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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Leaving 5 year old in electric car

26 replies

yellowsunflowercup81 · 03/02/2024 21:30

Hi, just wondering what people think about this. My son's dad (we're separated) often leaves him in the car. I don't have a car so no idea if this is safe or ok. It's usually when he's charging it, so he'll leave him in it and go and do something else, like go to the supermarket, or go and do laundry. It's an electric car so I guess that would be minimum 10 minutes, max half an hour, more? no idea, also I have no idea if you can lock someone in an electric car? Is it safe, can they still get out if they need to? Can he start the car? He is a very inquisitive child.

And then he also does it when he visits someone who lives in a remote village. There he doesn't have sight of the car, its on a driveway out of sight from house, and he wouldn't be able to hear either as its an old big stone house. Thats because my son doesn't like the old woman he visits so he's left in the car with the ipad. Today it was for a couple of hours as there was a 60th party, he took food out to him apparently but that was it - my son wet himself sitting in the car (he told me as he came back with no pants on) - he never has accidents at home anymore - I have another son who is 11 and filled in the details and sense checked the youngest's story...

Two questions, is this safe? what do people think? do other people do this?
My feeling is this isn't right, or safe, but he's always accusing me of being a "helicopter parent" so just want to fact check this first with a load of strangers who don't know me or him and the background. Thanks.

OP posts:
POTC · 03/02/2024 21:33

Ignoring the first part - leaving him in the car out of sight for 2 hours so he can socialise is definitely not okay!!

chloechloe · 03/02/2024 21:33

The electric car has nothing to do with this. He shouldn’t be leaving a 5 year old on his own while he goes somewhere else full stop!

Ihaterhymingrabbit · 03/02/2024 21:34

What the fuck? You don’t know that it’s not ok for someone to leave their 5 year old locked in a car by themselves for up to half an hour and let them wet themselves while they attend a party????

He’s a bastard but you need to fix up, look sharp and do something to stop this.

Tallulahss · 03/02/2024 21:35

I would think whether the car is electric is irrelevant I would not be happy if my 5 yr old was left in a car for a couple of hours so that his dad could go to a party!!!!!

TooBusyGazingAtStarss · 03/02/2024 21:36

This cannot be real..

CoffeeBeansGalore · 03/02/2024 21:36

No it's not ok. Have you seen the videos of electric cars catching fire? A child that young should not be left alone out of sight in any car.

LambriniBobinIsleworth · 03/02/2024 21:39

Yeah, it's fine as the car is electric. If it was a petrol car it would be an absolute no, but an electric car? No problem at all.

Come on, mate. Confused

Popcorn23 · 03/02/2024 21:39

This is terrible and obviously not OK! That poor kid!

Firecarrier · 03/02/2024 21:41

Electric cars have been known to catch fire

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 03/02/2024 21:42

No. Once when we were outside the car and DS was inside he took the handbrake off and the car rolled down the slope! All OK thankfully. But also, electric cars are funny buggers. Loads of things have gone wrong with ours. What if your ex couldn't get the door open?

QuillBill · 03/02/2024 21:44

It's not even a Tesla with 'pet mode' if he has to use an ipad.

Anyway, if course it's not OK. Regardless of the fuel type of the vehicle.

Tryingtokeepcalmandcarryon · 03/02/2024 21:48

I’ve never heard of anyone ever locking their child in a car whilst they go to a party, let alone leaving them there long enough that they wet themselves. My daughter would be traumatised. Please don’t let this happen again and if someone saw him they could report him to social services

alexdgr8 · 03/02/2024 21:49

need to try harder, methinks.

Mumaway · 03/02/2024 21:52

Regardless of the type of car, he shouldn't be leaving a child of that age unsupervised.

My car has 'dog mode', which disabled controls and maintains a reasonable temperature. It also has a warning that it is not to be used for children.....

PonyPatter44 · 03/02/2024 21:54

Saturday night, isn't it?

mollyfolk · 03/02/2024 22:36

Have no clue about the electric car. I’ve always left my kids to pay for petrol. There is the very odd time when one of them is sick that I’ve left the oldest with a smaller one when I run into the shop for essentials. That would be for max 10 mins. Half an hour is too long and 2 hours is just not ok at all.

