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AIBU?

Judgy mum or normal?

5 replies

murielsway · 05/02/2024 00:51

Does anyone else have an extremely judgy mum who judges everyone and no matter what they do it never feels good enough?
I know everyone judges to a degree but to literally base your life on your mums approval into your 40s?
I have crippling social anxiety and low self esteem, I know it's not healthy but I can't seem
to break the cycle of trying to please her.
Surely other people don't live like this.

OP posts:
Hipnotised · 05/02/2024 00:58

You can't change her, only your reaction to her.

Have you considered some form of therapy? There's obviously years of issues to unpick.

WandaWonder · 05/02/2024 01:01

No I don't feel this, but someting maybe to think about is how much does she actually judges you compared to home much you think you are being judged

sure she could be judging you or but to another person what she says maybe a normal passing comment

OzziePopPop · 05/02/2024 01:43

Yes, we are now no longer in contact. She ‘judged’ me once too many times and had started to show signs that she was judging my children. I decided that was enough.

Genuineweddingone · 05/02/2024 04:41

Judges everyone on her own low standards and morals. I have gone no contact.
Go to the 'we took you to stately homes' thread. Lots of us sadly in the same position.

Namemchangeforthispostonly101 · 05/02/2024 04:43

Yup had counselling and implemented better boundaries too. Also spoke to her about how she was making me feel, game changer

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