A blank "NO" is just so rude?

[ClaireParrot]

My kid asked for dads for help from another room. He just gave a blank "NO" without any explanation. AIBU to find it so rude and mean.
Kid was building a complicated lego kit. Its a mega build, combined xmas and birthday money. So excited! Wouldn't wait until tomorrow to get started. Says doesn't need any help, but of course its not true.
I was sat with Dad watching crap TV. Every few mins, we'd get an update or visit to tell us the latest, so I went to sit in the same room, helping when needed And just sharing the excitement. A couple of times we were both lost so I asked Dad to come and help. He did so slowly and reluctantly. Third time, we get a blank "No".
When I went in Dad was laid down, looking tired. But why not say I'm tired? I just think its so rude to say "NO" to a kid who asked nicely and is doing something exciting and productive rather than gaming for a change, that he also finds annoying.

I see you have met my father!
'Your head is in a book ALL the time, you should be OUTSIDE'
Never actually went outside himself...

Does he have form for this? Does he otherwise engage with his kid, both 121 and as a family?

I sometimes do it, usually because an explanation encourages more discussion.

Think you're being a bit OTT - he helped twice, while trying to sit & relax, you said it was reluctantly so you knew he wasn't keen to do it right then, but you still carried on calling him in?

So he says no and you say he looks tired and all you think is about being annoyed he didn't give a full & detailed explanation?

Perhaps he just wasn't feeling as giddy over the joy & wonder of the Lego at that moment. You make it sound like it was a magical moment just because your kid wanted to do it right then.

Does it really make him a disappointing and disinterested father just because you & DC were keen to do Lego at that time & he was tired?

He's probably been on mumsnet, setting his boundaries, raising his standards and muttering 'no is a complete sentence' to himself

Monitor his internet use OP

A blank "no" is not rude. Why do adults feel pressured to do stuff they really don't want to do? I couldn't be bothered, like your husband. That's why I stayed child free, obviously. Thing is,
I cannot be bothered with most people, really, kids or adults... 🥴

Why is ‘no’ rude? Why does it need to be explained or qualified, as if a ‘no’ isn’t valid enough by itself?

Admittedly I come from a country where speaking directly/blunty isn’t considered rude, and I’ve never been able to get my head around the idea that just saying ‘no’ is a faux pas.

How old is the kid and what time of the day was this?

If your kid is 7 and this was 2pm, then yeah, a bit out of order.

If your kid is 13 and it was 10pm then more understandable.

And who wants constant updates on the Lego-building? I’d have said no too

The kid needs to learn that constant demands for attention can be denied.

I'm with @Boobettes on this. He said No to doing it today.

You both ought to have either enforced waiting until tomorrow or one of you decide to do it with DC with the enthusiasm it deserves.

Its ended up crap all round for everyone.

I'd agree with @Boobettes too. When th3e dc were small it was one of my major irritations that everything had interruptions, which meant things took longer and I couldn't relax as sometimes I needed to. I think he was being kind to come through twice, especially as you were already helping.
It sounds like you were making a bit of a point of you were helping and he wasn't so wanted to interrupt him.

I don't know where you come from but I've lived in a few other European countries where saying a blunt "no" to a young child would be considered harsh unless they've been naughty or really demanding. Saying something like "Daddy is too tired right now" would be the norm. If an adult asked for help or wanted to show you something I doubt you'd just say a blank "No", no matter what culture you come from.

Prisons are full of people who’ve never been told no

Imagine a world where saying "No" is fine and acceptable.

No justifications needed, no guilt, no worrying about decisions or how to get out of doing stuff you don't really want to do.

"Fancy a beer?"
"No"

"Can you drive me to the airport?"
"No"

"Do you want to come to the office party?"
"No"

"Do you want to come to the office party?"
"No"

I definitely do that one. Of course, people demand an explanation after but I have childcare as a handy excuse.

Sounds like a brilliant world to live in.

Not everything needs a reason, or an explanation or someone tying themselves up in knots to try to not hurt someone else's feelings. Sometimes a No thank you without any wittering on is all that is required.

I think you've answered your own question, I can imagine many questions other than simple statements of facts where I'd say a blunt no especially where my children are asking the question, to me with my upbringing thats really rude

Maybe the husband here is from a more direct culture too

How long was the gap between, 'I don't need help' 1st 'help me' OK, 2nd 'help me' OK, 3rd 'help me'... and as per pp was this at nearly midnight? What's age of child?

I dont think people are saying that not wanting to help the child is the problem it's the manner in which the no was delivered isn't it?

A firm no teaches a child to stop pestering doesn’t it

Nailed it. If he didn't want to help with the adult grade lego, then he shouldn't have encouraged it as a thing they would do together and then abandon it. I had a really shitty day but tried my best to step up and help to compensate for him not bothering. I am sick of the sad looks from my kids when he can't even be bothered to explain why they come much lower in the pecking order than sitting on his fat arse, looking at his phone and watching TV. Everyone deserves a break, but he is on one LONG break from parenting.