Inspired by another thread but not a TAAT I don't think.
I've seen women post about them struggling with their husbands having close friendships with other women, and I've noticed on the whole the replies are overwhelmingly asking why is there a problem if you trust your husband, I have opposite sex friends and so does my husband and it's fine, I couldn't stand to be in a relationship with someone that jealous etc.
But if a woman posts about a friendship she has with a married man, the majority responses are telling her to back off, of course the wife would feel upset, don't play innocent etc etc.
AIBU to think this is incongruent? It could be the two types of posts attract different types of people to reply I suppose, but I feel like it's hints at... something interesting. I don't know what though my musing hasn't got that far 😂
Maybe a tension between a cool girl narrative and women are victims narrative, like maybe on average (not individually) when faced with an insecure woman we want to show we are less insecure (and therefore a better partner?) But when faced with the women who could be making us or one of friends insecure, it gets our back up and we need to let her know to bloody stop it?
Like looking down on promiscuous women, there is a dual narrative where women should be allowed to do whatever sexually but at the same time women who are promiscuous will often report not being treated well by other women.
This is meant to be pretty lighthearted, just wondering if anyone else has noticed it. Obviously plenty of people will only feel one way or another in my example, but my point is that as a user group there are two different messages.