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AIBU?

Bereavement gifts

2 replies

X3678 · 04/02/2024 20:01

Just want to get opinions, I work in a small workplace, less than 10 people. My father (who I was extremely close to) recently passed away and a few work colleagues didn’t come to the funeral and had very little to say afterwards and have been less than supportive or empathetic. A few weeks later another colleague had her father pass away and the same colleagues gave her a gift and seemed to be more supportive to her. I get that some people get on better with others etc however given that in general we work in a small team and seem to get on, this feels extremely hurtful. It’s not that they know her any better outside of work etc also and we would all have the same kind of working relationship. It’s not about the value of the gift as I would not be wanting anything, however it is about the gesture and it feels extremely hurtful at one of the worst times of my life. I’m not even sure what to do about it, am I being unreasonable to feel extremely hurt as I am still overwhelmed with grief and emotions or should I just put on my big girl pants, ignore it and get on with it?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

18 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
50%
You are NOT being unreasonable
50%
PermanentTemporary · 04/02/2024 20:13

Of course you are very hurt. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm hoping to hear that you are still off work. It sounds as if you are in no fit state to cope with office politics and decision making.

Walking2024now33days · 04/02/2024 20:18

I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost mine over a decade ago now. The slights do hurt a lot.

if I were you, I'd look for another job because the resentment & hurt aren't going to go away. It'll change how you work & how happy you are at work.

i know it seems like a big ask of yourself right now, but your future self will thank you!!

look after yourself.
xx

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