I love my mum and my dad, but I love them separately and not as a couple. They’ve been married since I was a toddler and have been together for over 25 years with multiple of us children. He is awful to her, as long as I remember he has been horrible to her. He calls her names, belittles her and although I’ve never really admitted it - he is mentally abusive to her. When we were kids, he used to be abusive (both physically and mentally) and then would go through ‘happy’ patches where they were the version of love I thought I wanted. Now he’s just awful and they don’t talk and just ‘put up’ which each other - no happy times and him just calling her names and degrading her daily. I feel so bad for my mum as she’s getting old and being with a person that makes her feel bad about herself every day of her life. I’d love to imagine her being with someone that treats her properly and that loves her the way she deserves to be loved. I don’t want her to waste the little amount of life’s she’s got living like this. I want her to be happy.
I also love my dad, but I despise his behaviour and actions. It feels so heavy because my mum and dad being together is all I’ve known but I want to try and convince my mum to leave.
so
YABU - don’t say anything and let them figure it out themselves
YANBU - tell your mum and try and convince her to leave so she can be happy