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Original poster

Anyone met someone naturally in their 30s?

60 replies

Mothersbeenabadgirl · 04/02/2024 17:12

I despise online apps, they've never got me anywhere whatsoever, just time wasters.
I'm 33, I just want someone who's sweet, kinda geeky, easy to get on with and has stuff in common, someone who makes me laugh.
I would just like it to happen naturally and develop.
I do parkrun but people don't seem up for talking, the ones who go for the coffee after always seem to be 60+, nothing wrong with that but not my age range.
I like art, cinema, gigs and so on.
The thing is I am quite confident, I've no issue approaching men or asking them out.
People say I'm 'sweet' and sadly I feel like a lot of men seem to want someone who's a bit 'harder' :(
I just feel Iike it won't happen :(

OP posts:
WolfFoxHare · 04/02/2024 18:40

In the year before I met now-DH, I met and dated two men in ‘real life’ (as opposed to via online dating) - one at work and one a friend of my housemate, at a party. Neither worked out - eventually it became clear in both cases that while we were attracted, we didn’t have enough in common or didn’t share the same values and worldview. A couple of months after I split with the second bloke, I met DH on Match - we’ve been together more than 11 years now, own a house together, have a DS and are closer than ever. We really clicked on our first date. I dated quite a few duds from Match too, tbf, but they’re not all timewasters.

hmmmwhattodo · 04/02/2024 19:02

Couples I know either met years ago, met online or at work.

You don't really hear about matchmaking anymore. When I was younger we all used to set our friends up with decent guys from work, or someone from our boyfriend or brothers friendships groups. Has that stopped now? Although, actually, just remembered that a friend did this fairly recently when she met a new guy; she set one of his friends up with one of her friends - they've just moved in together. So totally contradicted myself :)

Do your friends know you're up for meeting someone? Maybe they have someone in their network.

Other than this approach, take every opportunity to go to parties, networking events with work or how about joining a committee at work that would expose you to more colleagues? I don't know how it works in public sector but where I work they have a sustainability committee, an entertainment committee - that kind of thing.

The more people you meet in a year, the more likely you are to find someone you like.

Good luck :)

TigerJoy · 04/02/2024 19:06

I met my DH online.

I had tried so many dating websites, then another single friend recommended this "new" one - OKCupid (this was 11 years ago).

She was dating a cute slightly nerdy engineer - she said "I know that's your type...and because this site is supposed to have good algorithms lots of engineers and technical men are signing up to it".

I think in actuality it was just the most popular app so there were lots of people on there. However I'd research which are the most popular apps and which are the ones with the best back end - perhaps you'll find more slightly nerdy types on there...

There is no way I would have met DH organically and we're a really good fit. Same values, both wanted a relationship (I was so fed up of men wanting a few dates/ nights together then suddenly deciding they weren't over their ex after all / needed some space etc).

Otherwise...go where the slightly nerdy men are. Board games is an excellent start. See if your local cinema / art gallery does a singles night. If not, suggest they do one.

PS loads of people told me I was sweet, nice etc. I often felt it as a backhanded compliment! But then you'll meet someone who values that about you. Best of luck

Original poster
Mothersbeenabadgirl · 04/02/2024 19:13

Thank you!
I've signed up to a board game event thing but realised I don't actually know any board games, feel like I'll look an idiot going and not having a clue 😂

OP posts:
CeibaTree · 04/02/2024 19:21

We met at a wedding when we were both 32. It was just before the explosion on dating apps, so I’m glad I never had to do that - I think I probably just wouldn’t have bothered!

JennyForeigner · 04/02/2024 20:14

Yes, I met my husband volunteering. We were campaigning (2016...). The campaigning didn't work out but we have three children who are going to vote for a closer relationship with Europe again one day so I guess we did our best?

PhoenixStarbeamer · 04/02/2024 20:19

Yes I did, on Facebook dating. Didn't expect to meet anyone and wasn't in to it at all but as soon as his profile came up I just knew he was for me. Lives quite near me and we realised we know of each other through work, we had emailed each other once before but never met.

FluffyChemical · 04/02/2024 20:21

Mothersbeenabadgirl · 04/02/2024 19:13

Thank you!
I've signed up to a board game event thing but realised I don't actually know any board games, feel like I'll look an idiot going and not having a clue 😂

I'm a bit geeky too, love a board game meetup! The first one I went to I was 1 of 3 girls to 20 guys so the odds are in your favour! I had a really lovely evening and a couple of them asked for my number. Also didn't have many of my own games at the time but honestly people will be keen to share theirs and teach you how to play. Have a great time 😊

PhoenixStarbeamer · 04/02/2024 20:31

Sorry I just see you said naturally. Not natural but worked for me. It's almost like you meet them when you finally give up hope.

