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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children on Ipads in restaurants

819 replies

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 08:27

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

OP posts:
PaperDoIIs · 06/02/2024 19:54

NannieLou · 06/02/2024 19:29

Why would you take your children out for dinner if your not going to interact with them? None of my 4 children needed electronics to sit still and behave in a restraunt. My youngest waitresses at the weekend and she often remarks that children are given ipads to amuse themselves while the adults scroll through their phones!

How else are they supposed to eat on holiday? Especially if it's an AI type of holiday.

Teddleshon · 06/02/2024 19:55

I find it ironic that those of us who have a no screens at the table rule are immediately judged and castigated for being judgmental. Obviously we wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work for us and I’m not judging others who make different choices.

We also have also have always had a no toys at the table rule. Works for us.

NannieLou · 06/02/2024 19:56

Not in the slightest, we personally feel that due to having to work ridiculous hours to survive, when we spent quality family time together we wanted to converse, play word games and enjoy each others company. Every family is different, we all have different ways of bringing our children up.
Children nowadays are living in a digital world, but lack conversational skills, not all children but quite a few (just my opinion before someone spits the dummy!)

periodiclabel · 06/02/2024 19:58

OP, I know you said ages ago you were bowing out. But if you're reading good for you for standing your ground. You're 100 per cent right about this and the consequences of this becoming the norm is going to be a generation of children with no social skills and attention spans - we're already seeing it. Even sadder is their hostile, defensive parents who won't allow any questioning of their methods, even when they're clear scientific evidence to show what screens do to children's developing brains. The what-aboutery on this thread is hilarious and sad, of course there are the odd exceptions when children really do need distraction but parents these days have shut their baby up with a phone or iPad as soon as it could hold it. Now, obviously, the children have meltdowns if they're deprived of that entertainment on tap for more than a second and so it gets worse. Congratulations on being a good parent.

Blondebrunette1 · 06/02/2024 20:16

@Somersetlady are you a parent? Just out of interest, only it's the sort of thing I'd have thought (not said) before I actually was a parent. I don't have time or any inclination to notice they way other people live/parent now. We do allow iPads in restaurants when it's just us. I want a nice experience, it's down time for my husband and I and the kids should be allowed to relax however they choose too. We don't allow them when we have a meal with another family, friends or our wider family, that'd be rude and they'd be far better occupied socialising with others anyway, but eating dinner with us and their siblings (whom they spend most of their time with) its perfectly acceptable to just relax and enjoy their food and be antisocial sometimes.

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:18

periodiclabel · 06/02/2024 19:58

OP, I know you said ages ago you were bowing out. But if you're reading good for you for standing your ground. You're 100 per cent right about this and the consequences of this becoming the norm is going to be a generation of children with no social skills and attention spans - we're already seeing it. Even sadder is their hostile, defensive parents who won't allow any questioning of their methods, even when they're clear scientific evidence to show what screens do to children's developing brains. The what-aboutery on this thread is hilarious and sad, of course there are the odd exceptions when children really do need distraction but parents these days have shut their baby up with a phone or iPad as soon as it could hold it. Now, obviously, the children have meltdowns if they're deprived of that entertainment on tap for more than a second and so it gets worse. Congratulations on being a good parent.

Parents these days.....

GrinGrinGrinGrin

PaperDoIIs · 06/02/2024 20:21

Teddleshon · 06/02/2024 19:55

I find it ironic that those of us who have a no screens at the table rule are immediately judged and castigated for being judgmental. Obviously we wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work for us and I’m not judging others who make different choices.

We also have also have always had a no toys at the table rule. Works for us.

A lot of posters do. In a "if I can do it why can't you" kind of way. That's the problem.

Louloulouenna · 06/02/2024 20:22

It’s interesting the extent of the angry / defensive responses on here, leaving aside autistic children or those with a disability (obviously!) if you’re so convinced that screens at the table are a force for good why do you care what anyone else thinks.

PlaneMum19 · 06/02/2024 20:23

I take my sons tablet sometimes
his 2 and a half (we also have a 9 month old) we don’t get it out unless we’re desperate! Sometimes I haven’t had a chance to eat. So if it means I get to finish a meal we’ve paid for I’m going to put him on it even if some busy body is looking around judging me!
and when he does watch it it isn’t cartoons it’s normally education games and mainly planes and trains.

