AIBU when slagging off social media sites to family and other people I meet?

[DistinguishedSocialCommenator]

Thankfully no one in my immediate family uses Facebook, the new tiktoks and those others where I can't even recall the names of them

Most of us do use WhatsApp as it is free to chat and most of us older ones in the family only use PAYG mobile options and often pay in advance for calls on the landline which are often more clear and reliable, (Even with this I don't nor does my OH or children constantly update their status, we actually hide it I think you call it when others cant tell if we are using the WattsApp)

I could be getting an unbalanced view of Facebooks etc as we don't use them but all I hear and read in the media is the trouble it causes, fallouts etc over little things, EG, you did not thank me, you copied me, you ignored me, etc, etc,etd

AIBU trying to tell people I know and now grandchildren growing up I fear social media bullying etc, so AIBU telling them to steer clear of what IMO is total rubbish and you are better off out of them?

Social media isn't responsible.
Childish people will always be childish.
If it wasn't Facebook, it'd be how you looked at them funny in the co-op, or you didn't invite them for a coffee, or you walked straight past them or similar stupid shit.

Social media doesn't cause rows just like cars don't cause road rage for example.

It's people being people that's the problem. That's always the problem.

Who cares what you think really? You do you. Stop lecturing other people about it, they can make up their own minds.

I hear what you're saying OP.

Too often I've seen the aftermath of a FB fall out , teasing, mocking and bullying among young people. It's quite unnerving.

Similarly I've seen how younger people are so smitten by what they see on Instagram and seem to develop FOMO.

Just look at the angst of people who don't have an insta worthy body, home, facial features etc...

Loads of MN threads over the years complaining about likes, contact, status , messaging have made me feel smug that I have a life free of these things.

I like MN as it's a very interesting and often cosy platform of anonymous opinions , help and support.

TikTok has a lot to answer for.

TBH, social media (as in insta/tiktok) isn't very 'social' anymore, I'm not sure you even get bullying on it much as most of it has become too hard work to use as a tool to keep in touch with anyone, it's just an algorithm pushing content at you, and it's not worth creating content, because unless you're an influencer, the algorithm won't push you and the people you're connected to will have a hard time finding it. There's been quite a lot of articles about it like this one

https://www.forbes.com/sites/petersuciu/2023/11/16/social-media-isnt-really-all-that-social-anymore-can-it-be-again/

You can actually find quite a lot of interesting material on it on non-superficial stuff if you look for it; I have found some great commentators on TikTok for example about sociological and political topics who have drawn my attention to excellent podcasts, long-form video comment or articles.

Many thanks but I will continue in my quest as I've read too many stories about children getting bullied.
I was bullied at school (at school up to the (1970's) and once they got hold of out landline via phone book and did prank calls and called my name

These days, many who are bullied can at least get away from it at home but with social media - not so.

You've got smartphones these days and most parents dont have a clue how to control them or know whats going on - so social media does have its advantages if used properly, all I hear about is the negatives and that drives me to telling those I love and those that I see as friends etc to try and get them to keep off them

No, its not the same as MN and I've given a link to that.

Btw, you clearly did care as you responded, so thank you and I agree as per my OP, its up to people to decide but this is where I stand on it,

You need to teach the young people to follow actual cool things.
My fedd currently is as follows
StevenHe
Friend's bird pic
Very British problems
Dusty McDouglas
Family member's dinner pic
Heather Hutchison
Very British Problems
Friend
Friend
Brian Morabito

It's a very happy place!

However, I believe influencers who monetise should be absolutely held to high community standards and not present bullshit like fake make up, hired car as own etc. And nutritionists with 1 day course or whatnot should be flat out banned. Once people stop following them, they will dissappear

You sound exhausting but whatever 😂

It's not unreasonable to discuss the pitfalls of social media it is unreasonable to bang on about how much you hate it and berate others for using it. We all know how it works and are free to use it or not in a way we are comfortable. I personally have never had a fall out with anyone over something posted on FB, intsta etc nether has anyone I know. I think the folks who create drama on these things probably create drama generally in real life, some people thrive on it.

What did you want from this thread, OP?

Were you looking for people to provide you with some advantages to social media that you might have overlooked, or did you just want to tell us that you don't agree with it?

I'm pretty sure that it doesn't say anywhere in that link you shared about the definition of social media that it can't include sites where users can be anonymous, so your distinction between Mumsnet and other social media platforms is not correct. Besides, people can be anonymous on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok etc - they can choose any username they want.

