‘Teaching’ 6 year old about periods

[Adviceplease82]

I am a single mum and it is just myself and my son who is 6.
we are due to go on holiday soon and I will be on my period for some of this time. On the first day of my period I do not want to swim. I am incredibly heavy and just do not want to.
My initial thought was to be open with my son as to why, however a friend made me think twice saying she hadn’t yet spoken to her 8 year old daughter about this subject.
I am really open with him in general and would do it in an age appropriate way (or try to)
my thinking was/ is that I don’t see any harm in him knowing this is something females go through and I don’t need to make a big deal about it.
or am I unreasonable and is it inappropriate for him to learn some basics at his age?

I’m stunned you’ve managed to change your tampons for this long without a child barging in asking why you’re putting a mouse up your bum

This made me laugh, but yep DS has been asking about tampons since he was about 3 and first spotted them in my bag. He was most put out that I wouldn’t let him have a look up there to see where they go

I thought it best to be told young and find it normal than suddenly discovered at age 7 or 8 and be worried or upset or misinformed.

I've told my 4 year old DS about periods, because he asked when he saw my reusable pads drying with the rest of the laundry. I generally answer all of his questions about male and female bodies and how babies are made and are born etc, as and when he asks them.

I remember being told about periods in junior school by my mum, and even though she did her best to explain it all factually, I was absolutely distraught that this awful thing would happen to me every month and it didn't happen to boys. I think if I'd grown up with it being spoken about normally it wouldn't have been such a big deal.

Why at a set age, surely you've just mention it from toddler age? Using the words 'found out' make it into a big deal.

I've spoken to both of mine about it since they were tiny, and one asked why I was putting a rocket up my bum in a public loo! They'll both be starting soon and I'm not worried as they're both very matter of fact about it. We've also spoken about babies, sex, masturbation etc in age appropriate ways, it's important to prepare children I think

Yanbu.

Fwiw I've heard great things about the swimming period bottoms so if you're heavy it maybe worth investing in some for those days you do have your period and feel up for swimming. They can be worn as extra protection with a tampon if you want.

Yanbu at all.

And fwiw I so t think all children necessarily know or pay that much attention from a young age. Not all children are as inquisitive as others.

I'm a LP who never hid anything from ds but he just paid no attention and never questioned what I was doing and why there was blood 🤷‍♀️

My kids knew about periods by age 3. They’d seen tampons at home and they asked what the bins were in the cubicles of public loos. A big pro of telling them early is that they treat it very matter of fact. My son at age 4 helpfully told the person behind the till, where I was going to insert the tampons that he’d just scanned 😳

Some kids can start to understand those things but some don't care / can't understand.

Is a Diva cup an option? I have menhorraghia and they work for me reslly well. I can live a normal life now.

We had the talk at Primary school it age 8/9 that was perfect a year before some girls starter to go through puberty.

If my Mum had a chat to me at 6 about it I would be clueless. I don't intend to have that chat with my kids until 8/9 snd everything before will be basic and age appropriate.

I've always been open with my kids about periods - right from my 3 yo daughter to my teenage sons.
My 16 yo asked me the other day why tampons were all different sizes, how long periods normally last and if they hurt.
He said that he wants to know these things for when he gets a gf and also that if they do hurt, is there anything he can do to help her.
Super proud of him ❤️

Always one. It’s not come up for the op and talking openly about periods is pretty new. We do in our house but only because my daughter started last year. Your 3 and 5 year old do not need or understand all of that. I bleed. It’s natural. It’s usually all kids need.

Yes agree - 'found out' is not really the right language to use. As someone else says, would you talk about 'finding out' about sneezing or weeing? Periods are just as normal and nothing to find out about - tyou find out about secrets that someone doesn't want you to know.

Why do so many women say "tummy" instead of "uterus" or "womb"?

No wonder so many kids think women eat babies. Just teach the correct words, is it really so hard to say "babies grow in a mummy's womb, which is here, just below the stomach."

TbH I'm actually concerned that your friend hasn't told her 8 year old daughter yet. She or some of her friends will be starting their periods soon, how terrifying will that be if she doesn't know about periods? My grandmother didn't tell my Mum in the 1950s and my poor Mum was terrified when she started bleeding and it was her aunt who ended up explaining it all to her (Mum was at boarding school so it was easy to hide from her mother).

Teach him that women's blood is powerful and creative. That babies are made with a woman's own flesh, blood and bones in her uterus and that all mammal young are grown this way, inside a mother animal.

DM never told me, obviously I knew from school friends but to this day why she hid it I’ll never know.
It’s a normal bodily function and I’ve never hidden it. I’m not afforded any privacy by DD anyway!

Both of my kids (8 and 6) know about periods, they've seen tampons and we've discussed how women bleed every month in a very basic way. They weren't particularly interested but they are boys so they probably don't care knowing it won't be happening to them.

I used the words 'found out' just describing my situation because unfortunately my son got a bit of a shock walking in on me, but I reassured him and explained instantly. If he had asked me what a tampon was at the age of 4/5/6 I would have told him but it never came up. I always just awnser questions honestly as they arise. He wanted to know at 6 how babies 'come out of a tummy' for example so I had already explained bits and pieces like that.

Also I didn't mean I wouldn't tell a daughter until the age of 8, just that I would make sure I'd said something by the age of 8 if that makes sense. Some girls can start as young as 8 so I think with a daughter I'd have it in my head that she'd need to know by then whether it came up naturally or not.

Will he even understand what you’re saying without freaking out? I don’t see why you have to go into details, honestly. Just tell him you’re not up for a swim ?

Thanks all, in complete honesty I think I have maybe been a bit less forthcoming as he has a huge fear of blood (after witnessing a very bad accident age 2)

My ds hates blood (head injury necessitating many hours in a busy A&E) but he's always been fine with knowing I bleed for so many days once a month so he may surprise you.

My daughter has known for years (she's 5) because I was that girl who found about periods when one hot summers day at a squadron barbecue I went to the toilet and got rather a shock.

I’m going to go against the grain here, my 6 year old daughter doesn’t know about periods. I don’t have them (am on the pill and run them back to back) so it’s never come up. I may have to get a book now to explain!

My sons are 6 and 4 and know once a month I get my "blood" which means I don't have a baby in my tummy. They know I use tampons and a moon up so I don't make a mess of my clothes and sheets.

Why the need to be careful about how its worded? Periods can be very life limiting. Some women's lives are literally on hold for a week at a time because their periods make them so unwell. Issues relating to menstrual issues are so under researched and their impact so often brushed under the carpet. Why perpetuate the notion that periods don't sometimes make things very difficult, if not impossible? My mum had a rule that if I wasn't feeling well, I could stay off school, except if it was because of my period, because women just have to manage.

I hate this attitude. Op isn't swimming because she has her period. In the spirit of normalising periods, surely we should be bringing the reality of them into the open. I certainly won't be acting like a bodyform add, skating along in my cycling shorts when it's time to tell my kids about my period, because that's not my reality.

Si, you should tell him. Only don’t do a “This is the story of Eve’s curse” as my abuela did when she told me about periods. 🙄