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Original poster

Help me get revenge on "DH" (light-hearted)

33 replies

BumbleNova · 03/02/2024 10:59

My "DH" came rolling in v pissed at circa 230am last night. Made a ridiculous racket, literally came in and woke me up. After I had been up with both kids.

Then snored his head off so I didn't sleep. Kept the kids up too.

Refused to get up with them at 5am (yep my job) and is still refusing to get out of bed. He knows his medication (sertraline) plus lots of beer makes him really unwell (dodgy tum) and he has done it again!

We have guests in 3 hours. The house is a shit tip and the bastard is still refusing to move! I went to the gym and he didn't look after the kids. One of them hurt themselves and the other was sat in a dirty nappy when I got back.

I need tactics for revenge. I am absolutely fuming!

OP posts:
Notamum12345577 · 03/02/2024 11:03

One of kids got hurt, and they both weren’t looked after. Is it really light hearted?

Christmaslights21 · 03/02/2024 11:04

I’m really shocked that you left him with kids young enough to need constant supervision while he was refusing to get out of bed.
He sounds like a waste of space. You’re not coming across well either. There’s nothing light hearted about this!

StripeyDeckchair · 03/02/2024 11:07

Wake him, take the kids in and go out.
Return after the guests have arrived so he's had to explain why he's in a state, the kids are running riot, the house is a mess and there's nothing there for the guests.

I'd bring back lunch if it wasn't already organised.

I'd also be prepared to walk in look at the chaos and take everyone out to the nearest pub / cafe wharever for lunch. But I'd be clear this was on "d"H

I will not put up with selfish, thoughtless behaviour, especially from a partner. The expectation that you will deal with the fall out from his drinking is disgusting.

MrsMoastyToasty · 03/02/2024 11:08

Cook something really smelly like fried breakfast or fish. Put on some music really loudly, put the hoover on and give the kids a saucepan and wooden spoon to play drumming.

Original poster
BumbleNova · 03/02/2024 11:08

Sorry to clarify - they are 5 and 3 and he swore he was getting out of bed and I didn't leave until he was up right and stood up. He clearly then went back to bed.

The eldest has a scratch - it's from arguing with his brother.

They were both fed, watered and dressed when I left for 30 mins!

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 03/02/2024 11:11

I would be going absolutely crazy at him tbh. How selfish

CaineRaine · 03/02/2024 11:11

If they’re his guests, I’d cancel them and tell them why. If they were my guests and I still wanted to see them, I’d meet up with them elsewhere and leave him to it.

Christmaslights21 · 03/02/2024 11:11

BumbleNova · 03/02/2024 11:08

Sorry to clarify - they are 5 and 3 and he swore he was getting out of bed and I didn't leave until he was up right and stood up. He clearly then went back to bed.

The eldest has a scratch - it's from arguing with his brother.

They were both fed, watered and dressed when I left for 30 mins!

Ok, sorry for jumping to conclusions, this wasn’t clear from your OP.
The rest of my post stands-they’re of an age where they need constant supervision and I would be really upset that he has gone back to bed and left them to their own devices. He really put them at risk.

FictionalCharacter · 03/02/2024 11:11

You don’t need revenge l you need your husband to grow up and start being a responsible husband and father.

ShowOfHands · 03/02/2024 11:17

This isn't light-hearted.

Your husband left two small children and went back to bed, didn't meet their basic needs for supervision and hygiene and put them at risk of serious injury.

Revenge is pathetic at the best of times. Right now, you need to seriously consider the safety of your children and the commitment of your partner to raising a family.

MassiveOvaryaction · 03/02/2024 11:26

That's really not "light-hearted revenge" territory imo.

daisychain01 · 03/02/2024 11:29

We have guests in 3 hours. The house is a shit tip and the bastard is still refusing to move! I went to the gym and he didn't look after the kids. One of them hurt themselves and the other was sat in a dirty nappy when I got back.

difficult to think of childish pranks when you have a partner who is such a dick.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/02/2024 11:31

How about divorce papers served on a platter for lunch?

ClematisRock · 03/02/2024 11:36

I don't think I'd have gone to the gym with three hours to visitors coming and the house looking like a 'shit tip.'

Burnamer · 03/02/2024 11:41

I’m not sure this is in “light-hearted / revenge prank” territory. Would you post on Relationships about your relationship as a whole. Maybe your boundaries / standards are a bit skewed.

LuluBlakey1 · 03/02/2024 11:43

He sounds awful.

79redballoons · 03/02/2024 11:46

This shouldn't be lighthearted. Your 'DH' is a shit husband and a shit father.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 03/02/2024 11:46

Nothing lighthearted about this

memyselfi · 03/02/2024 11:47

Is ' light hearted ' how you feel ?
It's okay to be upset when something upsetting happens.
Do you feel you can express yourself freely or does communication have to take place under the guise of humour ?

ChanelNo19EDT · 03/02/2024 11:48

You can't "get him back" because he either won't prioritise children's care or he's too incompetent to care for them.

My "revenge" would be to start planning. Are you financially dependent on this guy?

MesCroissants · 03/02/2024 11:48

I wouldn't be feeling light-hearted about him neglecting my children op...

Borris · 03/02/2024 11:50

He's an idiot. But if he is drunk at 2.30 am he is not capable of looking after children by 5am.

Morecatsarebetter · 03/02/2024 11:54

Borris · 03/02/2024 11:50

He's an idiot. But if he is drunk at 2.30 am he is not capable of looking after children by 5am.

Exactly. I’m surprised they were left unless it was as some sort of revenge. Open the bedroom windows and let him freeze. Having to get up and entertain guests will be punishment enough x

WeeOrcadian · 03/02/2024 11:58

I think you need to give yourself a good talking to her OP - you left young DC with someone who was still under the influence and clearly couldn't give a shit about their safety and basic needs

You left the DC with this man - I'm not sure who is worse here, you or him

And as for guests - I'd make myself scarce half an hour before they're due to arrive and let him deal with it all - fuck around, find out.

Scalottia · 03/02/2024 11:58

How the fuck do you think this is light-hearted OP? It really isn't. I can't imagine my partner ever coming home that drunk. It isn't normal, your husband needs to grow up.