What kind of person becomes head of PTA

[Ohwerewatchingfrozenagainarewe]

Would you say, in general?

I was surprised about someone I loosely know, when they told me they were, I really wouldn’t have them down as being that type, but maybe I being far too judgemental!

An organised person.
Can persuade people nicely.
Can build and manage a happy team.
Good communicator
Listens to others.
Has good connections in the community/businesses

I'm shocked, shocked I tell ya, that women who offer their time, skills and energy to support their school and community are portrayed negatively way by the media. Any woman who does anything to help out is a busy body, Karen, self-important, Queen Bee, School Gate Mum, bitch, SAHM failure, Too Much Time On Her Hands, Amanda-from-Motherland or nosy parker.

There's a special place in hell for the parents (mainly dads) who stand in the coffee stall queue at school fairs moaning about how disorganised / over-priced / badly managed they are while never lifting a finger to help themselves.

In a small school it’s often reception parents who offer to help and quickly find themselves running it. Me and another Mum put our hands up to join the committee in reception and by October were co-chairing as those previously involved dropped away. Was just after covid and a nightmare trying to organise a Christmas and summer fete etc with no one who had done it or previously attended one to help. Turned out in the end but we both burned out and now in year 2 she’s not involved and I’m class rep for my younger son who’s in the preschool.

In many schools it’s not a clique or exclusive - more people avoiding you in the playground so they don’t get roped into helping. We organised lovely events the kids loved and successful fundraising to pay for lots of lovely enrichment but it was hard work and pretty thankless.

Primary school days are long over for me, but when I was there and was involved, our PTA heads were lovely human beings. Really passionate, hard working, and patient. Nothing like the sexist clichés I'm afraid.

I am in general full of admiration for the parents who are on the PTA. Between work and life I can't seem to manage a piss up in a brewery. Let alone a school disco 🤣 but I do try and support them as much as possible by donating more if I can, help out where possible.

I do wonder if there's a correlation between how "good" the school is and how effective the PTA is.
My daughters school headmaster/general teaching staff are notoriously unfriendly, their welfare policies are diabolical and in general, just rude. I know several of the parents on the PTA who are all brilliant and really passionate about putting nice things on for the kids, noone attends or helps with events and nothing much seems to happen.

My sons school teaching staff are the total opposite, really warm, transparent and there's just much more engagement with parents in general. The events at the PTA put on are attended in droves and are a great laugh, and considerably more money is raised.
That's my armchair conclusion 🤣

At my DCs school there was a clique of mums who had been to the school themselves decades before and considered themselves, and a few selected cronies, to have a god given right to be the PTA.

I kept well clear and we just gave the head master a cheque from time to time.

When my chikdren were in primary, the PTA school bought:
Outdoor play equipment, (climbing frames etc) and maintained it for the outdoor play areas
bought reading books
bought laptops
Refurbed the reception class with new furniture.
bought a new projector for the main hall, bought cooking equipment including cookers and set up a cooking aftershool club for families.
Bought sports kit and equipment including new goal posts.

School budget doesn't cover this stuff.

Of the 4 primary schools my kids have been to, this describes the PTA chair in all of them.

I did struggle through 5 years of being the preschool committee secretary and led a Rainbows group for 2 years, so I feel like I've done my time with volunteering, but I admire anyone who is willing to give up their time to help out.

Having said all that, at my dc's current primary school, there are no fundraising events at all (apart from a very occasional charity event). At the start of each school year they email all the parents and ask for a donation to the school instead. It is so much nicer for everyone. Their last school had weekly(!) bake sales and a school fete every 6 weeks. Most parents have enough going on without all that as well.

I only have experience from the independent sector but in Prep school
the chair is someone who gave up a high flying career and now wants to direct proceedings and people as too much time on their hands and too big an ego to go to waste. definitely applied 3 times, in each case had continued working until the DC were school aged then 'retired' from city jobs.
In high schools, the pta equivalent was led by parents with local business/community links and great team leaders.

A busy body 😬

Thinking about our PTA, current chair works ft in a corporate job and took on the role as interim chair when the previous person left.
She's organised, personable and committed to raising money for the pupils.
I'm on the committee and we're all different but want to support the school. I don't like approaching businesses for donations but can cope with a busy tombola stall for example!

In my kids schools it was sahms who were bored and enjoyed being at the centre of things. Treated it like a club, and honestly quite wearisome and self important.

I'm the PTA Chair - what sort of person am I?
For me, my DD started at a tiny village school where we knew no-one. All her preschool friends had gone to different schools. I was determined to become part of the school community & not hide behind my phone in the playground, as much as I really wanted to!
So I joined the PTA as a member to get to know other parents & get involved in making the school & experience better for the students.
Within a year I became Chair as the previous one was moving away & unsurprisingly no-one stepped forward. I've been Chair ever since (currently in my 4th year) & unless we get some super enthusiastic new parents I envision I'll be Chair until my DS leaves (only 6 more years... 🥴) unless the PTA folds (very real possibility as we've had hardly any new members for years).
I do work PT atm, but most of the other committee members work full-time. I'm most definitely not a Queen Bee.
It's really nice to hear some positive comments from people on MN about it tbh - it is a very interesting but thankless job a lot of the time, but seeing how much difference we can make to the school & how happy the children are makes it worthwhile.

the heads and indeed the members of my DC's school PTAs were to a (wo)man decent people. I never joined - partly due to work, mainly due to my general misanthropy and grumpiness - but I am really grateful to those who did. On the rare occasion where I thought something might have been done better differently I reminded myself that anyone could join and put their twopenn'orth in to change things if they felt that strongly, and I kept schtum.

Someone that steps up because no one else will and they don't want to see it fold!

in my experience? A busybody with too much time on their hands!

I think it’s a very valuable lesson against stereotypes.

I have a good friend who is head of the PTA. She is very energetic and full of ideas, very hard working, very sociable, but in no way that stereotypical Queen Bee type. More of a busy bee to be honest!

I don’t think it’s an accurate reflection of people who are in the PTA at all. It’s generally really organised people who want to raise funds for their child’s school. It’s not a popularity thing in the slightest.

You’re the one being bitchy here I’m afraid, OP!

(TBF I would never do the job - because I do not have good organisation skills!)

My friend works full time, has two children and is divorced. She’s definitely not a busy body with time on her hands.

I am in the PTA but not the chair. The ones I have worked with are wonder women who are willing to sacrifice their free time to put on great events for the kids and raise funds for the school. They are people who are organised, personable and motivated to do something for the good of others. We need more volunteers everywhere.

I guess the stenotype is of some pushy petty bullying trophy wife

I think the reality is probably an already very busy woman who sees stuff that needs to be done and does because it needs to be done

I'm probably in danger of becoming one which is why I plan on running to and from the school gates without making eye contact

In my experience it’s someone who has the time to do it, I was asked to join the PTA but I work full time and I just couldn’t commit to it, happy to send a tenner in when they’re fundraising though.

I wouldn’t over think it OP. When you are at the stage, I’m telling you now you’ll be grateful for people like the head of the PTA, that have the time and willingness to take on the role!!

It’s not running a country but it’s hard work! I think judge less and appreciate more is what I’d say to you!

I did 1 yr of PTA for each of my kids. It was a lot of fun and I met some really nice people.

Our chair runs her own business in a qualified field and is a lovely person. Only one of our committee of 10 is a SAHM, the rest of us work full time. Half of us are people who have moved to the town.