Did we pay too much?

[DidWePayTooMuch]

NC to post this but mumsnet can confirm I’m a long time member.

please be kind I’m feeling very vulnerable and mentally stressed right now, there is no way I’m doing this for a “stealth boost” as I imagine some posters will say as I’ve seen in similar threads.

so my issue is I feel we paid too much for the house we own right now. We bought it end of 2022 just before the prices fell I believe. I can’t talk to DH about this as he also I think feels this way and all his savings etc. went into this house. He has never worried about money in his entire life but it feels since we got this house he stresses about everything. We have cancelled all our subscriptions and are very frugal with everything now. He was never this stressed in all the years I have known him. I feel stupid and annoyed I talked DH into buying this home and I feel all the neighbours are laughing at us. It’s a new build and a neighbour very bluntly told us he bought his house a year before us and paid £250, 000 LESS than what we paid, I do believe our home is slightly better than his but not by much but it is slightly bigger and has a bigger garden.

I have a sinking feeling that I can’t explain almost everyday I think how stupid we have been. Just for context there have been 3 houses out on sale after we bought and all 3 are still on the market and have reduced prices. I don’t know what I’m looking for in posting this but just wanted it off my chest as I cannot talk to my family or friends as they will just think I’m trying to show off etc. as some are really struggling right now.

I really think we paid £100,000 more than we should have.

Its all part of life,with hindsight i am sure most people would have invested differently atsome point in their life. If you like it and don’t plan on moving anytime soon then move on from it.

We paid too much for our last house - about £30,000 too much which was a lot 14 years ago. It didn't increase in value for about 4 years but then did. I worried about it for ages but we made a significant profit on it when we moved to this one and had paid off a chunk of the mortgage by then.

DH didn't worry because he loved the house and there was still stuff to do to it which would add to the value and, as far as he was concerned, we were staying for ever. It was in a great place and we were really happy there. I took longer to love it because I loved our previous house (which had been my house) and really missed that, but I grew to love it .I still think of it as our house and we moved out several years ago.

House prices went up after a slow blip, salaries increased, we both had promotions.

If you are staying, stop worrying.

I bought a house at the peak of the market in 2007 just before the global market crash. Even worse I had a 100% mortgage (I know, I know!!!). And even worse than that, it was with Northern Rock who had to be bailed out by the government so no way to remortgage after the fixed period ended. I was one of the “mortgage prisoners” that’s often talked about.

I stayed there for 14 years and sold at the end of last year (missed the peak and sold when prices were diving downwards -duh!).

Despite some very dire circumstances and bad decisions made by me, when I sold my house last year I still made around 40% profit compared to the 2007 purchase price. Plus I had the equity from the part of the mortgage I’d paid off.

It just shows that even if you do make daft decisions, if you sit tight you can still emerge with a positive outcome. The property market dips and peaks but overall the trend is always upwards.

As others have said, your home isn’t an investment. Forget the pound signs, you can afford it. The house suits you and you feel safe. How wonderful!

Comparison is so often the thief of joy.

House prices go up and down. You may have paid more than it’s worth now, but then again you may have sold your old house for more than it’s worth now.
i once lost a load of money on some shares I bought, but have also made money on other shares. It is what it is, you aren’t in financial ruin, enjoy your new home.

Almost everybody has tales of wins and losses on the property rollercoaster over their lifetime. I have bought at the top of the market a few times, it all smooths out in the end and my children would laugh if I told them how the house I bought in 1988 "lost" me £10k. The thing that matters is making a house your home, memories, events, favourite pictures etc. Its where you live your life, not a hard investment

I know it's gutting but don't beat yourself up for not having a crystal ball. This is the way the housing market works and we are all just riding the waves. You paid the price it cost you to buy a home at the moment you were ready. There's no way you could have done any differently.

