My STBXH and I are separating. I have had to block his number as he keeps sending messages which I find aggressive and sometimes threatening. I have told him he can’t text me anymore and I am scared of how he will react. I have spent years feeling like I am walking on eggshells in case I upset him and although he hasn’t stopped me from seeing friends, if I do go out and see friends he will start saying things like, I need to do more around the house to make sure it’s clean. He did CBT for anger management but still flys off the handle.
I was ill a few years back and had a panic attack, he shouted at me and told me not to waste the hospitals time. I ended up driving myself to hospital. I believe a lot of the poor mental health has been caused by him as he has cheated, lied about taking out an IVA and got points on his licence for running over a dog (and poor dog died) and not reporting it. He acted normal afterwards and didn’t say anything to me until about a month later when the police contacted him and said they had footage of him in the hit and run. I was nearly sick when he told me as he had been continuing on as normal. He said that he kept having nightmares about it but didn’t do any counselling etc to get over the trauma of it!
We broke up over the summer and took it in turns to stay at the house and I had tried to get him to move out and find his own place, but he wasn’t proactive. I got back together with him partly because his mum was so upset with me and partly to protect him from STBXH behaviour. It scared me so I have no idea what that just feel like for DS. Speaking to my mum, she thinks I should STBXH enough rope and agree and see how long he can deal with being a single parent. He’s only once taken a day off work to look after DS and the day to day parenting is usually on me (but I just do it). I sort out summer holidays, play dates etc.
so now that we have broken up, STBXH has been texting me all day when I am at work. I said to him before that we should keep communication brief and I try and tell him anything he needs to know before he goes to work, so he doesn’t have to contact me. he has been asking silly questions like sending our landlady’s email address and asking if that’s the correct email ( I forwarded him the contact a few days prior) /Telling me when he will change the utilities over to his name / asking if the mediator I have booked is independent. He text me yesterday accusing me of only wanting to have DS more so that I can claim benefits. He says that his chances of renting our current place are narrowing l. Bearing in mind he is in an iva which has recently finishes (it shows up on the insolvency register still). I decided not to respond at all. When I spoke to my solicitor she said I should block him as he’s being abusive, so I did. He found me on WhatsApp earlier and asked if I’d blocked his texts. I didn’t confirm or deny, but when I got home and asserted my boundaries - he should only contact me in an emergency or about arrangements for our son, he said “whatever, if you want to be weird about it that’s fine”. I said that I’m not being weird, I’m just setting boundaries as I found his messages aggressive - to which he replied - don’t be so stupid. I guess what I should have said is that I find it weird that he’s still texting me all the time like he used to and asking me questions he frankly doesn’t need to!
AIBU to block his number?