It's quite funny that you are berating people about SM while knowing apparently very little about it. Social media can indeed be a menace, particularly for kids who are too young to be using it. I'm in my 50s and use FB to keep up with old friends, and Instagram to follow knitting accounts (ooh - dangerous). The only site I've ever found at all problematic in terms of nastiness and bullying is Mumsnet. It's a bit feisty here sometimes!

You can tell who you want. However, I do not think you are as important and influential as you think you are, and I imagine most will ignore you!

I'm staggered that you don't read the links that you post!

The first sentence of your link:

Social media encompasses all the platforms and apps that allow people, creators, and businesses to communicate with one another, create online communities, exchange ideas, and share content

which obviously includes mumsnet 🙄

Incompletesenten- I kinda disagree about your car comparison - they are at the very heart of the issue

AllProperTeaIsTheft yes, I definitely feel that one's experience of social media is down to what they're seeking out.

I had a friend the other day remark on what a cesspool of hate one of the SM sites is, which I found amusing as the same app is my happy place where I go for various support groups, fandoms and crafting tips - it's fascinating that other people are using the same app for all sorts of nastiness when it can be such a lovely place too.

I've never fallen out with anyone on Facebook.

I'm only friends with family and real life friends and use it for updates and keeping in contact with

If you accept 1000s of radons as friends and are insecure I can see why problems can arise but if you are a secure snd mature grown up then it's fine.

I use LinkedIn professionally. Never fallen out with anyone there either.

Sorry about the typos.

Op you can not like social media. You can not like the impression you have of it. Even if inaccurate.

I have plenty of social media. I love TikTok. Only post photography and don’t have my name on it. My feed is excel, power point, power BI tips, investments, dog videos, skin care, data discussion and so on. All thing I am interested in.

I have never fallen out with anyone on a social media platform.

People who do generally fall out with a lot of people in RL. For adults social media is what you make of it.

Not sure why you think your opinion is controversial. Long gone are the days of ‘I don’t do social media’ being something rare or unique. Some people do and some people don’t. It’s really ok.

and yes, MN is social media. There’s nothing in the definition of social media that suggests it’s only social media if you are posting in your real name.

Do you really believe the younger generation are going to listen to someone (you) who has little knowledge of SM and the modern world?
I'm a grandma too and fully admit I'm far behind the ball in todays tech world.
My grandma used to believe I'd get piles from sitting on cold steps/benches etc. I never did.
Going outside with wet hair will give you flu. Didn't happen.
And you must wear a vest to protect from chest infections.
Load of rubbish.
Maybe you could ask the younger generation to talk to you and explain SM today. You might learn something beneficial.

First post nailed it 😆

OP it's really none of your feckin business what social media apps other people choose to use!

AIBU when slagging off social media sites to family and other people I meet?

You are showing your ignorance. I only have Facebook, but I have it locked down to friends only.

I have joined local FB groups and find out things such as closed roads due to flooding/trees down/RTAs, details of local events and details of local businesses. I know why the council haven't emptied the bins, I have sold things. And most useful of all I have sourced local tradespeople - electrician, plumber, builder etc to carry out work. These are all by word of mouth from people living in my locality, and every single one has been excellent.

Basically I find it a very useful resource. All my Facebook friends are people I know and am friendly with personally and not random strangers.

No but they do have a thread in Site Stuff practically telling MN how to run the site including moaning about people changing usernames!

I’ve never fallen out with anyone on Facebook 🤣

My bit of it is a lovely place, easily keeping in touch with lives of friends, but recognising the limited and superficial nature of that. So I don’t replace actual conversation with Facebook - but it does mean when busy, I keep a link to what’s going on in their lives, which means when we’ve been busy it doesn’t feel too distant to pick up again.
I see lots of lovely pictures of friends’ achievements, thinks they’re proud of, things they love, things that make them laugh.
Yesterday I laughed out loud at a seagull scared of a cat, shared by a friend with similar sense of humour.

My corner of Facebook is a happy place, no angst, no drama. At the times when it’s unhappy (my friend used it to share details of her husband’s death and aftermath) it’s been a place of loving support.

It definitely enhances my life.

My teens like Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok - frequently helpful education stuff, as it happens! If you are doing GCSE Art, those are full of lovely wholesome content!

I think it's ok to give your opinion on matters. However your opinion would hold more weight if your research included experience or knowledge gained from sources other than 'what you've heard'.

And your OP refers to you 'telling' people to avoid Facebook. What gives you the right to do that?

Your communication style is quite patronising and dismissive. If you feel so strongly on this subject, perhaps try a softer influencing approach?

I agree with you that some social media sites have faults and can be a bully's playground. But there are strengths and positives too.

But... That ould takeaway the anonymity OP likes on here😂