First of all I would try to stop thinking of the value of your home in monetary terms. It's a secure base, a place of your own, somewhere you can return to happily and be surrounded by loved ones. It's a home, not an asset, first and foremost. (Especially as you don't intend to sell for the time being.) Fill it with joy and happy memories, not regret.

Secondly, you are very lucky to have been able to afford a home, even at the high end of the market! And now you can still afford the repayments. So you're only badly off if you make comparisons. So stop making comparisons. It really is the thief of joy.

When you think of it, almost EVERYONE in the country bought their house when prices were lower than what you paid, by dint of the market trend being upwards over the last decades (setting aside the current downturn), so you'll never be happy if you judge your own fortune by that standard.

I think it's incredibly unlikely that a neighbour bought a very similar house for £250k less, in 2021 when prices were still high, but as others have said you can easily check this.

Your DH was a bit ridiculous to not offer less for fear of hurting the seller's feelings though!

You probably got a good price for your house when you sold it, and the people you bought your current house from also got a good price……enabling them to buy something nice too! It’s all just a big circle. Occasionally someone gets an amazing deal or someone pays a bit over the odds but in the long run it usually all works out pretty even.
Enjoy feeling safe and be happy that you have a nice home in a good area.

Whatever you put your focus on becomes your reality. Right now, out of all the things you could be focusing on about this house, you’re thinking about this, and making yourself unhappy.

Houses need love and care to turn them into homes. Sometimes we need to start with care before we can love it. It’s easy to put things on the long finger, especially when money is tight, but don’t neglect small jobs and small improvements because you can’t afford the big vision yet. And practise focusing on the positives because it will help with the stress.

Being a good and decent person costs - ethical living can be expensive. Your dh sounds like a fundamentally good man and £100,000 is only money at the end of the day.

Happened us in 2008. We paid about 70k more for a tiny 3 bed semi with no utility or garage than what the biggest 5 bedroom, utility room, double gagged and kitchen that was very top of the range , detached house sold for.

I have no advise but I sympathise because it impacted us ( and still does) for years. All our friends had big massive house, paying less mortgage but the reality is it's done now op so I promise that I sympathise with you x

There is a lot to be said about a safe area - a huge amount, actually. Ok, the kitchen is small, but in time you might be able to extend. For now, you’re in there and I’d try to focus on the good points.

Lesson to us all - don’t take the parents with you when you view. We didn’t when we first bought as we’re 80 miles away. We’re talking about buying nearer to them in a while and something was said that suggested they might want to come along when we viewed - we’ve decided that will not be happening.

Not read full thread, but I imagine that you sold your previous house at the top of the market as well, so probably got a much better price for it than if you were to do that now. In some ways it is the difference between the two houses that counts, not the absolute price. So if you upgraded by an additional (eg) £150k from what you sold to what you bought, you would prob have had to do the same had you done it now (ie sold for less, but bought for less as well).

And, re fluctuations in house market - it is only a problem if you HAVE to sell now, otherwise sit tight, and let the market come back up again. A couple of points - a bigger garden can be a real asset, if you landscape it beautifully and really make it work for your house (rather than just a larger square of lawn), then that would add value but also would massively enhance saleability (ie quick sale, and competing buyers down the line). Another thing I would say is that having to cut back - and getting used to that - is no bad thing. If I were you, I would try and stick with a more frugal lifestyle afterwards, even when things become financially easier, as it is honestly shocking how much money can be frittered away without realising. (When my dc was tiny, I used to go to Costa for lunch a few times a week (and when I added up how much that was costing, over the course of a year I was horrified by the amount I had wasted!! We are talking ££££s £20+ a time, £60+ a week, £240+ a month, approx £3000 a year….).
Check your mortgage terms, and whenever you can, pay down a capital sum on your mortgage (ours allows up to 10 per cent overpayment each year) - as this will massively reduce the length of mortgage, and interest you will pay over the long term. So don’t go to Costa (like I stupidly did), put the money towards paying down the mortgage and life will get easier!!

