Always saying 'Yes' at work

[CoCoaButter85]

There seems to be a general rule at work to always say yes. Regardless if the task can be achieved or not within the given deadline people always say yes. I even noticed my own manager saying yes to his boss (head of our department) and then not coming into meeting, delaying the meeting to the point where the outcome was very clearly not going to be delivered.

I am more straight forward and if I see there is an issue towards trying to achieve something I vocalise it. My manager said he thinks this is a negative attitude. That I need to be more positive about things. Appreciate i could communicate it better so he does have a point. However, saying yes to everything and then not delivering is not the way I want to work.

Has anyone work in an environment like this and how do I handle this? (I noticed this through our wiser department with higher level managers so clearly this is the way forward in this company)

I started saying no a couple of years ago. I’m much less stressed and still have my job.

You're manager's an idiot - he can't play the avoidance game for ever.

Maybe you could offer solutions to issues, so it looks like you're not only recognising any problems but have thought about how to overcome them?

I took am becoming better at saying no. I am also however becoming better at suggesting alternative options that might make the task more achievable.

E.g. I won't be able to deliver that to the deadline because of X commitment, but it might be achievable if I were to be given x resource.

I think you should say, ‘Yes, but…..’ as a general rule at work. If something needs doing you obviously can’t just turn around and say no but you should be able to push back on the specifics of what is being requested. It might be that you ask for more time, or to clarify whether what you had been working on should be de-prioritised for this new task. You only have some
much time and resource and it should be ok to point that out.

Every workplace has its own "culture". I worked at one software developer where it was expected that you said yes to everything, but it was also known that you delivered all that at 80% effectiveness. Basically the end user was the bug finder because we'd said yes to so much there was no time to bugfix.

Another might stick to the contract as signed 5 months ago, saying no, cant fit in any more, and deliver exactly what was specified, bugfixed. This also has issues... its a fast moving environment and stuff becomes obsolete and uncompetitive so quickly.

So, I'd say it depends on the tasks, on the business, on customer expectations... future proofing sometimes needs a yes culture with an understanding that it comes with its own limitations.

Phrase it as ‘yes, as long as we can delay the other work and I can get some more resource’.

I think saying ‘that’s not the way I want to work’ is a bit entitled. You are employed and paid to do a job, and if that job is saying yes in these scenarios, and that’s what your directors want from you, then that’s in the remit of your job.

If another task will have to be delayed or passed off to someone else then you can let whoever needs to know know.

If it’s not the way you want to work then it’s not the job for you.

I'm a bit like you, I tend to point out the concerns against a wave of 'yes'. When it doesn't work out for the yea people I get frustrated because I'm not saying no, more saying these are the challenges so it might take longer or shall we try something different. My old boss was really supportive and said my constructive challenge was helpful. It's how to frame it, I still struggle to find the right language to challenge but I find myself stressing less if I have offered a solution in a different way so it's not a 'no'.

Can you say Yes im happy to take that on x, I've been working on y so if you want x completed I'll need to prioritise that over y - is that ok?

It’s helpful to open up the discussion - what’s the overall outcome we want from this?

Ok, we aren’t going to achieve A this quarter, so what do you think - shall we go for B or C? (Always good to give a choice)

Or this..

Just saying no as a rule of thumb isn’t going to be helpful. Being grown up is saying yes - we can do some of that, or yes we can do X if we delay Y - because it’s helping to work out a solution

I'm a' yes, but only if it takes priority over (another deadlined offering) Z. Can't do both, not unless Tina stops doing (deadlined also) C and helps me with Z'

All very useful answers, thank you for looking into this.

@Turnthelightoff - I like the advise you are giving.

@Didimum - appreciate this might be coming across as entitled.

I think this is partly due to the fact that I'm not originally from here. So naturally used to being bit more straight forward. Not that it's an excuse. I obviously need to adapt.

My other challenge is how do I develop this skill of communicating better? Obvious answer would be to attend some training/read a book but these things only won't change me, will it.

Plus my manager keeps on pushing me to do things that very obviously are just not achievable. I work after work and over the weekends (it's a busy time so it's not unusual which I don't mind as it's only for max 2 more months) but on top of that he's pushing me to deliver on another project. I don't have anyone I can dedicate this type of work or get someone to help me. It's just me. I can attempt to deliver both at poor quality, work all the weekends straight (which is not sustainable) or I simply need to push it to another month. So I don't know how to handle this without coming across as negative...

This sounds like my working life right now. Team is under resourced and there is too much work to do. Manager says 'don't be afraid to say no to requests' and then when we do, if someone challenges he doesn't back us up. It's very irritating and is making me want to leave.