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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog humping - To leave him to it?

75 replies

Devilshands · 03/02/2024 08:03

I have a dog, just out of puppyhood - 14 months. He’s a big breed so not yet an adult.

Since day one he has been a humper - toys, beds, bushes, my other dogs (attempts to - he usually gets within two foot and thinks better!), blankets, cushions, etc. I thought there was something seriously wrong with him and took him to the vets several times - turns out he’s just a raging sex pest. More than adequately exercised (before anyone says that’s why!)

Anyway. I usually leave him to it. Doesn’t bother me or him or my other dogs. No intention of getting him snipped as he’ll be shown once he’s older (before someone tells me I should).

This morning I get a knock on my front door from my neighbour. Her garden backs onto mine, but her house is down the hill. This means that from their top floors they can see into part of my garden (I have a big wrap around) and I can see into theirs. Anyway, she tells me I need to control my dog and stop him humping. Apparently it’s deeply traumatic for her and her children (primary age - but not young). No opportunity to say anything and then she calls him a pervert and stalks off!

I go outside, and he’s got his sofa bed (you fling it over the sofa to stop fur getting on it) in the garden and is merrily humping it whilst staring into their garden. He looks so happy…and he’s not actually doing anything wrong.

So, AIBU to let my dog hump in the privacy of his own back garden?

OP posts:
Abhannmor · 03/02/2024 10:35

It's a wonder they survive as a species , they seem very confused 😂

Original poster
Devilshands · 03/02/2024 11:32

For those of you voting that YABU - I’d love to hear your rationale

OP posts:
SueBranchers · 03/02/2024 11:36

if you have a large dog, have it under control. i would argue one reason is lack of mental stimulation. physical exercise is one thing, but mental exercise tires them out brilliantly! it’s all fun and games until he doesn’t grow out of it because it isn’t discouraged, and he knocks over a child or something. better safe than sorry

lifeispainauchocolat · 03/02/2024 11:36

I definitely wouldn't be leaving him to it - it's not an ideal behaviour in dogs and is often related to stress or over-stimulation. Much better to divert his energies elsewhere and help him learn to regulate himself in a more appropriate way.

Beetlewings · 03/02/2024 11:49

First thing I trained my dog out of, I can't stand seeing dogs humping. Mine's an entire male too so it's not impossible

Original poster
Devilshands · 03/02/2024 12:35

SueBranchers · 03/02/2024 11:36

if you have a large dog, have it under control. i would argue one reason is lack of mental stimulation. physical exercise is one thing, but mental exercise tires them out brilliantly! it’s all fun and games until he doesn’t grow out of it because it isn’t discouraged, and he knocks over a child or something. better safe than sorry

Oh he's under control.

He's completed his SGWC and is fantastically trained. He gets 12 miles of walks a day and 2hrs+ of mental stimulation (combination of early stages of doggy dancing, puzzles and new tricks). I know exactly why he humps - over excitement first thing in the morning, after lunch and after dinner. Always related to food.

My question is why am I being unreasonable in letting him do it. He's not actually hurting anyone through his antics

OP posts:
lifeispainauchocolat · 03/02/2024 12:40

My question is why am I being unreasonable in letting him do it. He's not actually hurting anyone through his antics

I never let dogs hump simply because it's not a desirable behaviour. Just like I don't let them jump up, or mouth me, or demand bark. It's an easy enough behaviour to prevent, really.

But that said, it's your dog and if you don't care then, well, crack on I guess.

BobbyBiscuits · 03/02/2024 12:44

My cousin is a vet, and we were talking about this the other day. I could not believe it when she said that 'humping' wasn't sexual. Apparently they don't 'finish' on your leg if you let them do it for too long. It's apparently a greeting, like when cats rub up against you with their faces and stuff. So I would say in that case it's totally harmless. My cousin laughed at me for thinking the dog was horny as hell!

lifeispainauchocolat · 03/02/2024 12:45

I have to say I have never heard of humping being a greeting - it normally happens because they're over-excited or over-stimulated and don't know how to control themselves in that particular situation - so they hump as an outlet for that energy.

BobbyBiscuits · 03/02/2024 13:12

@lifeispainauchocolat Maybe I slightly got the wrong end of the stick, I guess she was saying it's not sexual. It certainly happens when the dog is excited, and I guess that corresponds with greeting someone they like when they arrive. I suppose if the dog was medium or large it might actually knock someone over while humping. The dogs I know are all small and we find it quite funny when they do it. If you push them away they do stop.

