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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would our lifestyle be like in U.K.

189 replies

Isitsconeorscown · 07/02/2024 10:06

On this wage-£37 grand a year-Dh
Me-possibly-£18/19 grand a year

We’d be in Cornwall and would have a mortgage of around a grand a month.

We have one primary aged dc

British, but living abroad and wishing to return.

Also, lifestyle on just Dh’s wage (I intend to work, but chronic illness and may not be immediately)

OP posts:
GlasgowGal82 · 08/02/2024 23:09

@Moreorlessmentallystable Where do you live in Scotland because I don't relate to your prices at all? I pay £180 per month for gas and electric in a three bed house where the heating is on most of the time. I commute 70 miles round trip by car once or twice a week, plus a couple of miles locally most days and a bit more at the weekends and I rarely spend more than £70 per month on fuel (this probably depends on how efficient your car is, do you drive a tank?). I suppose both those things don't change much with location across the UK, but hair cuts?! We pay £8 for a kids short back and sides at the barbers or about £12 for my husband. My eldest sometimes goes for a dry cut at the hairdressers instead and that's still just £16. And council tax for Glasgow in Band B is only £97 a month. £150 would almost cover the bill for a Band E house in Midlothian which currently has the highest CT bills in Scotland (you're maybe getting mixed up because the bill that comes from the council also has water charges, which are billed separately in England).

Chickitychick · 08/02/2024 23:15

Isitsconeorscown · 08/02/2024 23:06

@Chickitychick Where is he from?

South Africa but he is black South African and I’m white.

Fluffywhitecloudsinthesky · 08/02/2024 23:16

I agree with everyone saying the one salary would be tight but not impossible. Those saying I manage on £20k- do you not get any benefits/top-ups with kids? I find that hard to believe.

I live in a similar area and the problems are a) lack of rental properties full stop, I just googled Truro rental (Truro is quite desirable though) and there's two, just two three bed houses and both are over £1200 a month, so that's what you would be paying unless you can fit in a two bed b) likely need one or two cars and petrol, this is a lot extra than if you live centrally in a city c) high water rates d) high food prices and very few cheap markets like in the North (which I can't get over when I go there!) e) expensive to buy.

None of this is insurmountable, but most people have either two wages coming in or one and part time or one and benefits or some such combination, very few people these days have one wage and that's just it. I am a lone parent, so I do, but my wage is higher than your husbands and I wouldn't say I'm feeling flush right now.

If moving to be with family is the most important thing, then move once your husband has a job and you then move for work, could you live with family for a little while? Then you can get a part-time job, in whatever comes up.

If lifestyle in terms of eating out, takeaways and generally not having to be too worried about money is important, like having the heating on a lot, then that's not enough on his wage alone. With two of you it's a lot better, and would give the wiggle room for the extras that make life a bit more bearable (not stressing if something breaks, kids going on school trips, odd meal out somewhere reasonable, holiday once a year, treating the kids to stuff).

Sorry OP, but there's been rampant inflation and 37k isn't what is used to be. Those saying it's the average wage are not comparing like with like, or are saying not eating out ever or having a takeaway is fine. You just have to know what's most important for you.

AllTheChaos · 08/02/2024 23:23

Bigdoglittlecat · 07/02/2024 14:03

Derailing slightly - a £7 phone contract - is that a smart phone? What happens when it’s stops working / runs out of storage etc? Do you then have to spend £££ on a new handset? Genuine question as my 4 year old smartphone costs £25 a month with EE even though I have paid off the handset! I’m being ripped off…

OP where in Cornwall? Your mortgage will be the biggest factor. Inland is cheap, coastal areas you’ll struggle with a 150k deposit and ‘only’ paying 1k a month in repayments (even though it’s a good deposit) A lot of people on this thread say they’re fine on that income but in the next paragraph say ‘but we have a tiny mortgage’ - if you’re not forking out over 1k a month on a mortgage then of course you’ll be fine 🙄 but houses aren’t cheap, rates have gone up loads in the last 18 months so unless you are happy to live somewhere horrible like Roche or Par then the house is going to be the big problem.

