AIBU to ask you if I’m poor for my age?

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Okay, so poor is the wrong word, but I have anxiety and at the moment, I’m doing the usual and worrying about the future.

DH and I used to be in debt but have been lucky to be able to turn it around, but still worry I’m way off where my peers are.

DH has a very good public sector pension. I didn’t work for years so all I have is £4K in a private pension so far.

Otherwise, we have the following:

£20k in a Lifetime ISA (£16k we put in, £4k government contribution)
£500 in a stocks and shares ISA
£1000 instant access savings account.

On top of that, just the usual money in current accounts that will mainly be gone by the end of the month.

We have a car which is fully paid for but we don’t own a house. I’m 35 and our kids are 10 and 8.

I can’t help but feel like we’ve gone totally wrong in life to end up where we are at our age and worry that we’ll never catch up with everyone else!

I think all things are relative. You're a long way of being able to stop work but you're on the right track and you have a decent and accessible buffer (albeit with a penalty if you take from the LISA). I think more telling would be your month to month income and outgoings and your abilty to add to what you have already saved.

There are a lot of people who have no savings at all and no pension provision.

Would the £20k be enough for a house deposit? I’d rather have the security of not renting than money in savings.

Are you renting? What's your household income annually? It's hard to measure without this detail but you can look up the most recent census answers in your area and work out where you are on that. I find it helpful to place myself on the 100 ladder - 100th rung on top etc. Gives me a decent picture of how average I am!

https://www.ons.gov.uk/census/maps/

I’d try to buy a house because renting with a pension scares me. You can also downsize to release money at a later point.

but at 35, with no dents and some savings, you’re doing fine.

To be honest the fact that you don't own a home does make me think you aren't financially comfortable or secure.

Otherwise though - no you are not poor. You have £20k in savings.

It’s hard to tell without earnings detailed op, but you seem to be indicating you spend all your income each month?

Well I'm 32 married with 4 dc. We rent and are in the red from covid business debt.
And I'm not worried. It is what it is and it is improving daily

I think you are doing OK OP.

Also success isn't always measured in how much money you have.

You don’t need to catch up with anyone OP. You’re not doomed. A huge well done for getting out of debt. It sounds like you’re making very sensible choices, working, and paying into pensions, all while raising a family too. Renting is the preference for many people, so don’t feel like it’s a disaster and instead focus on the positives of renting, and having a balanced lifestyle. I know many home owners who have fallen into negative equity over the last two decades with the country’s continuous financial crashes. Home ownership is no longer the financial guarantee it once was. Also, please remember, many of your peers will have bought their houses with huge lump sums from family members/inheritance. I have some friends who own their houses outright, and some still living with parents (mid-30s), there is a huge mix in this generation.

Our housing costs are subsidised by DH’s employer. So we want to buy, but will lose that perk when we do, and can’t decide if it’s best not to buy yet and continue saving for a bit longer. Also, we are not sure where we want to buy, so that’s another issue.

We save some money every month. DH earns £45000 and I earn about £12000 but am also a student.

I didn’t work when our children were very small as my earning potential was low and childcare costs would have been high and we have no family support. Also, DH’s income was a lot less, so we got into a bit of debt over that period. It’s taken a while to get that all paid off and get some savings together.

I'm 35. We do own a home (with a mortgage over 30 years term), but have no savings at all.

The positives are you’re debt free and have a savings ethic.
Keep working at the savings and keep an eye on the property market where you want to live in case a bargain comes up.

I think I was 32 when I bought my first home so you’re not doing too badly IMO. You’re debt free and have cash in the bank.

I'm about the same age with two children. We own our own home - 18 years left on mortgage (approx. £180k which is roughly 40%LTV) plus around £15k on a bank loan for home improvements that ran over budget a couple of years ago. We have £7k in easy access savings.

I have a good pension but am a long way off of giving up work!

Like others have said I would prioritise buying a home. I don't really worry about money so long as I can pay mortgage as I know I have a roof over my head!

There are people earning 6 figures who live paycheck to paycheck. Being a good manager of money can be a better predictor of a comfortable retirement than earning a high salary. You got out of debt - that must have taken a lot of focus, energy, planning, small daily sacrifices etc. You and your DH succeeded as part of a team, which is very impressive. Hearing that story, and knowing your salaries, I think you'll be just fine, OP.
If I were you I'd keep budgeting (I use the paid app YNAB but there are loads out there), keep investing a portion of your income, try to avoid any "lifestyle creep", and go to sleep with your mind at ease.
Oh, and a guilty pleasure of mine is to watch Dave Ramsey videos on youtube if I need a boost. There are people out there making truly disastrous financial decisions - you're definitely not one of them!

I’m early 40s and have £24.70 to my name so you’re pretty rich in my eyes 🤷‍♀️

Average age of a first time buyer in the UK is 34. London is around 35. That's average so some will be younger. Some will be older.

You're turning things round, that's the key.

I went from having a few thousand in the bank (plus student debt) and renting with 2 young children at 30.... To £200k in my pension pot and substantial equity in the house by 40....

Helped by working in public sector from then, which boosted my pension nicely, and living frugally and throwing a lot at house deposit.

You're heading in the right direction

Your savings seem fairly healthy...not rich but pretty reassuring to have....I assumed you owned your own home though. That changes things slightly and I wouldn't consider your position that brilliant

Depends what you want to achieve!
If you want to buy a home then you'll need rather more in savings to get that deposit together, and your current joint income isn't much to borrow against - but presumably once you graduate, you'll be able to bring home more money.
If you don't plan to buy a home then you're probably fine, but I would wonder what your plansi are for a roof over your head when you retire.
Similarly, if your kids want to go to uni you may need to think about how you can support them through that; if you don't see that as a path they'll take, you don't need the money.

Basically the only way to answer "am I poor" is "do I have enough money to achieve what I want in life". The rest is pointless comparison to others.

I think the lack of pension is an issue, and depending where you live you could be quite far from having the deposit to buy a home and pay the costs associated .

overall your income is below average but this is as you’re a student, once you start employment, it will change. I think you’re fine;

I think the only thing that stands out to me is you not owning a home (and having DC). Puts you in quite a vulnerable position compared to having a mortgage where you can fix your payments for years ahead. I probably had a similar amount in accessible savings at your age but had a property and a better pension.