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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel like I’m going mad

28 replies

Kmk91 · 03/02/2024 09:10

Hi everyone sorry for the long post. I don’t know if ibu or in the right here so could really appreciate some advice as I don’t want to confide in family or friends about this. I’m with DP 3 years now. We have a beautiful 4 month old daughter and he has two lovely children from his previous marriage. Before our dd arrived I did most of the house work made breakfast lunch and dinner for him and his two kids washing cleaning shopping etc. since dd I haven’t had as much time to do everything I was doing before but I’m really trying my best. But it’s not enough for dp. He gets very frustrated if I don’t have lunch or dinner ready for him and kids even though he sees me feeding dd or cleaning house. He keeps telling me it’s the way modern women are now a days and that’s just me. He also keeps informing me that his ex wife never stopped after having kids but I feel I’m the exact same and he just doesn’t see it. He told me in the past he would take the two kids on weekend mornings so ex could have a lie in but when I ask him he tells he does a enough and I wanted a baby so I should be taking her in the mornings. He tells me as well that because I’m not working now (maternity leave) that I have no reason to be tired.He doesn’t help with night feeds or in general anything to do regarding the baby. He is now taking his two kids abroad next week for mid term. DD passport hasn’t arrived so we’re staying at home. I don’t mind about that I’m almost happy to have a break from him which I feel terrible about. He gets frustrated very easily and shouts at me putting me down. He shouts at me in front of his kids and I feel they are different around me recently.

Sorry for the long post. I just feel I’ve no one to talk to about this. I feel like I’m going crazy and a horrible person.

OP posts:
PennyNotWise · 03/02/2024 14:24

You haven’t failed anything my lovely, you’ve got a new baby and he should be looking after you. I think your parents will have sympathy and hopefully rally around you ❤️

HarrietStyles · 03/02/2024 14:30

Oh @Kmk91 he’s completely taken advantage of you.

Guaranteed his first relationship ended because he was a sexist abusive deadbeat partner/father. I’m sure he’s spun you a story though about how awfully she treated him?!

When he realised that he actually had to look after his own children 3 nights a week… he quickly found himself a lovely, kind, people pleasing girlfriend who would do all the hard work (in his eyes women’s work that is beneath him).

Now that you have grown wise to his sexist and manipulative ways….. and hopefully leave him….. you can be certain that he will be straight on the look out for the next sweet people pleasing woman he can find to look after his children and do all the housework and cooking for him. And of course he’ll tell her what an awful partner you were to him, paint himself as the never ending victim.

CameltoeParkerBowles · 03/02/2024 16:42

He's a cunt. Get rid of the useless twat.

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