DS keeps telling me he's being hit by another boy

[ohnoohnoohnononon]

My DS is 3 and a half and for the last few months, he keeps telling me - every day - that he's being hit by the same boy.

He says he is scared to stand up for himself or get the teacher because the boy is bigger than him.

I'm thinking about speaking to the boy's mom about it. What do I say ? Is this the right plan of action ? The teachers have never mentioned anything to me about a problem and are saying my DS is doing really well and enjoying nursery and getting stuck in.

I'm not happy and think I should speak to the mom.

Speak to nursery not the parent

Mention it to the teachers first. I wouldn't advise approaching a mother of a 3 year old. Teachers should be on the look out for this stuff, if it is happening, not very good if they aren't !!

I feel like the nursery aren't going to do anything about it. They haven't so far !

What's wrong with approaching the mother ? The child is 4.

Why would your first thought not be to actually ASK nursery what’s going on? Bizarre.

The nursery needs to know so they can keep your child safe and look out for any further incidents. They can also deal with the parent if necessary. I'm not sure that speaking to the parent is the best approach as there is no evidence yet that it's happening so they may not believe you or may get defensive. And even if they had a word with their child given that's he's four I'm not sure it would stop the hitting happening if that is what is happening.

Don't talk to the mum. Talk to the teachers.

Children do see things in their own little way.

I was once greeted by dd2 telling me that "Mrs C had hit her and shouted at her."
I have on very good authority that what had actually happened, was dd2 had been taken to the toilet. She decided to run back without waiting for her teacher, and Mrs C was busy sorting toys out and dd2 ran into her. Mrs C said, "Now dd2, you know you shouldn't run here."

It was true in dd2's eyes, but not the real story.

Tell the teachers what is being said. If they haven't spotted it then they'll look out if they're together and see if they can spot it happening. It may be that there's some mutual shoving going on. It could be that your ds is being hit, or it might be that he's interpreting something as being hit, like my dd. It's also not unheard of for a child to blame the same child when it's different ones (again my dd2, I remember her telling me a story about the dreadful thing that J had done AGAIN today. Only thing was J had spent the day in A&E, where I had been too with ds. When I pointed this out she thought and said "it may have been someone else but J would have done it if J had been there".), it's also possible the other boy is being sneaky and making sure it's done when no one is watching.
The teachers will encourage your ds to come and talk to them if it happens as well.

What do you think the other parent will say? "Yes my child has been hitting your dc for months"

Speak to the teacher first, they'll observe and take action from there. The other parent are also more likely to listen to them than you.

Nothing good ever comes from bypassing the school/nursery and speaking to the parent. It goes against all advice.

She's going to defend her son.

It will be a shit show.