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:23

Louloulouenna · 06/02/2024 20:22

It’s interesting the extent of the angry / defensive responses on here, leaving aside autistic children or those with a disability (obviously!) if you’re so convinced that screens at the table are a force for good why do you care what anyone else thinks.

I assume because they don't like being judged? It's hardly odd is it?

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:24

Louloulouenna · 06/02/2024 20:22

It’s interesting the extent of the angry / defensive responses on here, leaving aside autistic children or those with a disability (obviously!) if you’re so convinced that screens at the table are a force for good why do you care what anyone else thinks.

Do t like being judged on a small snippet of their parenting, by a total stranger!

Hardly surprising?

Hippyhippybake · 06/02/2024 20:28

Really? If you’re absolutely convinced what you’re doing is the right way to go why do you care what strangers might think?

periodiclabel · 06/02/2024 20:29

Unfortunately if you're doing something that is damaging your child's attention span, cognitive development, eyesight etc etc you will be judged (again, some exceptions apply but generally). Just as you would be if you were smoking in your child's face or giving them a bottle full of Coke. Them's the breaks.

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:32

periodiclabel · 06/02/2024 20:29

Unfortunately if you're doing something that is damaging your child's attention span, cognitive development, eyesight etc etc you will be judged (again, some exceptions apply but generally). Just as you would be if you were smoking in your child's face or giving them a bottle full of Coke. Them's the breaks.

Damaging eyesight? Is this line my mum and dad used to say I'd get square eyes from watching too much telly....... Grin

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:34

Hippyhippybake · 06/02/2024 20:28

Really? If you’re absolutely convinced what you’re doing is the right way to go why do you care what strangers might think?

I don't, but I'd stand up and say don't judge me when people remark on it, like on here!

BTW my children are too old to have had screens, it's just a general don't diss parents and not expect them to go back at you.

PaperDoIIs · 06/02/2024 20:34

@doilooklikeicare for me it was reading.Grin

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:35

PaperDoIIs · 06/02/2024 20:34

@doilooklikeicare for me it was reading.Grin

Did that give you lines in your eyes 😆

Mgs1234 · 06/02/2024 20:42

I’ve learnt that as much as you may want them to, children are not going to sit quietly all evening, we take colouring books and tablets to keep them occupied and I don’t see anything wrong with that. Although they would only be allowed the tablets after the meal.

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:44

periodiclabel · 06/02/2024 20:35

OK, don't read the thousands of warnings out there

https://www.chop.edu/news/health-tip/how-too-much-screen-time-affects-kids-eyes

But I judge people who don't bother informing themselves about these things

I judge you.

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:46

periodiclabel · 06/02/2024 20:35

OK, don't read the thousands of warnings out there

https://www.chop.edu/news/health-tip/how-too-much-screen-time-affects-kids-eyes

But I judge people who don't bother informing themselves about these things

I judge you, because you've no fucking idea how long the children have screen time, based on them being on them in restaurants.

I mean how stupid could one person be to assume, if they have them in a restaurant that they are used too much?

Jesus, the ridiculousness is unreal!

periodiclabel · 06/02/2024 20:47

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 20:44

I judge you.

Feel free, love! It doesn't bother me like it seems to bother you

Irishmama100 · 06/02/2024 20:47

I personally wouldn’t permit it for my kids. But don’t care what others do, but Christ if they have no head phones on it puts me mental. I don’t want to sit listening to Peppa Pig eating me dinner 🙈

PaperDoIIs · 06/02/2024 20:49

Irishmama100 · 06/02/2024 20:47

I personally wouldn’t permit it for my kids. But don’t care what others do, but Christ if they have no head phones on it puts me mental. I don’t want to sit listening to Peppa Pig eating me dinner 🙈

Incy wincy spider.Non stop. On a 3 hour flight.

Omttas · 06/02/2024 20:54

Some neurodivergant children won't eat without a screen to distract from the focus on food.
This could be the children's only screen time all day.
Maybe on holiday rules are more relaxed and children can have more screen time.
Maybe the children do look at screens all day and do nothing else, with super lazy parents. You will never find out.
Maybe don't worry about other people and just enjoy your own holiday how you want to just like those other familys are doing?