Holiday night out

[ArtisticMeeg]

This happened a while ago now but another thread reminded me of it.

I was on holiday with one friend and we had gone out for a night drinking/clubbing. I generally am not hugely into partying like that but can have a good time once in a while. Friend is much more into long crazy nights out. We've been friends a long time so are both aware of what the other is like and do normally compromise well.

So we were on this night out and it had got to around 3am and the club was closing. This is later than I normally stay out but it was a good night so I was happy. While waiting for a cab back to the hotel, friend got chatting to a group of drunk men who invited her/us to another club with them. I said I did not wish to do that. Firstly because it was already 3am and I was tired, and secondly because I don't know these people and they were suggesting we went in a car with them and they were all clearly drunk. Me and friend started arguing and she said she was going with them whether i came or not and if I went back to the hotel I was being a bad friend "leaving her" alone. I said but we were about to go to the hotel together (in the cab queue) and so why was I the one leaving her? She was the one one changing the plan and leaving me to go back alone now! Anyway after trying to convince her to go back she just refused to talk to me anymore.

So anyway I refused to get into a car with these drunk men and I got a cab back to my hotel. She went with them. Of course I was worried, but short of manhandling a 35 year old woman into a cab in not sure what else I could have done? I wasn't prepared to put my life at risk getting in a car with drunk people driving who could be anyone.

She was fine and came home at 7am. We both pretty much forgot about it the next day. She just occasionally jokes about the time I "left her" by herself. I don't bother arguing about it though as she has her opinion on it and I have mine.

So was I being unreasonable to "leave" her to go with these men despite it being a very bad idea and potentially putting myself at risk as well?

No, as you well know. You had a plan to go back at 3am. She wanted to do something very dangerous - get into a car with drunk men, strangers, at 3am. You were right not to put yourself at risk. At least she didn't invite them back to your hotel room!

I hope you respond to her snarky little comments with an eyeroll. And a "yes, I refused to be driven by drunk strangers at 3am. If you'd decided to walk off a cliff I also wouldn't have followed you".

Your friend is the one at fault here, not you. You’re not her chaperone. If she wants to get into a car with a bunch of awful pissed up randoms, that’s her problem, not yours. She was being really selfish expecting you to follow her around until dawn. She’s a grown up.

She's a grown woman and you couldn't stop her from going with these men, she's massively in the wrong.

I think she probably knows what she did was quite dangerous and could have ended badly for her but feels the need to bring it up because she's secretly still annoyed that you didn't go with her.

I'm petty and would probably say "Remember that time you put yourself in danger and went to a nightclub with a car full of strange drunk men!" 🙈

You weren't in the wrong. Stop feeling guilty. She sounds reckless to say the least.
Its a you wouldn't follow her off a cliff because she felt like it senario...
Are you that suited for another holiday?

Oh don't worry we don't go on holiday anymore. 😁
We have the kind of relationship now we're a bit older that we are both aware of each others habits and limitations and so we just go for nice lunches and dinners and have other people we holiday with!