What excuse for work?

[NotT123]

I’m really struggling with my mental health at the moment. I started a new job 2 months ago and haven’t taken any time off even though I’ve been poorly, my kids have been unwell I have severe anxiety anytime I have to take time off work (always been this way since my first job as a teen).

i have an appointment (I don’t want to give details about in here) and I’ve been debating for weeks to ask for time off but in my worry of whether to ask or not time has flown by and there is no time to ask anymore. I don’t want my new work to know about this and the day is coming soon and I don’t know what to do, I know I must go to this and in the scheme of things one day will not matter as they can easily cover me and won’t be a huge deal for them but I’m worrying about this to the point of having panic attacks at night. I do t know what to do I’m thinking I should call in sick but I don’t know what to say or I should say my child is unwell (which he is but he’s still been going to school as everyone at this time of year has a little sniffles etc, he’s not got high temp). I just don’t know what to do.

im worried they will find out. Can they somehow ask for proof my child was off school?

Say you have a very personal medical appointment

Personal medical appointment, you've managed to get a cancellation hence the late notice.

@maddening they won’t let me have time off now as it’s less than a weeks notice. From what I’ve seen of others they’ve always said best to pull a sickie rather than ask for time off. It’s won’t be private either everyone will find out as it’s that kind of workplace.

@DNLove they will want to see evidence and I’ll have to fill out forms etc.

Go with pp that a cancellation came through and you really can't risk missing it.

Then you know your answer, ring in sick.

Don't lie.

You have a hospital appointment /urgent appointment and need Thursday morning off.

Honestly, they won't really care, other than wanting to know you are OK. And the answer to that is you don't want to talk about it / you won't know til after the appointment.

If you don't want to call in sick and you've left it too late to book it off, can you take it as unpaid leave?

Just say "I have a formal.apppintment I need to attend and don't have any choice, please may I take the day as annual leave or authorised unpaid leave. I am sorry for any inconvenience, it's a private matter and I got worried about asking. Please don't ask me for details as it's very personal".

If it's too hard to say, even scripted, then write it down in a note and pop it in an envelope that says "Private and Confidential".

I'm sorry you are struggling with your anxiety and hope you have the help and support you need.

Please don't go down the fib route, it will provide you with more anxiety in the longer term.

Good luck.

Telling them I have a formal appointment fills me with more dread as I will have to make an appointment to see the senior manager then speak to them. They won’t be understanding at all.

How likely is it they'll figure it out? For example if it's a job interview, it might come up during references or informal chat if it's that kind of industry.

Anything else, what are the odds of someone seeing you out and about, or on the school run etc.

Worst case scenario, call in sick if you must and say you've been throwing up .

D&V then. Can’t be disproved.

What does D&V mean?

You can self certify if it’s just a one day fake absence.

You’ve created a lot of unnecessary hassle for yourself though! Why did you keep putting off telling them?

It’s only left you in a worse position because now you have to lie and you could get sacked if they found out. If you didn’t want them to know the intricate details of your appointment then you should have just booked a days annual leave.

Diarrhoea and vomiting

Just say it's an urgent medical appointment, what details will they ask for?

I think you'll have to call in sick on the morning of the appointment now if it's too late to ask for time off. Just call in and say you have a stomach bug, up all night vomiting etc, everyone gets them, they can't punish you for being ill. But next time just ask for time for the appointment in enough time, it's normal everyone needs to do this sort of thing occasionally

Honestly op you're making this into a much bigger deal than needs be.
If you really can't request the time off for the appointment now because you've dithered for so long then yes D&V Is probably your best bet. You can legally self certify for up to 7 days so they can't force you to provide a medical note.
But you will be lying, when there was no need in the first place.

Just say you need a blood test.

Migraine