To be disappointed in DB/DSIL

[farmlife11]

My DB/DSIL have form for being incredibly tight with money when buying gifts for my DC whilst expecting far more for their own DC. We each have two DC. Their income far exceeds our's and their outgoings are far less ( we know for a fact as they have told us). Every Christmas and birthday we ask what their DC might like so we do not duplicate etc. We want to buy their DC something that they will like. Their suggestions are about the £25 mark which we are happy to pay. This however, is not reciprocated. It was recently my DDS birthday and tbh, I was disappointed with the gift they bought. It wasn't even age appropriate (think Peppa Pig for a ten year old girl). To add insult to injury, my SIL told us what a bargain this gift was for £4. I was brought up to be grateful for any gift and I have tried to instil this into my own DC but tbh, I am struggling with this one.

Regift it back to the older child for their birthday.

😂 Now there's a thought!

5 in a card going forward. The cheek of her of telling you the gift was 4. Be prepared for some sort of backlash because people like these can't handle their own medicine. Remind her of the 4 pound bargain and ask her why that's ok?

I’m all for a bargain but it has to fit and be appropriate for the child.

Work to their budget. Along a fiver at a gift or stick a few coins in a card with a bag of haribo old school granny style.

I have a CF sil that openly says what her son wants for his birthday but has not once asked what ours do. When dh did tell bil one year that our son was massively into transformers and anything related would be great they gave him something that was clearly for their son but had been duplicated. He is older than our son by 3 years so it wasn't age appropriate and I had to put it away. At that point dn was an only child and we had two kids, I very much felt that they begrudge spending on ours. Dh would ask them too what he wanted which would annoy me as they never reciprocated, he did stop when he saw they didn't make the same effort. I'm not one for allowing resentment to build and so when sil tried the same when she had her dd I told her that was great and at least she knew what to get her child, that we'd be getting dn something based on our budget in the exact way that they do and have always done for our kids. Mil too said dn is older and has preferences now and I responded that my children do too! They too have a higher income then ours.

To save drama you could just do whatever amount suits in a card but I find cf ought to be shut down or they carry on.

Regift Peppa Pig to SIL x

Stop asking what they want! Put a fiver in their card. Move on!

A SIL of mine ( now ex) bought my kids presents with the $2 sticker still on them we'd spent about $40 per child on hers. Her husband was a multi-millionaire.

Is your DCs the first birthday of this calendar year? If so, after the £4 gift you could speak up now rather than wait for the full cycle to complete. ‘Hey SIL, I’ve been thinking ahead of the next birthday that I’ll struggle with ideas for a small present for DN so wondered about spending a little more but doing the kitty for an activity idea? Then sell the virtues of that, how it gets you spending time together, less plastic tat to landfill, a day for you adults where you know the kids are occupied etc. your DC would get the treat day out plus their £4 present in the end.

My bil and sil were far better off than us, we had just moved house, and were a little overstretched! She suggested that we didn't buy presents for each other, but spend money on the children in our families, I willingly agreed as she had a habit of buying me things like tea towels!
So I spent more than usual on their children, I think I bought them both a medium set of lego, which cost £10 to £15 (40 years ago) they bought my 2 a set of 5 lead pencils each. This was the last in a long history of mean manipulations!

@queenMab99

"This was the last in a long history of mean manipulations!"

It's going to be the same here. Treat as I find now.