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AIBU?

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AlBU for feeling upset?

31 replies

efn · 03/02/2024 19:13

My husband 37M and I 30F separated a couple of months ago because of a range of behaviours I couldn't tolerate anymore.
One of those behaviours where him texting random women on insta and Facebook.
He was telling me that he has changed and that he wants me back and I told him I don't trust you as you have done this many times.
He said that he was doing it because I am a very masculine women as I know how to use a combi drill and do manly jobs in the house like install furniture ,landscape garden ,lay wooden flooring etc.
I have been doing these the past year before the separation because we bought a old house and I wanted to help and put the skills I had into work.
I need to note that I also used to do the housework and the cooking as well.
I told him that I would rather prefer to think of myself as a capable woman and not masculine as my appearance is that of a woman but during the works I let myself go because of exhaustion.
So he says that any man I meet in the future will think the same for me and that really upset me because I don't want to change who I am but I can't help thinking if he is right ?
I told him any future man that wants to be with me should appreciate me for this quality and accept me as I am but then I started having these doubts as I wouldn't know the men's perspective into this.

OP posts:
Daisy12Maisie · 03/02/2024 19:52

In my experience men don't like you not being able to do those things and are unhelpful when you want them to help you so you can't win either way. You are not doing anything wrong by having a skill! You sound like you are well rid of him and he doesn't sound trustworthy

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 03/02/2024 19:52

Men that don't like capable women are ones that lack confidence and self esteem, they also tend to big themselves up by putting such women down. Who the fuck wants a man like that anyway...?

GlitterBall91 · 03/02/2024 20:00

You sound like an absolute boss !! He is so wrong !!

Cattymonster · 03/02/2024 20:56

What an absolutely worthless dick. I envy your DIY skills, and it sounds as though he does too. You'll be so much better off without him.

ThinWomansBrain · 03/02/2024 21:00

he's a twat
tell him to communicate through your solicitor and block him.

beetr00 · 03/02/2024 21:16

@efn he is insecure and totally intimidated by you.

You are valuable, attractive, and enough just the way you are,

and you have mad DIY skillz too. 👑

DO NOT doubt yourself!! the guy is a fool.

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