Husband doesn’t show initiative

[Zok]

He doesn’t do chores without being asked
step by step guide ! Always needs reminding

gets impatient with the morning routine in the hallway when it’s time for everyone to put their coats on and kids are messing around

sometimes he has cleaned the whole kitchen

but the day to day routine he doesn’t get it

takes a child to have a bath then goes downstairs to play his computer

I then have to text him to come up and take child out of bath 10 min later

I told him to learn he says what if he’s “unable to learn” obv he’s being Sarcastic

I do call him at night to bring me a drink while bf as he’s on sofa as I can’t handle his snoring . He’s getting 7-8h of sleep a night while I’m on 3-4 broken sleep.

walks over clothes on floor
will take clothes to dryer after I told him but won’t remember to take them back

says as I’m home with the baby I need to show that I can handle the responsibility of having kids as he’s paying bills

says it’s not fair on him to pay bills and do
chores

sometimes he partly discusses it but usually blocks me on the chat when he doesn’t want to discuss it . It’s rude to leave the room when someone is talking

He's useless.

Run my dear. Run.

He sounds vile, lazy and has zero respect for you.

What an arse. I don't think he's being very supportive. Could you make him pay for childcare so you've got a break occasionally? I'm not keen on his attitude from what you say and I would consider the whole relationship carefully.

I am a bit confused why you are communicating via texts and phone calls. This sounds like a bad relationship all around if you can’t even make an effort to enter the room where another person is to talk to each other face to face.

If I’m up with the baby it’s easier to communicate that way sometimes

How old is this child he is leaving in the bath?!

When he visits his parents in Middle East his mum won’t let him take his plate to the sink !
try telling any Arab woman about these issues and they brush me off and laugh about it

the HV said when he does does something good I should tell him “I really appreciate that”
Due to my Aspergers I have become obsessed with giving out orders as I see he’s not able to think on his own about what needs doing

when we lived in his uncles flat he would get upset at end of day when he came home and place was messy but now that we live in a house I mostly own he’s less bothered he said.

he doesn’t tell me to cook or clean or demand things from me

I however can’t help it. I have fibromyalgia, dealing with chronic back pain and epistiotomy stitches and pnd. I had severe hormone issues when I used to get my period (PMDD)

other issues in our marriage : never opens window after he visits toilet - despite me mentioning it 10-20x in the past

child is 4. It’s more about the fact he doesn’t finish jobs he started.
he also reads the bedtime story too quickly and can’t wait to get back to his car racing game.

its like he’s disappointed in our marriage where we had kids straight away after the honeymoon which is true we never had much alone time

it was a match maker marriage when we were 24/25 where our families met in a room and they asked us do you like him/her. I said yes despite him having terrible breath.
Then 2 days after an engagement party. back in the U.K. I started his spouse visa application.

I tried to choose him based on qualities like he never had a gf before marriage , religious and would make my dad pleased
etc I thought he is good looking by Arab standards (tall blue eyes ) but I’m not sure I was ever attracted.

Hang on, are you the same woman who posted a few weeks ago about hating your husband because he is a low earner?
Well... there are obviously two sides to every story but let's park his qualities at the moment and look at what you said:

• He doesn't demand any housework from you
• You are "obsessed with giving orders"
• He sleeps on the couch because you can't stand his snoring
• You communicate (give orders?) via a text message because it is "easier"
• You sought out a man on the basis of him being religious and pleasing your father. None of the other qualities you apparently now want form the marriage were considered.

You can come and post here as much as you like (and I believe your other threads have been deleted) but the answer is still the same. It is a broken marriage and both of you seem as bad as each other.

Do you keep posting, slightly changing your situation looking for different answers? It's disingenuous at best if it's you.

He’s tidying now but when I question why he’s put something somewhere he says not to talk to him and stop arguing and should respect that he’s tidying
why does he stress himself inviting relatives

THE SURRENDERED WIFE that a pp mentioned sounds like something out of the Stepford Wives. If I did what the author suggests and leave my brain at the front door when I got home then I would be even more unhappy because I'd be living in a dustbin and we would have the bailiffs round.