for someone to have a response time. Politely say no to the invitation.

You didn't. No one said you did. One person ASKED if you did.
You did indicate that she hadn't replied. Most people would say she had, with the emoji meaning OK.

@NaughtybutNice77 I wasn't clear. I didn't ask for an extension, I said friends may not respond but I'd let her know either way today.

We don't chase people for confirming a meetup unless it's been left too long or to happen soon. People have other things going on and they need time to plan out things on their side and sometimes they wait for other people getting back to them for whatever too.

I might have judged from my own perspective, as I would have phrased things in a different way if just to make sure DC can attend. Hence it's good to ask and know I'm on my own for this.

I will confirm to her that DC will attend and propose other days to our friends.

@Clevs @JCLV , nothing to do with "better offer" here. Just a question of being halfway committed to the same date. To DC, the party is obviously a better way to spend the day.