To ask what good things you've gained from previous relationships?

[BodiesHitTheFloor]

Lighthearted only plz

I've been reflecting recently and realised a lot of things that I consider a part of myself now wouldn't be so it weren't for an ex. For example, my love of hip hop, computer coding, repair and building, playing guitar, knowing a different language - there are more i'm sure but these came to mind instantly. (not all the same guys) What love letters has your soul been left by a love that's long since been burned out?

I often think of my ex's dad if I make scrambled eggs. He taught me to take it off the heat before it's completely cooked. He was a nice man.

I learned how to make a roast dinner from my first love

Travel..how much l love it . I was 16 he was 17.
Together 12 years ..one daughter.. he taught me to ride a motorbike.. we rode all over Europe..

From my first boyfriend and his lovely family, I learnt about kindness and how decent people live. It was a revelation and I used them as a benchmark of how I wanted my life to be.

He taught me that life is too short.
Myself and the child we shared watched him pass away from cancer when he was in his 30s.
I now have a completely different outlook on life.

@07whatever I'm so sorry- something like this gives you a totally different perspective

Two wonderful children. And whatever you do in life have a will, it was bloody handy when he died (no I don’t miss him!).

Respectfully, I did request light hearted responses only. Trying to move past my own bereavement and was really trying to keep it light.

@Moier This is my favourite post 😍

@Meadowfinch This is really beautiful

A love of the art world. I had no idea before - it really opened my eyes.

I feel like this belongs here... My husband taught me how to be accountable, ho w to recognise when im wrong and most importantly, how to say sorry.

I've had great sex with some exs. Now post menopause I'm glad I've got those memories. I've enjoyed the different phases I've been through. One had me interested in architecture/interior design. Another camping, fishing and hiking. The pub scene phase was good. Like yourself my taste in music has been expanded.

@Ponoka7 Fishing! Thats another, i would have never before... Its one of favourite pastimes now...

The importance of discipline and self care; since then my view on how I treat and nourish my body has changed completely. All sorts of recipes and fancy cooking techniques. Wanting more for myself and believing that anything is possible.

My ex got me into Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. Still two of my favourite authors 30 years later.

It's almost enough for me to forgive him for also leaving me with cold sores

@PeloMom i think this might be my favourite message of the thread

A Rolex

A really good rucksack.

Probably my entire IT career, as I probably wouldn't have done an intro to Unix and intro to programming 1 day courses if I hadn't been curious about what he did all day at work.

Greatly improved German from another. Dutch for another. Aspects of history. Various songs and CDs and books are associated with various men (and with various school and uni friends and family, to be fair - not just lovers.)

A necklace and some lingerie.

And the memories. I do have some lovely memories.

I hope that in return, they have memories of great sex, and that they learnt things from me, too. And always have a slight pang of regret that maybe I was the one that they should have tried harder to stay with... (I'm not stupid enough to actually go and ask the ones I'm still in touch with.)

Big scruffy hoody that I’m wearing right now

Excellent illuminated magnifying mirror

A Strokes CD that I pilfered from him when we split up

Monopoly

A copy of Hate comic (grungy vibe), sent to me when I was working abroad, lovely surprise

Nutrition book and a Kit-Kat tin box

(All from different boyfriends.)

Various bands/singers. I think I could attribute appreciation of one to each ex.

Dance music, happy, carefree memories of discovery like a pp said.

A knowledge of bikes and cycling - I still find myself assessing a cyclists' gait and judging them on how flappy their clothing is, size of their calves and quality of their tyres if I'm driving behind one or over taking (at a very respectful and considerate distance!)

Good things from an albeit particularly unreliable ex-bf was a sense of fun and playfulness. He delighted in being a bit silly - running round like a kid with the kids. He helped me stop being quite so serious and responsible. He disappeared and I should be more cross but he added a new dynamic to mine and the kids relationship so I can't be!