It’s hard to pay at the top of the market and then go into a phase of price fall and recession. But if this is a long term home it will even out in the long run.

I feel all the neighbours are laughing at us.

I can assure you theyre not as people base their own houses prices of what others paid so even if the value is down the fact that people like you & your husband are moving in shows the area/style/size is still desirable

*also this is litterally called 'buyers remorse' so you're not alone

OP. It sounds like you did your best to secure a suitable home in a difficult market if all the other properties were quickly under offer.

I also felt we paid way too much for our house, considering the amount of work involved, and other houses in better condition sold for not a great deal more. But after a few years this became irrelevant.

It also sounds like the area is sought after and will continue to be, so you haven't made a poor investment. Check the sales websites as advised to find out the real sale prices. I wouldn't tell neighbours too much of your personal business. Some people love to say they got an amazing bargain and exaggerate the size of it. There may be a reason why they paid less.

Also. It sounds as if most of the work was done, so that's one less thing to pay for (it can get very expensive!)

Yes, things are tight with the cost of living crisis, and the first few years after a move always seem hard, but eventually things get easier. Or one finds ways of earning a bit more.

Enjoy your new home and try not to worry about things you can't do much about

I know that money is tight just now but as it eases off, consider overpaying your mortgage (even if just by £20 a month).

Even if you have overpaid, it's a good way to see how much you can claw back. The MSE calculator is good https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/mortgage-overpayment-calculator/

Loads of people were in negativity equity after 2008 but most of those houses which people 'over paid' on went for considerably more in the last few years.

Also, work is so expensive that cheaper houses may well have cost you just as much when you add it all up

The thing is, comparing prices to a year before and a year after you bought tells you nothing anyway. You might as well be comparing prices in Preston, Sheffield and Basingstoke.

And you are looking only at negative comparisons. Could you have got it for £100k less? Well, maybe. But probably just as likely that you would have offered £100k less and on the same day someone else would have offered the asking price, and then your situation would have been worse.

You are in a nice house that you liked enough to buy. You can afford it even though you have to cut back a little. Life is better than you think.

(edited for typos)

Thank you so much everyone. I’ve been reading all your messages and taking on board what has been said. To answer some questions:

1). I’ve checked Zoopla, right move and another site I can’t remember name of and that neighbour was telling the truth he did pay much much less than us but looking at the floor plans on right move ours is slightly bigger also the important thing his garden is very overlooked but ours is a corner plot and it’s not overlooked at all. We never use the garden btw! Which is a shame but that’s definitely a positive.

2). I do like some aspects of our home but size wise I do feel our living room and kitchen was much larger in old house but we do have an extra 2 bedrooms here so space is more.

I do think over time I will love it but right now I feel it’s not my home. Neighbours are not that talkative (apart from the one who told us we overpaid), I just feel there’s no community here like in our old place but I suppose in a way the quieter environment is actually better.

It's easy to get yourself wound up about this, but there is literally nothing you can do. Prices go up and down, right now it might feel they have gone down since you bought but it is only temporary. Prices only trend in one direction - it will be worth more than you paid for it sooner than you think, via inflation alone if nothing else

It can be hard but you made the decision at the time based on the info you had, so you need to make peace with it and just look forward.

A house is just a load of bricks after all, it is what you do inside it which is what life is all about - houses don't make people happy, they are just where you store you possessions

Yeah OP houses that 'look' the same on RM can be very different IRL. Differences that affect the price.
I've seen new builds where some faced the noisy/busy roads, others further into the estate were quieter. hence a big difference in price.

A house is only worth what the buyer pays for it. So at the time that you bought it may well have been a more competitive time on the market so you paid what you did to secure the house. Prices will fluctuate but as a long term investment it will probably rise in value. I sometimes look at what we have spent on the house in terms of improvements/ extensions and think if we sold now we would only break even. But we'll be here for at least another 15 years so not really something I worry about.