To expect my 3 year old not to cover me in shit every day?

[Coveredinshit]

I’m posting in desperation and also because I just need to share and vent.

Every time I go to clear up poo DS won’t stand still, wriggles around laughing uproariously so I end up with shit on me.

It is REALLY getting to me, and I’m fed up.

staying creepily calm, distracting with stuff like counting how many balloons there are in a picture on the wall, trying to remember who was next in each peach pear plum if I said the first half of a line and things, and reminding that if we calm down we get a reward. Definitely acting like they're upset rather than being incredibly annoying have all helped massively for us.

The HV and preschool disagree with you @SleepingStandingUp , much as I am sure you’re an expert!

Delights of three year old. Horrible beasts!

I feel your pain, I don't recall him being wiggly but DS1 went through a stage of weeing in the potty but then hiding to poo his pants. It was disgusting. I don't think I really did anything to snap him out of it, I guess eventually it just clicked.

My HV said to always use clean baby wipes to clean after an accident, so as not to reward with a nice bath or shower.

I'm so glad my kids are adults now. I remember well my DS not wanting to poo on the potty or toilet but always doing it in his nappy. I used to say we can't go to the park in case you poo in your nappy when we get out. Poo in the potty or toilet seat and we can go. It tended to work most of the time because he wanted the park.

Mine was still pooing in pants until 3. I accepted it, got pooing stickers and we agreed when they turned 3 all poo in the toilet and sticker to be placed on the tiles ( then the window ). I wouldn't let them start until they turned 3 - bingo contract made - they had a total of 3 accidents, never wanted to use the potty for poo so was a risky move. Luckily from nappies to pants the poo was fairly solid so just got emptied in the toilet. Luckily she had an iron bladder and would be dry overnight wee in nappy then into pants for the day so the transition was easy.

So his pre-school teachers like cleaning him up?

havw you tried reward charts ?

@MidnightSerenader huh? I know that was meant to be a sarky response in some way but I have to admit I don’t know what you’re trying to say. I’m sure they don’t like it but equally dealing with toileting accidents is very much a part of dealing with preschool children..

But I am well aware that it is one of those I can’t win on; if I put him back in nappies then I’m dooming him to starting school in then, if not I’m … not even sure!

I am well aware some have a smooth journey to being toilet trained, we unfortunately haven’t.

It's Friday afternoon

I mean, if he's always pooing in his pants he's obviously not ready to be out of nappies.

Have you tried predicting what time of day he will poo and sending him to the toilet/potty with his favourite book/toy/ipad around that time? I have been known to sing to the child until they poo. Not sure if they enjoyed the songs though.. Potties are easier to poop in than toilets because of the angle they sit at (but no one likes to clean them).

I work in preschool, and it is surprising how regular some poo accidents are in certain children…. So it can work to predict them.

Also, having a really cool pair of pants that they don’t want to mess up really helps too!

I had this myself with my second child. He was diagnosed with toddler diarrhoea, which meant it was hard for him to control this, so if your child is having loose poos then it may be worth having a talk to with the doctors.

Good luck.

Another poo post!

Believe me there isn’t a trick I haven’t tried … I’m semi resigned to him starting school and pooing his pants and just hope something clicks before then or if it doesn’t he won’t lose friends etc.

Troll hunters, I hope you’ve reported.

It doesn’t help that you’ve posted in AIBU, rather than one of the many parenting sub-forums, OP.

You’ll say you posted here for traffic, but how is ‘traffic’ helpful, when you have to wade through all the troll-hunting and other unhelpful posts?

If you’d posted elsewhere, you’d probably have got more constructive replies.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt - I’d put him back in nappies, since regardless of whether or not he should be, he’s not ready to be out of them. And our pre-school would have very much wanted that, as well.

@MidnightSerenader the thing is I’m not really looking for advice. I am exasperated and worried and I didn’t want my three year old to bear the brunt of my frustration so I posted here. People can troll hunt all they want; I haven’t reported but I would just point out that MN do say to report and let them deal with it. In other words, it’s not for you to give me the benefit of the doubt.

I am fairly sure I have followed the advice online and in books re potty training and for whatever reason it isn’t happening. So this is where we are and it’s shit, literally!

Put him back in pull ups. There is so much time between now and him starting school for him to get it but all this stress isn’t helping either of you. Mine resisted toilet training for ages. I was convinced he’d be at school in nappies. And then one day he cried hysterically for pants and has been clean and dry day and night ever since.

oh and if he does need nappies at school it will be dealt with discretely. He won’t be the first or the last, it’s not a big deal.

I’ve just admitted defeat and put him back in pull ups 😭

Im not sure when would be good to try again. I’m thinking maybe 4? Surely he’ll have better understanding by then?

Seek advice from your h v.
It is not usual to wait til age 4. Does he have additional needs? Does he go to nursery?

I have had advice from HV.

No additional needs I know of but maybe.

He goes to nursery yes.