TellerTuesday · 03/02/2024 23:09

Absolutely fine if it's electric. Total no no for a petrol or diesel though.

FFS this can't possibly be real

yellowsunflowercup81 · 04/02/2024 09:07

Thanks for your comments. Obviously I don't think its ok but I just wanted to know what other people who weren't the same as me thought. Parents have different views on leaving children. And the family court does too. It's pretty difficult to prove this stuff as it ends up being a he said/she said thing I'm trying to guage how dangerous it is, and how I can keep my child safe. If the family court says they have to see their dad its pretty hard to stop that even if he's doing stuff like this. I wondered if electric cars had other extra dangers that I don't know about compared to a petrol/diesel car. And seems like there is - catching fire, getting locked in etc etc. Thanks.

OP posts:
yellowsunflowercup81 · 04/02/2024 09:10

@Ihaterhymingrabbit Thanks for your comments. Obviously I don't think its ok but I just wanted to know what other people who weren't the same as me thought. Parents have different views on leaving children. And the family court does too. It's pretty difficult to prove this stuff as it ends up being a he said/she said thing I'm trying to guage how dangerous it is, and how I can keep my child safe. If the family court says they have to see their dad its pretty hard to stop that even if he's doing stuff like this. I wondered if electric cars had other extra dangers that I don't know about compared to a petrol/diesel car. And seems like there is - catching fire, getting locked in etc etc. Thanks.

OP posts:
BritneyBookClubPresident · 04/02/2024 10:46

yellowsunflowercup81 · 03/02/2024 21:30

Hi, just wondering what people think about this. My son's dad (we're separated) often leaves him in the car. I don't have a car so no idea if this is safe or ok. It's usually when he's charging it, so he'll leave him in it and go and do something else, like go to the supermarket, or go and do laundry. It's an electric car so I guess that would be minimum 10 minutes, max half an hour, more? no idea, also I have no idea if you can lock someone in an electric car? Is it safe, can they still get out if they need to? Can he start the car? He is a very inquisitive child.

And then he also does it when he visits someone who lives in a remote village. There he doesn't have sight of the car, its on a driveway out of sight from house, and he wouldn't be able to hear either as its an old big stone house. Thats because my son doesn't like the old woman he visits so he's left in the car with the ipad. Today it was for a couple of hours as there was a 60th party, he took food out to him apparently but that was it - my son wet himself sitting in the car (he told me as he came back with no pants on) - he never has accidents at home anymore - I have another son who is 11 and filled in the details and sense checked the youngest's story...

Two questions, is this safe? what do people think? do other people do this?
My feeling is this isn't right, or safe, but he's always accusing me of being a "helicopter parent" so just want to fact check this first with a load of strangers who don't know me or him and the background. Thanks.

WTF!

I would be calling the police and social services as your ex had no idea how to keep children safe

JustFrustrated · 04/02/2024 10:59

Firecarrier · 03/02/2024 21:41

Electric cars have been known to catch fire

No more so than normal cars.

Hybrids the most often
Then ICE
Then fully EV.

That being said, no he shouldn't be leaving your child alone for that long.

youwillbepk · 04/02/2024 13:55

I would consider this a safeguarding concern leaving your child alone for long periods of time. A car is no safer then any other space. It's a lack of parental supervision. Any number of things could go wrong. Call your local children's social care and ask for advice and raise your concerns.

TulipCat · 04/02/2024 14:03

It doesn't matter what kind of car it is. Leaving a small child in there unattended and out of sight for ages is supremely unsafe.

Deathbyfluffy · 04/02/2024 14:06

Childcare issues aside, I have a background in electronics and the LAST place I’d leave a child or pet is in an electric car being charged up.

Thermal runaway happens in battery packs very quickly, with little that can be done to stop it.

mammaCh · 05/02/2024 09:45

Oh hell no. That's incredibly dangerous. I would absolutely not let him be let in his care again.
If your ex doesn't think this is an issue please tell the school, then you'll see who is in the wrong. They won't let this happen either.