DuckDuck1234 · 04/02/2024 20:40

I second the recommendation to join Meetups. That's where my boyfriend and I met 2 years ago (in our 30s). The idea is you join a group with a shared hobby (hiking, coffee, languages, boardgames, the list goes on) and you meet in person to socialise. There are all ages on there, so definitely not a dating website, but people are often looking to make new friends and have new experiences. So if you're looking for a more organic connection, it might work for you.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 04/02/2024 20:43

My friend met her now DH OLD.

He had gone to a match & drinks with some work colleagues. She was supposed to collect him & a friend and her car broke down so she asked me to. (No idea why no one thought of a taxi!)

Anyway, I collected them. Dropped her DH home first & then his friend. Friend just kept talking & wouldn't get out of the car. I couldn't decide if he was funny or annoying.

Anyway, he got my number & texted me to say thanks & asked if he could take me for a drink to say thanks.

It went from there. Now over two years on and it's great. It's very normal & comfortable from the start, so much so at first I wondered if there was something wrong. No major highs and lows, no drama etc - it just works.

Noseylittlemoo · 04/02/2024 21:11

I support the previous suggestion of joining a running club if you like parkrun. Our running club meets at a sports club where people meet for a drink and chat after the run, so you get to meet different people than you might run with. They also hold social events like quiz nights, Xmas Dinner etc. I met my husband on a running holiday when I was 34 - we didn't get together for a few years but had bumped into each other at races and other camps in the mean time. It helped that we already knew we had lots in common.

TheSproutOfWrath · 04/02/2024 21:14

I met my husband at an Anti Racist demo. We bonded over laughing at the EDL.

Another2Cats · 04/02/2024 21:25

As with other replies, I met someone in my late 30s but this wasn't so recent. Maybe 10 years ago, so I don't know how relevant this still is.

I started going out dancing, doing things like Ceroc and West Coast Swing (other, similar, types of dance styles are also available).

I ended up making an awful lot of friends through dancing (even though I am an inveterate introvert by nature). I also, eventually, met a really nice guy.

Although, to be honest, there are a few men who go to these events who you really should be wary of, but that applies in any social setting.

Original poster
Mothersbeenabadgirl · 04/02/2024 21:39

Right, I'm going to a gaming café on Tuesday evening 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
Mothersbeenabadgirl · 04/02/2024 21:42

I've had a look at running clubs however without wanting to sound rude, it all looks like people who are twice my age sadly.

OP posts:
Ladyj84 · 04/02/2024 21:47

Yes we did, he worked at lidls,first date 24 hours later and never separated since now married and 4 kids lol

Dontkillspiders · 04/02/2024 21:50

All the time but I go out a lot although calmed down because of the weather but spring summer I'm always in fancy restaurants/clubs or festivals

TigerJoy · 04/02/2024 22:11

Well done for signing up for the board game event!

Don't worry about not knowing games, they'll teach you how to play. And even the biggest board game nerd won't know EVERY game. Nothing to be embarassed about!

Have a great time!

Wednesday6 · 04/02/2024 22:12

Some of my friends met by going through friends friends friends facebook or insta rather than old.. still social media but something different

Original poster
Mothersbeenabadgirl · 04/02/2024 22:14

TigerJoy · 04/02/2024 22:11

Well done for signing up for the board game event!

Don't worry about not knowing games, they'll teach you how to play. And even the biggest board game nerd won't know EVERY game. Nothing to be embarassed about!

Have a great time!

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 04/02/2024 23:48

One other thought, and this is quite left field. Get a dog. You meet tons of people while walking, and it keeps you fit.

helpnohelpno · 04/02/2024 23:51

I was 30 and I met dh through a friend. It was 15 years ago though so before dating apps became a big thing

FluffyChemical · 05/02/2024 12:13

Mothersbeenabadgirl · 04/02/2024 21:39

Right, I'm going to a gaming café on Tuesday evening 😬

Let us know how it goes! Have fun 😊

MrTiddlesTheCat · 05/02/2024 12:16

DH and I met when we were 30 at a beginners ballroom and latin american dancing class. I blame the tango.