Definitely contact EE about a cheaper deal! I got my new handset just over 2 years ago as the old one wasn’t covered by updates anymore, and so would no longer work (grrr). As soon as the 2 years to pay for it were up, I switched to SIM only, a deal based on my actual data usage (not the loads more EE thought I might somehow need) and it’s now £15 a month!

To op: Cornwall is expensive. Would your family there be willing to give you a breakdown of their core bills, like water and council tax and energy, to give you an idea of what you’ll face? Absolutely factor in the cost of public transport vs own cars vs housing costs too

Fluffywhitecloudsinthesky · 08/02/2024 23:25

The key thing to do IMO is get a broker to give you advice on how you would obtain a mortgage if you've been abroad for a while, the timeframes, the likely borrowing amount, and then match that to property you see online, price-wise. I thought I couldn't buy, frustratingly as I had the money but not high enough salary, but through my broker I found a lender and have had no problems keeping up with payments, especially as rental would be higher than mortgage for many properties right now. Get proper advice on this and it'll either look doable or not.

Spaghettieis · 08/02/2024 23:26

Isitsconeorscown · 08/02/2024 23:09

I’m so shocked, how much are people earning? Looking at jobs I don’t see even £60 grand jobs being advertised, what am I missing?!

Depends what kind of work you do surely? If you’re in a notoriously badly paid sector like care work then you’re not going to see £60k salaries but if you’re doing something professional/skilled you can achieve that even in Cornwall. It sounds like for yourself you’re looking at minimum wage roles or part time (Min wage FTE being just shy of £19k) which might limit your choices slightly though. As you’ve been out of the U.K. market might it be worth you both talking to recruiters?

VaccineSticker · 08/02/2024 23:30

Make sure you factor in private health insurance too.

Isitsconeorscown · 08/02/2024 23:32

@Spaghettieis I’m a qualified teacher. Dh is manuel work, but design and management now

OP posts:
AllTheChaos · 08/02/2024 23:37

Isitsconeorscown · 08/02/2024 23:09

I’m so shocked, how much are people earning? Looking at jobs I don’t see even £60 grand jobs being advertised, what am I missing?!

Tbh everyone I know in Cornwall is on a pretty low wage. A lot are on NMW or just over. Even those in better paid positions all seem to be at the £40k-£50k mark (which I know is a lot more than the UK average, but given Cornwall’s house prices that’s a low wage in comparison). The only one I used to know who lived there and earned well, worked in London and stayed with relatives during the week. Not really that doable with children! Maybe if you could get a remote role? Eg tutoring? The hourly cost of it is high to the user, but if it’s through a company then they will take off a lot, So don’t know what the actual pay to the tutors is like. Might be worth exploring given health issues though?

Fluffywhitecloudsinthesky · 08/02/2024 23:40

Does he have a job offer? If so, great, you could do supply, part-time, tutoring, something from home. If he doesn't, then that's a big problem because there isn't that much industry in Cornwall, he might find that one post that would suit him but a lot of professionals are looking to downsize from a certain age onwards and love to come to Cornwall and work three days a week...it's his job that would be difficult, not so much yours if you are flexible (but I hear you have health issues, which is hard for you). I dispute there are lots of 60k jobs in Cornwall, senior management in schools, colleges and so on possibly, civil service again higher up, but there's not the wealth of companies paying that in that area of the country. If he could WFH (so flexible job, based Bristol or London, only in the office once or twice a month) then that could also work.

Fluffywhitecloudsinthesky · 08/02/2024 23:41

@AllTheChaos crossed posts, our minds think alike!

AllTheChaos · 09/02/2024 00:00

Hah! Yes indeed, @Fluffywhitecloudsinthesky! That’s a good call re: Bristol etc., if Op’s DH can do something like that it could be perfect.

Growlybear83 · 09/02/2024 00:14

Isitsconeorscown · 08/02/2024 23:09

I’m so shocked, how much are people earning? Looking at jobs I don’t see even £60 grand jobs being advertised, what am I missing?!

Most people in really life don't earn Mumsnet salaries! 😆😆. Most people also manage to get by on much more average salaries and don't have to pay private school fees, private health insurance, hugely expensive overseas holidays several times a year, etc. really, OP, whilst I don't know about the cost of living in Cornwall, you can live quite reasonably on an average salary in England - we have always managed to live comfortably in south London on very average salaries and own our own house and run two cars.

