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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mil annoying me

2 replies

Henriettay · 05/02/2024 19:52

My Mil is a nice person (generally) and overall we get on ok. She is elderly (late 80’s) and I’m not sure if her insensitivity is age related. She has a habit of being tactless / not thinking before she speaks but overall this is not an issue as I’m not a particularly sensitive person.

I am early 50’s and am probably menopausal, I don’t have really extreme symptoms like others have but am really struggling with brain fog and exhaustion. I’ve been to the doctors and am deficient in vitamin D, have been referred for an ultrasound (unexplained bleeding), nothing major just stuff going on. I don’t bring this up or feel the need to talk about it, but she overheard me mentioning to DH about the Dr’s app. Ever since (at least 4 separate occasions now), she has brought up menopause. She says the same thing over and over, almost word for word - It just wasn’t a thing in my day, we just got on with it, I don’t understand the big deal theses days etc.

I don’t understand why she keeps doing this? I’m not even moaning about it or bring it up myself. DH is always quick to respond with things like I think it’s good it’s talked about now, or why should women suffer in silence etc.

I don’t say much, just change the subject. Things don’t normally bother me, but this is starting to grate on me. How can I make this stop? If I say something more direct or impolite she’ll then think I’m being unreasonable- obviously because I’m menopausal 😂

Tips to deal with this please?

OP posts:
Maybeicanhelpyou · 05/02/2024 19:58

Ask her why she’s assuming it’s menopause? And isn’t rudeness treated these days?

GettingStuffed · 05/02/2024 19:58

I suspect she did have to just get on with it as the menopause wasn't really discussed, there was HRT but it wasn't really trusted. My mum would have been 78 this year but she developed cancer that was thought to be linked to her treatment.

I had an incredibly easy menopause but I wouldn't think anyone else having it worse was milking it.

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