To think this was really really bad counselling?

[PBJam]

I have been struggling with anxiety and PTSD after a number of different health traumas - both things that have happened to me (eg cancer) and my DC (resulting in permanent disability). The anxiety is based around health issues as so many things have gone wrong to me and my family that I just keep expecting more bad things to happen. And if I get a small health issue it triggers (hate that word sorry!) all of the emotions that I went through with the big health issues. One of the things i particularly struggle with is that when I went to the doctors I was told that either I or my DC were fine when we were actually seriously ill. This happened multiple times with multiple serious illnesses. So I can't trust doctors. But I can't trust myself either as I think eg a rash is lupus or a sore knee is bone cancer.

I had CBT which was awful and made things worse. Then I had 5 sessions of counselling which had also made things worse. Examples of things the counsellor said:

You won't ever get over your trauma. You need to hold onto it as it kept you safe.

You can't trust the doctors as you were right and they were wrong.

You have to learn to deal with how you feel. There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better. You just have to get on with your day the best you can.

Any time you have a health symptom you should go to the doctor to get it checked (bearing in mind most of my symptoms are physical symptoms of anxiety and they change every day so if I did that I would be at the GP all the time).

[I explain a current symptom] ooh that sounds worrying. I would be worried if that happened to me.

Every single session I felt much more depressed and anxious than at the beginning. I've now said I won't go any more. He said I should think about seeing a psychiatrist.

AIBU in thinking this was really really bad counselling?

Can I also just point out that anyone can become a counsellor or CBT therapist if they have the time and around £6000 to complete a course.
I was a mental health nurse for 25 years building up extensive knowledge and experience before becoming a CBT & EMDR therapist. The past experience is what you’re looking for in an accredited therapist.
Personally I’d never touch a “counsellor “ or a CBT therapist that hasn’t completed at least the diploma level of training from a recognised UK (if resident country for you) university.
Too many private companies offering shit training.

Also should have said as far as I’m aware a GP is not able to provide a diagnosis of PTSD nor is a psychotherapist.
You can have a nursing diagnosis which I would give then have that backed up by a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist.
If you have been given a diagnosis then you Shavuot have been given a letter stating that from whoever gave it.
There is very strict guidelines to meet the diagnostic criteria for any MH condition.

Sorry autocorrect, should read , should have a letter…

Agree with every point you make @giggly.

Oh OP 😢 I could've written this myself! Not about health concerns regarding myself, but about my child who has a very serious medical condition, and who can deteriorate and need emergency brain surgery within hours. The things you said about not being believed by doctors when something was wrong, how you HAVE to believe every symptom as that's what kept them safe before - I really could've written it all. Firstly, that therapist needs struck off - what awful, hideous things to say. Secondly, I think, as hard and unpalatable as it may be, you need to persevere and find a new therapist. I am onto my second therapist now (the first was lovely but we didn't click). I now have Mike. And he is my guardian angel - he's been with me two years now, and he has done more to heal me what anything else. I can't write down everything he has said to help me heal as it's as long as my arm, but I just want to say that it IS possible to heal from that trauma. I was diagnosed with PTSD and hyper vigilance by a psychiatrist and put on a cocktail of drugs which kept me sane but drugged. Over the last few years I've managed to get to the stage where I am medication free (NO shade to those who are medicated, it saved my life), and whilst I am always going to be an anxious parent and person, my life isn't dominated by the terror and fear and lonely darkness that it was whilst I was seriously unwell. I've been recommend EMDR but I know a few years need to have elapsed before that treatment is effective, so that's something I'll look into in the future. I'm sending so, so much love and empathy and support. It's so, so hard, but it's possible xx

@SouthernBel you don’t need to
wait a few years for EMDR, only about 8 months and that’s based on people making a natural recovery.
It is absolutely the best treatment for PTSD as advised by WHO.

I have C-Ptsd (diagnosed) and BPD (also diagnosed). Both diagnosed after being sectioned and by psychiatrists. Plus OCD which was obvious particularly in my teens but my parents never bothered getting a diagnosis.

I have had a really crap therapist who just sat there listening to me talk and offering the occasional tissue, and an amazing therapist who actually gave me the tools to deal with my trauma and other MH conditions. I came out of the crap therapist's sessions feeling suicidal, having just spent an hour with her going 'mmmm', 'awwww' while I told her of the trauma I'd been through.

