How are we all navigating pre-teens

[pushingthrough]

2 DDs 11 and 9.

We are a pretty open family, talk about most things, I think im balanced.

Both are in competitive sports so essentially have 2 groups of friends, school and sport and due to this they can be around slightly older girls 11-13.

Recently we have started dealing with the girls asking for alot of what i consider not age appropriate things like nails, lashes, phones etc.

Ive noticed some of their friends have nose piercings, vape and have phones etc so they are being introduced to that world by their friends and whilst i firmly believe its at a far to young age im also aware this is reality so trying to balance the 2.

Makeup is a big thing and im not a hard no on this so the girls do have makeup, skin care was a huge topic this Christmas and the brands they asked for were just not appropriate for their skin, drunk elephant, byoma. I explained all this and researched and found a brand called bubble specifically designed for young skin and they were really happy.

DD11 was asking about blowjobs as she had been told by another slightly older girl. Im trying not to freak the fuck out about it all but its all too much too soon.

YANBU this is normal pre teen years
YABU pull them back from these girls and be firmer

I’d speak to the sports coaches or whoever is in charge when these older girls are having such conversations with your daughters and let them know this is happening. This is completely inappropriate. What sport is it where the girls are left alone for these kind of chats? My son is that age and plays sports but I can’t imagine when he’d have such a conversation with a younger or older boy.

I know I’ve ignored the rest of your post but the above would be my first port of call.

I feel your pain OP I also have a DD (11) although she isn't into make up or skin care yet, the amount of things she tells me about her friends already vaping, belly button piercings, declaring their love for boyfriends, announcing they are trans is crazy!

I'm just hoping that she will keep opening up to me about these things so I can guide her away from doing them herself!

Yes im glad they are chatting to me about it and hope we can just steer them in the right direction.

I have DDs 12 and 9, the youngest is still very much like a child, not jnto makeup etc apart from occasionally nail varnish and lip balms.
Eldest is 13 in April and yes very into the skincare, makeup etc. I generally let her experiment with things but she has asked about a bellybutton and nose piercing and it's been a hard no until she's at least 16. She has told me some girls in school vape but she thinks it's stupid thank god, we talk to her about how drugs & smoking are so unhealthy and so far so good!
The sex stuff seems inappropriate for your DDs age but also good that she can communicate with you about it, keeping communication going is the key I think

For makeup its not a big deal i started wearing makeup young . You can get her neutral shadow pallets with colours like brown . and nude lipsticks and some good brushes and clear lip gloss and some eyeliner. She can wear concealer 2She is still growing up. And for your younger daughter some lip balms are fine get here a few and maye a few spollies and some spf and clear mascara. Btw they may be bad at applying makeup first but give it time.Give her nails but not acrylics if your so worried.Get her fake short ones. and for the hone your daugter is 12 .Thiss is the modern world . Just get here one even if is cheap. And askin about bj is not tha big . Children her age may want to know about them thins an ust eduate your children for fucks sake.
Its not the end of the world and any parents who tries to keep there child there little baby forever is stupid.