Isitsconeorscown · 09/02/2024 00:24

@Growlybear83 Why is everyone so wealthy on mumsnet?! Is it made up?

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 09/02/2024 00:26

I honestly don't know. But the salaries and lifestyles that some people talk about here don't bear much reflection to my experience of life among ordinary people in the UK! 😆

Isitsconeorscown · 09/02/2024 00:32

@Growlybear83 Same! I know a real mixture of salaries, lower than stated ones and the people have pretty ok lives?!

OP posts:
Headdownbumup · 09/02/2024 03:38

Main employers in Cornwall include the NHS, the council and the unis (Falmouth and the Uni of Exeter also has a campus in Falmouth). If you sign up for their job alerts you will get an idea of the jobs going.

I know of people at the uni earning 60k plus, but they have decades of experience and are in senior management jobs.

Other than that tradespeople and cleaners are in demand as there’s a lot of retired people and they need help looking after their homes. Also minimum wage jobs in care home jobs and seasonal jobs in hospitality. Some retail jobs but shops keep closing down so that’s not very safe!

Spaghettieis · 09/02/2024 07:56

Isitsconeorscown · 08/02/2024 23:32

@Spaghettieis I’m a qualified teacher. Dh is manuel work, but design and management now

So you are looking at part time then? The min salary for a qualified teacher in England is £30k. It can go up to £60k and beyond if you are experienced and take on extra responsibilities: https://www.nasuwt.org.uk/advice/pay-pensions/pay-scales/pay-scales-england.html

ButteryBase · 09/02/2024 08:06

Don't know what people are talking about, your salaries are about what DH and I are on, and we have three children and manage a good life. Run a car, eat out occasionally, have a holiday once a year, can basically buy the food we want.

We don't go out every week, we don't drink, we don't have a brand new car or designer clothes or redecorate the house every year, so maybe some posters think that's a miserably poverty-filled lifestyle? We enjoy it, and I think it's more than possible to live with one child quite nicely on what you're both earning. Posters on here like to talk in ridiculous extremes, so don't take too much notice.

Checkeringin · 09/02/2024 09:02

I think many manage on those salaries (with both of you working). I assume you've looked at house prices in the area you are wishing move to? Mortgage/rent would be the main sticking point I expect.

Spaghettieis · 09/02/2024 10:37

ButteryBase · 09/02/2024 08:06

Don't know what people are talking about, your salaries are about what DH and I are on, and we have three children and manage a good life. Run a car, eat out occasionally, have a holiday once a year, can basically buy the food we want.

We don't go out every week, we don't drink, we don't have a brand new car or designer clothes or redecorate the house every year, so maybe some posters think that's a miserably poverty-filled lifestyle? We enjoy it, and I think it's more than possible to live with one child quite nicely on what you're both earning. Posters on here like to talk in ridiculous extremes, so don't take too much notice.

When did you buy your house and what is your mortgage per month?

THEDEACON · 09/02/2024 11:04

I would live very comfortably on that budget no idea if you would.

Spirallingdownwards · 09/02/2024 11:08

Where are you finding a family home for £320k in Cornwall out of interest?

Headdownbumup · 09/02/2024 11:18

@Spirallingdownwards I see loads of 3 bed homes come up around Truro for 300k ish on right move, around Redruth or Camborne prices are cheaper. The middle away from the coast is easy to find homes for £320k or under

Movinghouseatlast · 09/02/2024 13:05

Spirallingdownwards · 09/02/2024 11:08

Where are you finding a family home for £320k in Cornwall out of interest?

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/142633355#/?channel=RES_BUY

This is on the coast, near a bus stop to Looe, Plymouth and two secondary schools, walking distance to a primary school,

Check out this 3 bedroom semi-detached house for sale on Rightmove

3 bedroom semi-detached house for sale in Kellow Hill, Polperro, PL13 for £289,950. Marketed by Seasons Estate Agents Ltd, East Looe

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/142633355#/?channel=RES_BUY