Get a different therapist, basically. Also look into EMDR.

Thank you for this! My friend who is a GP is the one who told me this - I took it at face value and so didn't look into it anymore! Roughly two years have passed since the start of the trauma (it'll be ongoing throughout our lives, but who knows when!), do you think it's worth me looking into now? Would I go through my GP? Sorry for the questions, don't want to derail this thread at all!! Xx

So do I need to see a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis before I do anything else? I certainly didn't get a letter confirming I have anxiety or PTSD but it's on my GP records. I mean, I don't really feel like I need a piece of paper, I just want to get better. But maybe this is the way to go?

I don't feel like I can try again with talking therapy, for a while at least. I had to explain everything to the mental health triage person at the insurance company, then repeat it all again to the CBT lady who made me feel worse, then I had to repeat it all again to the counsellor who made me feel worse. I just don't have the strength to go through it all again with a new person right now.

@SouthernBel I'm sorry for what you have been through but glad you have found help. It's good to know that there is hope of feeling better.

My husband had EMDR after a health scare scare triggered debilitating anxiety. It really worked!

Have you tried EMDR?
I've told before of my horrific Trauma ( drugged gang raped) thrown under a bus ( was attempted murder).broken pelvis and hips..
Half a vagina.. talk of having leg amputed now.
26 plus operations.
Just done a course of EMDR. Paid private ( priced from £50 to £120 a session on average) was first used for soliders with PTSD.
Works brilliant.

I strongly recommend you see your GP and request some medication for anxiety.

My DH had some dreadful health anxiety (triggered by a real health problem) and eventually I put my foot down and insisted he see his GP - he was put on sertraline and it was AMAZING the difference in him. It only took about a week and all his obsessive thinking just disappeared. He said he still thinks the same anxious thoughts but no longer has the feelings along with them. He was having dreadful twitches too and this helped - as his general anxiety dropped the twitches lessened. It might help reduce your physical symptoms of anxiety.

I have HUGE sympathy for you - I have chronic health problems that were ignored for 20+ years by doctors despite me begging them to believe me. It makes you crazy, and I understand not trusting your instincts. I recommend the NHS website if you're going to google, as it's very sensible.

Your counsellor sounds shit. I also recommend like others you see a psychotherapist as they are better trained and better regulated. Make sure you find someone with experience in health anxiety, registered with either the BACP or UKCP.

The thing is there are counsellors and there are clinical psychologists. The former potentially can’t help you if there’s something a bit deeper going on because they may not have the training. It sounds like you do need a psychologist, but you should probably take the advice and go and see a psychiatrist.

They will be able to diagnose and they will be able to prescribe and that will make it therapy so much easier to engage with any therapy. Also, if you don’t like your therapist, do not be afraid to go to someone else.

I came on to say if there's a specific trauma that's led to your anxiety EMDR is really good. I've known two people who've had it and it's helped both of them massively.

Look up professor Marie Reid. She's a clinical psychologist who I'm working with currently and she's great for me. Bupa accredited too. Done via zoom as she's miles away from me, but I'm good with that.

Another vote for EMDR. I did this after working with my counsellor for quite a while ( self funded via compensation). I did feel that I needed the trust to be there first but I’m sure some practitioners can start straight away.

After only around 3/4 sessions I remember walking to her house and suddenly thinking,’ I don’t need this.’ And the good thing is that once you understand the technique you can do it yourself at home if you need to.

@Moier I’m so sorry for your appalling experience and hope you are living as well as you are able to now.

I've actually just emailed an EMDR therapist about possibly doing it on my usual therapist's recommendation. What was it like?

I suggest checking the BACP register for additional options as well. I'm sorry to hear about your negative experience. A competent trauma-informed counsellor can delve into the underlying issues beneath anxiety and get to the root; it's a gradual and extensive process. Carolyn Spring writes very well on this. It's important to be patient with yourself and recognise that healing takes time. Best of luck, OP.

You have had a shit time. This counsellor is rubbish. Personally I find CBT crap. I have suffered similarly with bad doctors missing things.

i try to find a doctor that I trust - this is not easy. But if you can find a decent one you trust then it helps. I also like EFT and I’ve heard good stuff about EMDR

the passage of time helps too

good luck