To think Social Media should be banned for under 16s

[Halfmanhalfcake]

Off the back of Esther Gheys campaigning about phone use and social media,
I was thinking how bonkers it is that we (as a society) haven't put in stricter controls over social media / internet use for kids yet.

It's as if the technology has developed too quickly, and parents have been left scrabbling around trying to control whatever they can, in what is essentially a completely unregulated cyber world.

I realise that some people are anti nanny-state, but imagine if CBBC started showing snuff films or porn in the middle of some teen drama. When mental health problems in children are soaring, and there is some evidence to show a link to phone / social media use, it seems totally nuts that regulation isn't being enforced at a higher level.

I see grown adults lose all perspective just from being on twitter, how on earth do we think kids can handle it better?

What benefit is it for children under 16 to be on social media? So they can do some tik-tok dance craze? If you want to do a dance just do it in your front room with your mates. To post posey-influencer style images at 13/14? For whose benefit?

I've heard people argue that its unrealistic to think that it can be changed now. Why? My kids are still young so maybe i dont understand.

Remarkable to find someone who thinks social media has not played a substantial role in 2024. I imagine you would have told Alexander Bell he was mad if he'd told you calling someone was quicker than writing them a letter.

@pointythings but these things dont have to happen in isolation. Surely you can have communication with your kids, AND some internet regulation?

If it becomes class Primary school policy & all parents agree to this & a brick, it might work on a micro level?

I don't need help. But also, kids will find a workaround and if they want access to stuff they'll find it regardless. I do monitor what my DC watch but am not naive, so I tackle it from the other side too and drill it into them that the internet/social media is bloody brilliant, but can also be a very scary place so just talk to me.

As a result they often tell me X at school is sharing unpleasant stuff about Y etc. (I appreciate that sounds smug, genuinely don't mean it to be. )

On the note of accessing stuff if they really want to, I have vivid memories of a pal stealing her brothers faces of death videos and porn mags for us 😩

I largely agree with you OP but I think the solution is probably not a complete ban but much more control and much more limiting of content.

One of the things I found most concerning is how 99 percent of kids over 11 are on what's app, which is an absolute gift to abusers, bullies and county lines. But because the official agreement limit is 16 everyone just pretends it isn't happening.

The social media giants are way too powerful for one parent to stand up to, we need legislation and strong enforcement to protect kids.

I think it’s good to take care and help your dc navigate SM

Dc don’t do IG, tik tok or Snapchat

They message friends and game over that

100% agree. Most people I know only let their kids use it because they don’t want them to be left out. If it was banned this problem would disappear.

The answer is not to just ban everything. What is needed is better parental control in most cases.

Yes and you should have to prove your age. It's crazy that no checks ate made when you sign up.

My 12 year old doesn't have social media. It's up to the parents IMO. It's not difficult.

@Halfmanhalfcake I would like to see more regulation purely of content - things like self harm, eating disorders etc. I would also like more crackdowns on antivaxx bullshit and misinformation. However, banning social media based on age is not going to be the great benefit people think it would be. There would absolutely be adverse consequences. Even thinking about self harm isn't without its complexities. My eldest self harmed - combination of being bullied at school and watching their dad sink into alcohol addiction. It was social media groups that made her stop self harming.

@Whattodowithit88 how do you define "educational" though.
My daughter goes on forums/chats and has (sometimes very in-depth) discussions on books, films, theatre etc.
Her reading range is amazing - reading books that she has learned about through social media. She discusses authors and genres.
She debates the differences between new and old versions of films and talks about stage plays. She and her online pals will discuss and analyse every detail of a film sometimes 😂
She also watches a billion videos of how to hand rear kittens.

Yes, it should be age restricted. I suspect by the time our kids are having kids it will be and people will look back at this time as being one when both parents and the state were extraordinarily slack in not doing more.

Re the point about banning the sale of knives not entirely stopping under 18s having knives- the ban makes it harder for them to have knives and so reduces the number. The idea you don't have laws around anything unless they can be 100% enforced is nonsense. You may as well say people still speed so why do we have speed limits?

Exactly this.

We can't ban everything because of lazy parenting.

@MrsTingly I've never understood that line of argument either - people still smoke so why ban cigarettes, people are still fat so why ban cake? It's just so circular.

My 15yo has a smart phone, but all SM is blocked through parental controls and on other devices she has access to. When she's 16 we will begin to look at getting her on SM with guidance and advice from me.

DS, 12 only has a dumb phone, and also no SM on other devices. My kids still have friends, still meet up and hang out with others. Kids do not need SM to have a life.

However, I agree that SM companies must do more to protect children. While 16 is not a magic age, it's fair to say that kids under that age are definitely too young for it. Age verification and getting rid of harmful content would be a start.

To all the parents who have a strong handle on managing their kids social media use, that's great. Genuinely. If all parents were like you we probably wouldn't have half the problems we do.But they're not. So what do you do for their kids?

With the best will in the world, it's a bit of an 'I'm alright jack' attitude. Which I do get, when my kids get to that age I hope I can talk with the authority and conviction you do. But that doesn't also mean I don't want the internet / social media to be a safer space for everybody.

Agree too

I have to agree with this. Pro-ana sites for starters. But, it isn't a race to the bottom and I'd welcome some kind of regulation around kids and social media. I see enough problems with social media between adults in my job, let alone kids. I was probably one of the last age groups to get through school before sm really took off, but I'm terrified for my DD's future.

Hmm... hadn't thought of that. You do have a point

I've seen grown adults lose all perspective watching the BBC and reading the drivel of shit on the MSM. I'm not on twitter, but the world has changed a lot. There are more individual perceptions, not every human has the same viewpoint. The same body or mind. I can't see anyone going back on this. Technology and the digital world is here to stay. We should be teaching children to self regulated. I agree with tik tok ban it for under 16 !

This! Aside from her obsession with skin care yes I hate that. It's absolutely got amazing learning opportunities for kids. Mine is artistic and using graphics too. Very savvy. It's about teaching them to self regulate.

But self-regulating doesnt stop you from accessing porn, or self-harm websites. I'll just use them for 30 mins Mon- Wed.

I don't think banning social media is the answer, but I do think that companies need to take more responsibility for what is being shown on their apps. There was an investigation a while back, for example, where they found paedophile groups on Facebook, handed the information to Facebook, and nothing was done. Personally, I allow my kids access to some sites / apps (although not TikTok, Facebook, or Instagram), but keep a close eye on what they are accessing. I would rather navigate with them, rather than ban everything and let them deal with it all as older teens. My daughter has whatsapp, but isn't allowed to join any groups (they are toxic swamps!).

But I also think social media is a bit of a red herring in the case of Brianna Ghey. One of the killers had been accessing the dark web for some time, and that's a whole other ballgame.

I don't have a full grasp of what's going on with the internet these days but I'm 36 and when I was a young teenager the internet was the absolute Wild West. I feel like everything is homogenised now and everyone spends their lives on the same handful of websites on repeat.

Late 90s/early 2000s the "internet" was chat forums and the like, endless illegal downloads off Limewire, talking to fuck knows who on Habbo Hotel and the like for hours. My friend and I were in fits of giggles having "cyber sex" with strangers. God knows who was on the other end asking us "ASL"

It's better and worse now. Parents just don't know what their kids are up to now. But neither did my parents then. They didn't have a clue.

You cannot get the genie back in the lamp now. Parents have to wise up. My child is 2 and god knows how things will have changed by the time he's a teenager. We'll just have to wait and see and do what we can in the meantime. He is not allowed a tablet any time soon for a start.