To give DD less money for lunch

[Justrolledmyeyesoutloud]

She is in year 7, takes a very basic packed lunch (filled roll, apple and a chocolate bar or cake), also has £10 on Parentpay to buy a drink and extras.
Found her roll in her bag uneaten so will have to throw it out. She bought herself a bacon roll and some waffles today.
Just had a chat with her about making good choices but don't want to food shame her.
Any advice? As l am writing this, am thinking £2 a day is too much on top of a packed lunch. Should l reduce it to £5?

This could work. There are a few days here and there when DD loves the school dinners so that's what she has (2/3 days a week) , on the other days she has packed lunch.

I expect she wanted to do what her friends were doing for lunch. Talk to her.

DD gets £40 put into her lunch account every month, so £10 a week. School lunch is £3.50 a day for a main, drink and pudding and break time snacks are 70p-£1.50.

The school publishes the lunch menu online for the upcoming month so DD can decide how she wants to budget her money over the month eg if one week there is no school lunches that she wants but the following week she wants school lunch every day then she can spend nothing by taking packed lunches for the first week then spend £17.50 in week two.

Generally it works out that she has school lunch a couple of times a week and packed lunches the other days. On days she takes a packed lunch she will buy a snack/drink at break using her lunch money and on days she buys lunch she will take a snack/drink from home to maximise her budget.

We have built this up through secondary school - she's in Yr 9 now so she just gets the £40 put in every month but we started in Yr 7 by putting £10 a week into her account on the understanding that packed lunches were the default but if she had forgotten her lunch/didn't have time to make it then she would have money in her account to get a school lunch as well as being able to get a snack/drink at break but if I found out she was wasting food by taking a packed lunch and then buying food anyway then the lunch account would have been reduced and packed lunch would have been her only option.

My DD takes a sausage roll, crisps, caramel wafer and buys one thing a day, fruit and vegetables happen at home 🤣 she spends about £1.50 a day

My son takes a packed lunch every day but also has money on parent pay. He's recently stopped eating breakfast before school and prefers to buy something at break time and then eat his lunch later. At the moment that's two hash browns and a blinking Radnor Fizz!

Would she agree just a packed lunch 2 days a week and just a school lunch 3 days? It would still be about £10 a week.

My Foster son has a cooked breakfast every morning so 2 x scrambled eggs, toast, plum tomatoes and either sausages, bacon or hash browns with it and fresh orange juice. He doesn't eat a lot for college lunch. He doesn't like queueing for the hot food. He often just buys a chicken and salad wrap as only a small queue for this and an oat bar. He takes an apple or a banana with him from home and a full water container. He eats a healthy snack like hummus and carrot sticks when he gets home then his cooked meal later in the evening. He does a lot of sports so needs to eat plenty of protein and vitamins. He only has £15 on his card each week. He's in over 4 lunch times.

If it's any comfort, DC1 was like this for the first few months of Yr7. I think it was a novelty thing and also tied in with the uncertainty of being in a new, big school so, if all of the people you were with went to the canteen, you did too as otherwise you worried you might not find them again plus exploring new friendship groups. She's now in Yr9 and, other than when she forgot lunch one day and when a friend forgot her entire school bag (so lunch and payment card), I don't think she's bought anything all year.
At about this stage, we had a chat about the money side of it. Not just what Shs was spending but what were people she was with doing. It was interesting as a couple of people had apparently had their parents tell them they were spending too much, one never bought anything as they didn't have any money, a couple rarely bought things. As well as saying that I thought it was a waste of money & unhealthy, I focussed on the friendship dynamics. How did the person who didn't have any money feel? What about those whose parents were asking them not to spend as much? By the summer term, it had evolved so that on a Friday they all bought lunch in the canteen but for the rest of the week they took packed lunch.

Thank you, you’ve put a fresh perspective in this for me and I will be a bit more relaxed because all of this makes sense.

My DD is yr 8, started yr 7 taking a packed lunch twice a week but she started not eating it and hardly anyone else takes a packed lunch at her school. I would give her a set amount a week, if she spends it all then packed lunch the rest of the week. Some days she'll make very unhealthy choices but if the rest of her meals are balanced it's not the end of the world and she should get it out of her system when she's a bit older. My DD had pasta with tomato sauce yesterday for example, and a lot of days buys a chicken salad bap

You don't have to make talking to her about it food shaming, I'd be more focused on food wastage. Tell her it costs a lot of monet to keep wasting perfectly good food.
My 2 take a packed lunch and I put £10 a month on parent pay so if they want a treat they can get one, apparently a chocolate brownie is 70p. If they want a meal from school they tell me in advance so I don't waste food making lunch to be thrown away.

Yes this, mine tend to take a packed lunch as the line can be so long sometimes. But they are free to get extras if they want too. I always ensure they have credit on their account. I don’t see the issue.

My kids are 10 and 13. Used to just let them eat what they wanted for lunch from the school canteen and topped up when they ran out. It was ridiculous the amount they went through, it’s the drinks I think, the canteen charges more because of the sugar content. Sometimes they were spending £7 a day 😱
Now, they get £12 a week to spend how they like, but when it’s gone, it’s gone. They make their own packed lunches and have worked out ways to have what they want from school and a couple of packed lunches in between. Good budgeting lesson 😊

A drink can be 1pound plus. Other day boy had a burger, cookie and drink £3.50- shocking prices. FSM is 2.50. You can get a meal , a dessert and small drink for this but realistically most pupils do not choose this