School concerns

[Pix82]

Am I being unreasonable for feeling angry?
my children’s school headteacher called my child a ‘square peg in a round hole’ when I said I had concerns about him.
she also told me she would tell the children she would be installing a camera in our house to make sure the children were getting ready for school due to their attendance being low. They both have a lot of medical appointments currently. (My daughter is being bullied and is scared to go to school. They are complaining about her attendance. Some days I dont send her in as she has started to hurt herself due to anxiety of going). I’d value your opinions. Am I being over protective or am I right to feel so cross with the unprofessional “support” I am being given

YANBU at all by the sound of it. She’s failing in her duty to keep your DD safe and sounds absolutely ghastly. I’d be following the school’s complaints procedure and escalating it to the governors (and potentially Ofsted). Is moving schools an option? Easier said than done I know, but this is what we did in similar circumstances and my DC is thriving at the new school.

thanks So much for responding. There’s so much more to the story too! She wears hearing aids and has got the point of being very aware of them and likes to remove them. I said I’d been concerned that she felt conscious about wearing them and worries she would miss things if not hearing as well as she could. HT said well then we will have to go with the Stick Method….. I’ll tell her we will be checking and if she is not wearing them she will miss play time and lunch time !!!!

this was after I’d explained how distressed she was at coming to school at the moment and needed lots of positive support.

it all just feels very threatening and not at all supportive or caring !

God she sounds dreadful! Does your DD have a teacher of the deaf? A ToD should be visiting the school to give advice- the head clearly has no deaf awareness if she thinks this is the way to deal with your DDs anxieties. Even a mild hearing loss can have a huge impact on a child's experience at school. She needs support not chastisement! ( I am a ToD and have very little patience for heads and teachers like this! )

Hi. Yes she does have a Tod and has recently had a session where the class were given a deaf awareness session. She felt really positive coming home that day but the following day came home having taken out her aids and upset about wearing them. There’s a lot going on for her at the moment bless her. We have been looking to find another school but so may of our local ones are full with a waitlist 😢
The pastoral support there is horrendous and I’d love to move her. I didn’t think it would be wise to begin with as she doesn’t cope well with change BUT yesterday she asked to look at a new school for her 🥰

The comment about the camera is terrible and if she ever actually says that, I would report her (to the LA or governors), as that is not on. What is being done about the bullying to ensure your daughter can feel safe in class and between lessons? Tbh moving school (with a robust letter setting out exactly why as you go) is likely to be the easiest and quickest way to resolve things.

Do persevere with the waiting lists for other schools OP - we had to wait a few months for a place to come up but it was so worth it. My DD also really struggles with change (AuDHD) but getting out of a toxic environment honestly transformed her confidence. I did everything I could to kick up a fuss at the old school but it took a new HT for it to start to improve, by which time we were long gone! Your poor DD, I really feel for her (and you!) Great that she’s feeling positive about the possibility of moving. Best of luck 💐

How old is she? Does she have an EHCP and are school implementing it? Why is your other child's attendance also low? First stop is Sendco, then follow complaints process to head and governors.

Hi I was just reading this thread. How's it going ? That HT sounds dreadful.

Basicly she's saying school and them do not mix, I don't see much problem with that comment, at least she's recognised an issue and doesn't just think you can't be bothered taking them.
The camera thing I'm not sure, but I do think it is just a way to try and help you get the kids to school.

If you kids attendance is low and your daughter hates the school so much, then she needs a new school. If she's not happy there find a new school.

Report her for that camera comment. That is outrageous!