College issues for son

[Fulabi]

My sons tutor keeps mentioning about these students get withdrawn for being late but its apprently "3 strikes and youre out". I thought it was maybe a threat they told my son to try to get him in earlier but my older son got kicked out in September or October 2022 for being late, he only had a month if that to settle in and they just withdrew him, just came in to college as normal, they told him, no warning, he's been withdrawn from the course and he refused to leave because he thought it was unfair then security had to come to escort him out. Luckily with my younger son, the one currently at that college, I take him, luckily I have managed to make it to college on time but a few times its like we leave the normal time but traffic delays so it gets stressful because he is worried that he wont make it on time.

The rules are a bit strict and causing him loads of worries because he might have to go next year for 1 more year to that college and worried we might be late. He was late once or twice when starting and they pulled him up for that so he worries if he is late again then he will end up at home doing nothing. He doesnt like college apart from his mates there, he was discussing heights then he was saying "im 5 foot something" then his tutor told him off accusing him of saying "I dont give 5 fucks" then I got sent to the boss who rang me. I think calling me is a bit childish too, hes in college, not school. He is not happy there really. He and I just dont want him to be kicked out as he will be at home back to doing nothing, which he was for a year after finishing school last academic year then in the summer we encourged him to go to college so he enrollled and started in september.

Can he speak to a tutor and find out if it’s 3 strikes in general or 3 strikes in one year as that might help him relax a little.
I found college to be exactly like school, if there was a break in class and people were late returning then the lecturer would make them stand outside until they were ready to speak to the students. They also had a strict late policy and a phone in/ email when unwell. It’s get different to university when you’re given a lot more freedom to make the choices.

Is there a possibility of him moving to a different college for a final year?

Well that would be my son out of college if he has those rules. Don’t get me wrong he has only been late by a few minutes but it’s happened a fair bit. That’s an incredibly harsh rule, doesn’t teach anything if I’m honest. There’s one bus a day to college. If traffic is bad what are the kids going to do. They’ve no control.

What about kids who cone by chartered bus?

Good on the college.

Phoning home is fine, why wouldn't you want to know if your son is misbehaving? College has to be run more like a school now because students are so immature.

The rules are a bit strict……if he finds the expectation to arrive on time for lessons “a bit strict” then he’s going to be in for a shock when he starts work!

Arriving late disrupts the entire lesson for every other learner.

Rubbish- how do students learn?

What do they clarify as late?

I think if you have a student who arrives at 8.59am everyday for a 9am class who could get there earlier they have to understand the risk of any delays makes them late.

If they arrive by bus everyday at 8.30am and it's the only bus they can get and they arrive at 9.15am a few times due to accidents then kicking them out is completely ridiculous as it's not within their control.

If there's a train strike and trains are cancelled and you have a reduced service and, again, the pupil is normally in good time it seems harsh.

If a pupil gets a train to the station 15 minutes walk away that arrives at 8.45am and could get an earlier one and they are late frequently it's a different matter.

I don't think a one size fits all approach will work here but I don't think it's ok for students to think turning up daily at 9.05am for a 9am class is ok. (Not suggesting that's your ds but you'd be surprised how many people think timekeeping is negotiable!)

if leaving at the "normal time" makes him stressed, maybe the "normal time" should be earlier? honestly, people are not late for work, why would they think it is acceptable in college? If I was late for work 3 times, my job would be at risk.

@Dotchange Not very well if the Ops son is in the class and they're having to put it up with his behaviour.

College is optional. Yes, you have to be in some form of learning until the end of the school year you turn 18, but that doesn't mean a college is obliged to put up with certain behaviours or attitudes to learning. If you choose to be at a college and choose not to conform to expected attendance then they can choose to un-enroll you. This is contrast to schools that are expected to tick every box to show they have done what they can to keep a child in mandatory schooling.

I can't comment about whether that if the situation your youngest son is in. This is where you/he would be best to have a conversation with the college to explore his current situation.

Your older son, on the other hand had started poorly, which is when people would normally be expected to show most willing/be most keen to be there. I'm less surprised about their stance towards this. The fact that security needed to be used to remove him is not great, is it?

The rules are a bit strict? If I'm habitually late at work then I'd be pulled up on it. The 3 strikes rule has worked hasn't it, it's made you and him sit up and realise they are serious.

Honestly OP, the college is doing the right thing. You need to change the 'normal time' you leave the house to earlier and teach him that being somewhere on time is basic respect. Arriving late regularly and interrupting the class / teaching doesn't respect anyone else's time.