Hello,
I'm really hoping to get other views on "friends openly saying they are prioritising themselves".
For context, I have a friend for maybe 10 years or so, who is the type of person that is always on a diet, watching alcohol consumption, has a life coach, therapist, PT and other people I'm sure.
Now while I'm absolutely all for taking time for yourself and not stretching yourself too thin I feel at what point does "prioritising themselves" just translate to I'm only going to do what I want to do under the ruse of prioritising themselves.
Couple of scenarios.
Her bf had a family wedding she was invited to the hen do, however it was a bit of money, as these things always are, she wasn't keen on the do itself so she declined to go but set up another WhatsApp group creating another hen do that she felt was better and suited more.
Another was I was 8 months pregnant and we went to dinner. I got very bad news at 20 week scan, our baby had to have open heart surgery when born. Id ask d to meet for coffee a few times during pregnancy, always meet with I'm so chocca but if you need anything just shout. I asked if we could go to a bar before dinner as I wasn't out much and wanted a change of venue. She wasn't keen and said her bf was working so they would meet us at the restaurant. I said no worries. My partner and I went for a mocktail before and went to meet them at the restaurant, where we were greeted with, Omg so lovely to see you I'm on my second champagne 🤔 apparently they found time to have a drink before.
End of meal again I asked if we could go for a drink, again not keen on leaving the restaurant so said they could stay for a drink at the restaurant bar. So at 8 plus mths pregnant I was trying to sit at a bar on a bar stool. I was and still am so cross about this.
Fast forward to my 40th birthday meal which was a few months ago. Invited her to an intimate family dinner, she says she'll be there for food but is not going to drink much and will leave after dinner. Again I say that's grand a shame as it would have been nice to have a few drinks and celebrate my birthday and the crappy pregnancy I had but accepted it. Day of the meal my hairdresser had run late so I let her know and changed the reservation for 30 mins later, she said she was already in the city so would have to fill time but would be great if we could get there earlier. Gets to meal time and she arrives absolutely SMASHED, she had a 121 with her manager that started at 2pm (table booked at 7:30pm) and had been drinking since they met. Despite her saying she wasn't drinking.
Conversation input touches on how she gets annoyed at my timekeeping, she feels that my partner is always annoyed with her when she comes over and makes a big song and dance about the fact I tried some of her food (bite of burger)when she was finished and put it back on her plate after. Probably not great table etiquette granted. However I wouldn't have personally made a scene about it.
Sooo with some nip shots up there, I would like to hear from anyone 😂 am I being unreasonable, or indeed self involved? I just feel she will only do what suits her needs and after ten years of listening to this I need to look after myself and prioritise myself I'm just getting a bit sick of it.
I will say she was very helpful when our baby was having open heart surgery and did help us with dog sitting, which I'm ever so thankful for as it was a huge help. So she does have good points, I'm just really conflicted about this one x