Holeycake · 03/02/2024 13:21

Am I right in thinking your neighbour has to stare down from upstairs to see into your garden? I think we know who the real pervert is. Your poor dog just trying to have a bit of fun in his own garden!

Katemax82 · 03/02/2024 13:22

why no intention of getting him neutered? what if he somehow managed to impregnate another dog? thats really irresponsible

Tattletwat · 03/02/2024 13:24

Thank you you have given me a god laugh this morning. Calling the dog a pervert 😂

lifeispainauchocolat · 03/02/2024 13:29

BobbyBiscuits · 03/02/2024 13:12

@lifeispainauchocolat Maybe I slightly got the wrong end of the stick, I guess she was saying it's not sexual. It certainly happens when the dog is excited, and I guess that corresponds with greeting someone they like when they arrive. I suppose if the dog was medium or large it might actually knock someone over while humping. The dogs I know are all small and we find it quite funny when they do it. If you push them away they do stop.

Ah, that makes sense. Humping when greeting is quite common - as you say, excitement and they don't know what else to do Grin it's painful though and not a behaviour I allow in any of the dogs I care for.

More common is when dogs bring you a toy when you come home or in the room. It's another "excitement" behaviour - they don't know what to do so they bring you a gift, lol.

lifeispainauchocolat · 03/02/2024 13:31

Katemax82 · 03/02/2024 13:22

why no intention of getting him neutered? what if he somehow managed to impregnate another dog? thats really irresponsible

Show dogs can't be neutered.

It's also not remotely irresponsible to have an entire dog - in fact, there are many health and behavioural benefits to keeping dogs entire.

Laiste · 03/02/2024 13:32

It's a large breed. You should have control over behaviours which could impact other people or other people's animals; which humping anything he fancies whenever he fancies it definitely IS.

doorbellcamera · 03/02/2024 13:32

Well OP, at least you know not to sunbathe topless in your garden now Grin

Original poster
Devilshands · 03/02/2024 13:34

doorbellcamera · 03/02/2024 13:32

Well OP, at least you know not to sunbathe topless in your garden now Grin

I dunno...maybe the sheer horror of my naked body would stop them staring into my backgarden!

OP posts:
TerriPie · 03/02/2024 13:36

It's a natural behavior and if he's not being neutered it won't stop which is fair enough. Just leave him to do his thing.

I would have fun with the neighbour though and apologise profusely for the dog and explain it's not really his fault, he was just copying you and your DH, you didn't realise he was watching until it was too late 😳.

Laiste · 03/02/2024 13:42

The thing is, behaviour which is easy to laugh at or shrug off at home is one thing, but out and about it's a different kettle of fish, especially with a large breed.

Show ground is a good example. I'm pretty sure other owners at a show venue wouldn't appreciate him humping their dogs with it obvious that you've never attempted to curb it, and have no strategy in place to do so.

Willmafrockfit · 03/02/2024 13:52

@lifeispainauchocolat what can i do about my demand barking visitng dog out of interest, i have him twice a week as a favour

NoTouch · 03/02/2024 14:01

I don't know the answer, my lab was a humper his whole life, even after he was neutered at around 15 months the behaviour continued.

He was a big soft lump, but we had to be extremely careful with him around smaller children (never adults) as occasionally he would (very gently and tentatively) try to mount them and due to his size could knock them over/hurt them with his size/nails.

WiddlinDiddlin · 03/02/2024 14:04

With my behaviourist hat on...

Generally, ignore it - provide suitable hump-material (big soft toy, squishy bed) and redirect to that if he is trying to hump people of course.

Have a think about what may trigger it, its often a displacement activity and can be related to stress/anxiety and that can be addressed, but it can simply be fun to hump and a normal part of puppy/adolescent development that he will grow out of in time.

I'd also ignore the neighbour or tell her not to nosey into your garden and that will stop her seeing things that offend her.

LimberlostLark · 03/02/2024 14:13

Mine used to be similar but with a blanket he'd dragged off the sofa.

We'd call it Wanky Blanky time.

Anyway, he grew out of it within a few months.

OverwhelmedSomtimes29 · 03/02/2024 14:15

Baircasolly · 03/02/2024 08:39

I mean, it's not technically her business, but I would also find it difficult to enjoy sitting in my garden if there was a dog next door staring at me while he's having a wank.

😂😂