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To be pissed off friend cancelled plans for other plans?

13 replies

pinkchicken · 02/02/2024 21:40

Not actually a friend, more of an acquaintance who we met through a friend. Got along well and they reached out to say it would be good to meet up. We arranged to go out for a nice walk and dinner at a fancy pub (at their request). They said feel free to invite another friend or two so there could be a bigger group.

Invited another acquaintance who we thought would get along with the other. Booked the pub and put deposit down. Been in the calendar a while.

Then get a message from acquaintance 1 saying can we cancel this time because they’ve now been invited to go for a walk in the countryside and stay at their friend’s holiday cottage, so they’re going to do that instead.

AIBU to be pissed off?

  1. It’s rude to cancel plans and then say it’s because you got a better option.
  2. We invited the other acquaintance as we thought they’d specifically get along. We will still enjoy their company but makes it a bit more awkward having a couple and one single person go for a meal.
  3. Now going to have to cough up the £10 for the booking.
OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

76 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
EIIaJ · 02/02/2024 21:44

Why do you have to pay for them? And I get what you mean but is it something that a holiday cottage thing has come up as a real one off and it would be a shame to say no to it because of a meal that could be arranged for any weekend?

Sparklesocks · 02/02/2024 21:46

Very rude. I think I’d still go with the other friend - it doesn’t have to be awkward.

is it £10 deposit overall or £10 per person? If it’s the latter i’d say something like ‘sorry you can’t make it, was looking forward to seeing you (etc etc) the pub required £10 pp when I booked so here are my bank details’. I think it’s reasonable to still pay if you’ve cancelled (and aren’t ill etc).

WhamBamThankU · 02/02/2024 21:51

I think it's rude yes. I'd ask them to contribute to the deposit if you lose it.

TheSilentSister · 02/02/2024 21:52

Yes I'd be very annoyed and wait for them make contact next time, and book it.
Go and have a good time, life is for living.

MermaidMummy06 · 02/02/2024 21:57

After having had this happen to me millions of times, I have learned to never trust people unless I know them very well & know they'll turn up (and pay for themselves). Also to never be the booker who ends up out of pocket and always have a back up plan. Yes, it's happened to me that often. No, I don't do it to anyone.

I've one friend who is the worst. She'll invite us somewhere, ask me to book, or we get ready to meet at park with kids etc. and then cancels last minute & 'forgets' to pay me back. Now I tell her to book her own place/tickets & if she doesn't show, and i.make sure it's somewhere we can still enjoy alone.

What's worse is that these people are hypocritical. We'd often go to her place for a bbq & her & her DH would be fuming if someone was late or cancelled!!

pinkchicken · 02/02/2024 22:21

Glad it’s not only me. Yes we have to pay the £10 per person if someone doesn’t attend their booking, and needs 72hr cancellation.

OP posts:
BaybeeTammy · 02/02/2024 22:29

Who tf is WE

pinkchicken · 02/02/2024 22:32

We is me and dh, sorry

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 02/02/2024 22:33

I’d hit her up for her share of the cancellation for sure. What a flake!

Bingoe · 02/02/2024 22:35

It’s rude to cancel plans and then say it’s because you got a better option.
Yes. It’s very selfish and mean. A friend did this to me once and I never went out with her again. It just soured the whole friendship to know I was second best and she didn’t care about just ditching me.

Striples · 02/02/2024 22:37

Weird rude people...wouldn't classify them as friends going forward.

Also why specifically ask you to organise something, just to cancel and explicitly point out they had a "better offer"?

Sound like adult bullies unfortunately.

Phase them out, or they'll cause more drama.

mondaytosunday · 02/02/2024 22:54

Yep it's rude. I get the 'I'll let you know' which means they think I have nothing better to do and keep the date free but they can wait and see if they have a better offer or can be bothered on the day. Hate it.
Why don't you just invite someone else to take their place? And what kind of place wants deposit for four people?

pootlin · 02/02/2024 23:10

Tell them to transfer you the £10 now.

And never make plans with the skank again.

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