I’m scared of everyone

[Puzzleball]

I was like this as a child, then I became more confident in my teens and twenties, although I still struggled with self-esteem issues and feeling very anxious especially in an unfamiliar environment.

Since I’ve had my son (now 5 years) I’ve come to the realisation I’m probably ASD and ADHD, so I’m awaiting an assessment.

I’m literally scared all the time, I fear confrontation and so I avoid even looking at people for fear of upsetting them.

I get scared picking my son up from school (and dropping him off) but mostly picking up as I have to stand around with the other parents and I’m always worried the teacher will want to speak to me about something and it makes me feel really on edge. So much that I’m almost in tears and shaking at pick up time.
My son is also suspected ND and is having a few behaviour problems at the moment/trouble regulating his emotions, so I have been spoken to more lately.
One parent made a comment about DS pushing in the line in front of her son , even though that time he really didn’t as I saw what happened, it was her son who pushed in.
However, I couldn’t say anything, it was like someone had pulled my tongue out.
She didn’t directly address me, it was more of a passive aggressive comment about how it wasn’t nice that people push in.
That comment is going round and round in my head, even though it happened yesterday morning.
It happens in other areas of my life too, with work colleagues in the past, even friends.

I’m currently unemployed and claiming universal credit as I really can’t work. I’ve had quite a few bad experiences which have made my anxiety and paranoia much worse.

As a child I was so timid, scared and shy all the time. My mum says if people came round I would hide behind the sofa and if we went anywhere I’d just hang onto mum and would never interact with other children or adults.

I have this ongoing fear of someone just coming up to me and shouting in my face.

I just don’t know what to do. It’s making all interactions so hard and I’m constantly feeling sick with anxiety at the thought of confrontation or even speaking to people.

I think you need to see your GP and give them a print out of your post.
They can help you with medication and therapy. You don’t have to live like this

The more you hide away, the more it feeds your anxiety. You need to find a job for a few hours just to raise your confidence and expose yourself to new people and situations. This is no way to live.

do you think it could be autism? How longs the wait btw?

(i have same problems as you and i think im autistic)

I also have ADHD/ASD and am exactly like this. I’ve found doing exposing myself to situations like this gradually very helpful. Starting off small so to speak. So for instance if someone is confronting someone else about something , standing and listening and not running off because I feel awkward . In other words getting out of my comfort zone in a safe way. Maybe practicing what to say before an event etc sometimes helps me too. I do understand how you feel and this might not work for you, but it’s helped me a bit.

Do you like reading? Dr Brewer has an excellent book Unwinding Anxiety, available from Amazon for a tenner.

You need a core of people there for you. Then all else is much easier. A husband, your mother, a sister, a church friendship, even be it just one

This!

I'm a complete introvert OP, could have written your post. Have diagnosed anxiety and depression and can dread meeting anyone. If left to my own devices, I would just never see anyone probably.

But I've always had a job, mostly people facing and challenging, that gets me out of the house and interacting with people. It can be tough at times, but it's usually a comfort to be able to plaster on a facade and go and do a days work. And with that comes confidence in my own personal life as well.

My work has honestly saved me from what I could have been which would have been a sad, anxious ball of mess. Definitely try and look for work that will have you engaging with people again.

This is probably so unhelpful but I just want to give you a big hug

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. You definitely have anxiety symptoms that are negatively affecting you. Please see the doctor. Some kind of anti-depressent might be offered (though these don't always work for everyone) but would you be willing to talk to a counsellor? if it's about going out you could do it on Zoom etc? I hope you can talk to your friends and family as well. Is there someone who could take your child so you could have a few hours/ day to relax and self care? I wish you well.

All of the posts that I have just read describe me to a T. If I could write and describe myself better I would have written all of these things. I always thought it was just anxiety, I have also been like this since childhood. I recently did an online test for ADHD, and it said that there was a strong possibility that I did have ADHD. So far I haven't done anything about it. I have tried just about every anti anxiety meds there are, but nothing has really helped. All the advice given here has helped, and it helps to know that others struggle with their anxiety too, although I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope all the posters posts that I have just read can find inner peace somehow. Kind thoughts to all.