To not go to work..

[hedgehugsandkisses88]

2 kids tonight both starting with what I assume is Norovirus. Meaning one can't go to nursery and other can't go to school. No other childcare!!! I'm due at work tues and weds. Aibu to not go to work? I won't be able to send them off for at least 48 hours

I think this is me. I’ve never had a stomach bug. Well, I nearly shat myself during a spray tan once but that’s it.
The rest of my family get it about once a year but it dodges me.

@0rangeCrush you're so lucky!! I wish there would be a vaccine for the bloody virus!!

I don't know really.. just would you be mad if you were an employer. Is it something you can be disciplined for

The problem here is that, if it's always you that takes time off for sick kids, he's always gonna earn 10x more. If he takes time off when the kids are sick, you might close the earnings gap a bit in the future.

No, you have a statutory right to time off for dependants in a situation like this. Read the gov website above and also check your employee handbook.

Also, you say he earns 10x what you do; but also that you earn £8k. That means you are not working full-time. Therefore; the cost for missing a days work is not 10x more than you.

I earn about 4x what my partner does and we still split it 50:50. Fair is fair.

‘Hello <manager>, Really sorry but both children are down with norovirus and I’ve developed really bad stomach ache. Unfortunately I need to call in sick today - probably a good thing that I don’t come in and spread it.’

Nah, don’t overegg the pudding.

Hi manager, kids have a stomach bug and I need to take tomorrow off. I’ll be back on Wednesday as my partner is taking Wednesday off. Thanks for understanding.

My kids have passed noro (or some other violent sick bug) between them numerous times without myself or dh getting it, maybe adult immune systems are more robust (just guessing, I don’t actually know!).
Anyway, dh and I still split taking leave to look after poorly dc. He’s self employed and out earns me by far but why should my job be the one to suffer every time? It’s as important to me as his job is to him.
Exceptions at the moment for us however is that ds has been off school since last Monday with a high temperature and general lethargy/no appetite etc. just lying down watching telly all day. I wfh and it’s been no bother as he’s not really needed me in the same way as if he was vomiting - I stick my head round on him when I’m taking a break and hang out when I’m on lunch.

I agree with @0rangeCrush
I work with someone like the OP and it's very frustrating that when her kids are sick, she is always the one off because her partner's job is more important than hers.

I’m pretty sure you have to be sick to “call in sick” 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don’t understand the dilemma?

Are you just being dramatic or are you asking what to do?

I think a day each. Otherwise not fair to your employer.

No need to assume you’ll get it. Wash hands religiously, use bleach in toilets and dettol any sick bowls,. Change towels frequently (after every use if need be) and don’t share.

my kids are teens and we have never had d&v including norovirus, spread.

He can easily work in the evening and catch up on weekends then? Also no one to answer too if he's the boss so easier for him to take the time off.

I personally think you should at least split it one day off each. My DH earns more than me but we always split days off when children are ill. Sometimes I go into office, rush home early and he stays up working until 1am to make it work.

It definitely shouldn't be just your work impacted imo. They're his children too

@FloraClover that's amazing!!

I'll take tomorrow and see how we feel about weds. I know he won't keep his laptop shut and give them the full attention like I would, and I'm not sure I want to go in after being so stressed looking after them. I'm thinking of handing my notice in soon anyway tbh.

Surely if you make 8k a year you only work 1 or 1.5 days a week can you not swap your days to fit in with partner?

What’s going on here? You’ve got kids. Have they never been sick before? What else do you think happens? You need to take the time off work to look after them or your husband does. That’s just life? What is it you want from this thread?

some interesting perceptions of self employment here. My husband and I are both self employed. If my kids had been sick today, there’s no way on earth he could have stayed at home. I’m sure there will be some skeptics and no what he does isn’t life and death but he absolutely had to be on site today. He’s done 54 hours across three days since Saturday. If he had been a solo parent he would have had to have rung round friends and family to implore them to help. This is the reality of running a small (once thriving) business still recovering from being decimated in the pandemic. (Not hospitality. No hand outs for us unfortunately)

My self employment while equally as demanding on my time is largely desk-based in as much as I could potentially stay up all night to complete the work I missed in the day looking after sick children. Provided they’re not sick through the night. So while it’s not exactly ‘fair’ I am the default when something has to give.

My point being is that people shouldn’t be so quick to assume the husband is at fault here or is putting upon the OP unfairly. or that self employment equals flexibility.

Oh and yeah, you just have to not go to work OP….

Your partner can catch up on work, you can’t. Split the childcare.
And maybe the kids will get used to dad being an equal parent 🙄

Who stayed home in the end OP?