To stop DS15 meeting his GF this evening because I caught him Vaping ?

threeblowdries · 2024-02-03T18:12:08+00:00

Not the 1st time he's been caught. I'm very disappointed but not sure if I overreacted by not allowing him meet GF. Parenting teens is tough !

RatatouillePie · 03/02/2024 18:14

It sounds a sensible consequence to me!

Ilovelurchers · 03/02/2024 18:15

Sounds very fair.

Maybeicanhelpyou · 03/02/2024 18:16

It’s a consequence, but how can he afford to vape?
Maybe withdraw finance instead??

Original poster

threeblowdries · 03/02/2024 18:17

Thanks for replies. Feel silly doubting myself now but teens can tie you in knots!

OP posts:

Original poster

threeblowdries · 03/02/2024 18:19

He's not flush but had money from GPs at Xmas.
I revolut him so have an idea where he's spending it. Will definitely be reviewing what I give him.

OP posts:

Createausername1970 · 03/02/2024 18:27

Teens are irritating. I found imposing sanctions for smoking, vaping etc., pointless. All that meant was he did it when he was out and I didn't know where he was getting it from, or what was in it.

I took a different stance. I "allowed" him to, but tried to ensure it was nicotine free and purchased from a reputable shop. But he had to leave it down stairs and go in the garden to vape. I treated vaping like smoking. Didn't like it, but couldn't stop him, but would try to see it was done responsibly and hopefully get him to understand it's not just a bit of fun and there are rules and regulations around vaping.

But if you take a different tack, then you need to be sticking to that tack and imposing consequences.

Underthesea65 · 03/02/2024 18:33

Createausername1970 · 03/02/2024 18:27

Teens are irritating. I found imposing sanctions for smoking, vaping etc., pointless. All that meant was he did it when he was out and I didn't know where he was getting it from, or what was in it.

I took a different stance. I "allowed" him to, but tried to ensure it was nicotine free and purchased from a reputable shop. But he had to leave it down stairs and go in the garden to vape. I treated vaping like smoking. Didn't like it, but couldn't stop him, but would try to see it was done responsibly and hopefully get him to understand it's not just a bit of fun and there are rules and regulations around vaping.

But if you take a different tack, then you need to be sticking to that tack and imposing consequences.

I agree with this totally

frazzled22 · 03/02/2024 18:36

Createausername1970 · 03/02/2024 18:27

Teens are irritating. I found imposing sanctions for smoking, vaping etc., pointless. All that meant was he did it when he was out and I didn't know where he was getting it from, or what was in it.

I took a different stance. I "allowed" him to, but tried to ensure it was nicotine free and purchased from a reputable shop. But he had to leave it down stairs and go in the garden to vape. I treated vaping like smoking. Didn't like it, but couldn't stop him, but would try to see it was done responsibly and hopefully get him to understand it's not just a bit of fun and there are rules and regulations around vaping.

But if you take a different tack, then you need to be sticking to that tack and imposing consequences.

I agree this is the way to go. There's no way you can stop them but important they know the risks etc.
In my experience they soon grow out of this 'phase'.

ChesterFoxE · 03/02/2024 18:36

I have a DD15 and have made it very clear if I ever find out she's been vaping (again) I will be removing her phone (again) and privileges for a month.....and she knows I will.

This seems to be enough to deter her🤣

SavingEveryLastPenny · 03/02/2024 18:39

You're not going to stop him, in fact he'll prob rebel more.
He doesn't need much money bm. Stores sell a vape for 8 quid and a quid for liquids.
Most newsagents sell them to Underage kids too, so he'll easily get them.

CricketWhites1 · 03/02/2024 19:04

I've got this ongoing with my 17 year old so I hear you.

I'd probably have been stricter at 15 but now I just make it clear how much I disapprove and that's about it.

I wouldn't dish out unconnected punishments. You won't stop him.

Move forward with ground rules - maybe never in the house? Or you don't want to see it? Or it must be nicotine free? Whatever

But your choice is quite simple ... you either create an atmosphere where he can tell you everything OR he doesn't anyway but you won't know about it

Ponderingwindow · 03/02/2024 19:06

If he is vaping, he has shown he isn’t responsible enough to have his current level of freedom. I wouldn’t just stop him seeing his girlfriend tonight. I would fundamentally change his schedule going forward.

Isthisexpected · 03/02/2024 19:09

Ponderingwindow · 03/02/2024 19:06

If he is vaping, he has shown he isn’t responsible enough to have his current level of freedom. I wouldn’t just stop him seeing his girlfriend tonight. I would fundamentally change his schedule going forward.

So would I. I'd say he has shown you how little he is ready for the grown up world...

Plinkplonkplink · 03/02/2024 19:11

Isthisexpected · 03/02/2024 19:09

So would I. I'd say he has shown you how little he is ready for the grown up world...

Show quote history

grown ups vape……

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 03/02/2024 19:24

Completely reasonable response.
Tonight and the rest of the month incl half term. She can visit